Talking Frankly about Living with Advanced Cancer

to @alanr Please forgive me for maligning wonderful husbands, which mine is one of. Learning understanding and respect for each other can be difficult in normal times and I hope what I am living now Never becomes normal times. We all love and appreciate our caregivers whoever they maybe and it probably bothers him a lot that this third time he has not been able to be my caregiver. I was just starting chemo again when he had a horrific accident on his ATV and broke a hip and his pelvis in 3 places but I tried the best I could to take good care of him when he came home. I did have to break down and accept help for his sake, I didn't want him to see how hard it was for me when taking care of him was the least I could do. Months later and we are both still in pain and just plain tired but he works so hard and plays hard because it gives him joy. Thanks for reminding me to be thankful above all.

Forgive us husbands with "mean and spirited" tongues. I often am part of that grouping. It must be an abnormal gene that many of us were handed and have not learned to control it. At the end of the day when we are composed and are organizing our thoughts and considering our blessings we give our thanks, though many times not verbally expressed, to those we have often offended. It is so ignorant of us to emotionally hurt those we love. You are loved and admired, especially for your forgiveness, for your struggles I feel that your hubby many times harbors remorse for his actions. He loves you.

Well done with the vacuuming. Not a nice job but so satisfying afterwards. Do you write a to do list - keeping it realistic of course - but good to tick things off. It's the simple things ...

Has started snowing supposed to get 6 in. but surprisingly I am in a good mood! got 3 GOOD hours of sleep ! so I am ambitious ...if I get half of my list done I will be satisfied. Does anyone here have that same problem? Even after all these years in my brain I am still healthy and I can breathe...so I make plans and get all excited and then reality sets in...
I am tired and panting on only my second time down the stairs to the basement. My back is killing from vaccumimg...reality can be a bummer sometimes. But today I am going to try to keep pushing thru, I feel so good when I can get stuff done!!!!!
That is important in our battle with cancer...no matter what kind...keep pushing thru...take breaks, give into the pain sometimes but then keep on going. I have found that it is the sitting and doing nothing may help my back but it wreaks havoc with my depression. I feel so worthless most of the time and my husband can have a sharp and mean spirited toungue sometimes. I don't think he means to most of the time but he gets frustrated also. He has had to deal with being told to "prepare" himself more than once that's for sure.
oohhh! shake that off and back to work !!! Keep pushing thru !!!!!

Dearest @allisonsnow, It sounds like a great night! Hope you wake in good time for church, too. If not, don't worry, look at it som a present from the above for all your pain. Continue enjoying the life we have. Take care, sweet Allison❤️

well I did have a good day even with all the pain I am suffering. As cold as it was I still went out! Went out with a couple guys I sold real estate with several years ago. I love those guys ....about 6 words about health and then we sat there another 2 hours just talking about "stuff" and "nothing"....It was great!
It is 2 o'clock I should start to think about going to bed. If I stay up much later I will over sleep and miss church. I hope all of you and this great support system had a great day!!!!! We are expecting more snow tomorrow. YUCK

You are right, @juliemangione

The unknowns of cancer do keep us all in suspense. When you feel like a "walking Time Bomb" as you said in your post, what do you do to calm yourself?

Teresa

Very inspirational! I love your saying " I'm going to die from cancer but it ain't going to kill me." I like to say that I'm living with cancer instead of saying I'm dying from cancer. A good book I read years ago was it's Always Something by Gilda Radner.

I was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer a year ago and I also have the BRCA gene mutation, so I feel your pain. I am 60 years old and I feel like I am a walking Time Bomb just waiting to explode. Although I feel great today I always wonder what tomorrow will bring. Cancer does suck!

@nogginquest Keep doing what you love for as long as you can do it. Stay strong for all those people you have touched. For me Cancer is a ONE day journey. Every day I wake up is a new day and a new chance at doing what I love to do. Some days I can do it.....some days I let slip by to regain the strength for the next day. No matter what happens I get to live one more day and feel so happy about it. I have lived with one motto since my cancer metastasized 5 years ago and it is this. " I'll probably die from cancer, but it ain't gonna kill me". Every day I get is a good day and I can find a positive in the day no matter what the news is around me. I've not worked in almost 2 years but when I did work I did not work because I loved what I did. I did it for the paycheck but I really did not enjoy my job. Now that I am away from my job I feel like I've been released to go have some fun and to really do a few things I love to do. I'll keep making plans for future days no matter what my diagnosis is. Yes, cancer does suck. But what sucks worse is letting Cancer dictate what you do today. Go out and make every day a great day no matter what the Cancer does.