Techniques for dealing with depressive episode?

I like to have a good cry in bed with my sweet little dog snuggled up, I have my lavender near by and my phone with Pandora and Calm. I’ll do an Emergency meditation from Calm and then listen to something relaxing and just chill. No walks or hobbies at this time.

If my depression is super deep, I try to get back to basics — shower, brush my hair, brush my teeth, put on regular clothes (not pjs), make my bed and forcing myself to eat a meal. Then I’ll try music and funny animal videos. Those goofy critters are good medicine. I hope you’re feeling better soon. 🤗

This will probably sound unlikely, but I found quite some time ago that if I can get myself to smile (all by myself and not necessarily a mirror) it makes a great difference in feeling better - even (dare I say?) good.

There are many analyses about why such self management approaches can turn things around in terms of our mood but it works for me.

Perhaps it's partly evidence to ourselves that we have some control over the dark forces that can overwhelm us. Perhaps it's a way of perceiving the underlying lift we start by feeling so much is lacking. Maybe there's even partly a "method acting" influence.

Assuming by an act of will, the outward signs of a given state seem to have a major effect in making it real. By actually penetrating to the part of ourselves which would ideally have been spontaneously expressing the smile. May sound complicated (and I return to the notion that exercising control over our emotional expressions is powerful all by itself), but I find it can make a real difference even when we're deep in the pits.

And FWIW this is NOT the same as smiling at someone else (even when we feel low) which however well-meaning, doesn't wave that same magic wand. Perhaps it's a gift to ourselves, creating the first step toward regaining hope.

Hoping very much this self-manipulation helps some of you, as it helps me. It may feel like your face will crack if you force it into that (at first, artificial) semi-circle. It seems to bring me genuine inner relief, though, through regaining a sense of control, however incomplete. It chips away at the despair which had been dictating our outlook (often without our even being aware it was there).

It's been ages since I created an entry on this site. It's been ages since I experienced my first depressive episode. I was 12 and now I'm 71. It's been ages since I was actually diagnosed with a bunch of psychiatric codes. It's been ages since I thought there would be a cure. It's been ages since Treatment Resistant Depression emerged.

Its been ages...

Now I see a psychiatrist specializing in geriatric patients.

I don't have ages left.

I've been searching for a document I wrote. 25 years ago I wrote and signed a contract between God and me. It's an Unsuicide Note my therapist witnessed. I promised not to kill myself. I enumerated the reasons why I will not kill myself.

I shared my precious promise with people in this group. I'd really like to locate that document. I'd appreciate help in finding my contract.

It's been ages since I read it. It's time to read it again and renew my promise that I will not kill myself.

@audriana
Guess what? I had my first episode of depression when I was 12, and now I am 72! Because mental illness was not diagnosed or treated well while I was growing up ("pull yourself together!"), I was not finally diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and treated until I was in my 40s.
In the years since, I have had ups and downs, but I have had the support of a psychiatrist and a psychologist, and have discovered that many of the "triggers" for my depressive episods go way back to childhood experiences. Talking things over with professionals has been a tremendous help in nipping depression in the bud and giving me the tools to deal with it. One thing you mention is a document you wrote 25 years ago. I hope you find it. I would just like to say that I have found it very helpful to write letters to myself. I have written a letter "from the well Ellen" describing the early stages of depression, and telling me to pick up the phone and make an appointment with my psychiatrist. I keep it in my underwear drawer (!) so I see it frequently, it helps me recognize when I am stating to get unwell, and lists all the things I can do to help myself (including keeping in touch with professionals). Your list would probably not look like mine, as we are all different, but it is a way of keeping in control.
In February this year several awful things happened in my life, and in a fit of hysteria one night I took an overdose of pills and was taken to hospital. Obviously I survived, but I was also
confronted by the horrified, distressing effect the whole episode had on my four children in their 30s. They felt as if I was deserting them, and that they were not important enough in my life. I still feel terrible about what I did, but the episode has taught me that suicide is not an option because we are depressed; we have to think of our famiies and friends and the effect our actions would have on them. Yes, write that
Unsuicide Note, and leave it somewhere you will see it every day. And if things are getting on top of you, pick up that phone and make an appointment to speak to your therapist. I write with empathy and understanding. Hoping things go well with you, @ellu

Hi, @audriana - welcome back! It sounds as though your Unsuicide Note you mentioned is very valuable to you and includes some important reasons about why you were promising not to kill yourself 25 years ago.

If you click on your Connect username (at the top of any of your posts, in blue text), you will find partway down your profile page your previous comments you've made and discussions you've started. Clicking on both of these will reveal any posts you've ever made on Connect.

What has piqued your interest in reading your Unsuicide Note again and renewing your promise?

@lisalucier
On May 7th, 2026, my husband was the prey of a cyber criminal predator who wiped us out financially through a social engineering scheme.
My doctor referred us to adult services. The social workers wanted to make sure we weren't going to take the route of the victim in the movie The Beekeeper.

The cyber criminal predators may have wiped us out monetarily because they are social deviants--sociopaths. They wouldn't give a shit if we killed ourselves. But they are persistent. Every time I feel as though we're healing, they rear their ugly revolting evil presence and tear off our proverbial scabs.

Finding my Unsuicide Note is important to me because I want to formally renew it. I know God doesn't need it. I do. It's symbolic of my success. Acknowledging something positive about myself is a milestone. At my age, there aren't too many milestones to look forward to. Anyway...

25 years
2 1/2 decades
A quarter of a century has passed and I have not attempted to kill myself.

I have friends who insist I have another quarter of a century--It's feasible. I'd be 101 and that's because they predicted 30 more years as an adjunct instructor teaching Composition and Rhetoric. I'd have my walker's basket overflowing with my teaching materials and my students' projects.

I want to find my Unsuicide Note because...

It's been ages.
The document is validation that my desire to live is stronger than my desire to die.
No one--no miscreants will push me over the edge.

And yes! I am angry. I'd be crazy if I wasn't.
My warped sense of humor is invigorating. My Unsuicide Note reflected a little dry wit...better than a half wit.

I have tried to kill myself more times than I can count. I’ve been in therapy, on and off, for over 20 years due to my childhood trauma plus I’m an alcoholic who now has been in recovery for over 37 years. In 1996 I moved to Tampa fl away from my awesome therapist in Tallahassee that had helped me so much!! She kept pushing me to find a therapist in Tampa and finally I found one taking new clients. After several years with her and my continuing to cut myself she wrote a contract that never ends for me to sign and live by. It was a very strong contract!! In 2008 I had to move back to Tallahassee. I’ve stayed in contact with her since and when necessary she reminds me of my contract and that it will never end. So when I get really depressed I read it again. The other things I do when I get really depressed I listen to worship music on pandora, I write in my journal and I call my support people in my life. I am in efexor with has really helped me prescribed by my psychiatrist who is a DO and he teaches me CBT techniques to help me.

I know this is a long post and I apologize for that but depression is a long term thing to deal with.

I will make myself do things whether I want to or not. The key is to do things.

I hope this post and the ones I read help you. God bless you.