Talking Frankly about Living with Advanced Cancer

We do it all. Meet with patients, work with them on the phone or face time, public speak at cancer clinics, churches and businesses. My qualification came form my life experience. Stage 4 survivor.

We do it all. Meet with patients, work with them on the phone or face time, public speak at cancer clinics, churches and businesses. My qualification came form my life experience. Stage 4 survivor.

I like your thinking @kathleenkin - We have thought this way, but admit to dropping the ball lately. Time to pick up the celebrations. I really love your last line, I'm jotting that one down. "Do not give one minute to cancer, it isn't worthy of your time. Blessings to you as well and thank you for taking your time to help.

@kathleenkin Love your strength and wisdom. God bless!

I know for a fact that my cancer will spread. It has already invaded my remaining lung. I don’t worry about it. I can’t change it. I know it’s going to happen. I just don’t know when it’s going to happen but that’s not going to prevent me from enjoying each and every day. Life is a precious gift. I’m not going to spend one minute of one day worrying about when it’s going to happen. Right now it’s a beautiful day outside. It’s foggy which makes all the Christmas lights beautiful. It will probably snow later on and I’m excited about that. Later on I’m gonna go make some cookies for my neighbors and take a walk with my dog. I have a very blessed life. God will take me home when the time is right. He has a timeline for everyone we can’t change that. The best thing we can do is to live each moment of our life and try to bless other people as well. God bless you and enjoy today.

Please do write it down. At least you will have it. Stressing over tests and appointments is natural. Make it a day of celebration. After your appointment do something fun. Go to lunch. Buy something you have always wanted or do a random act of kindness. Go full force joy mode! Do not give one minute to cancer, it isn’t worthy of your time. Be blessed.

Since we're sharing pups...here is my Napa (on right) and our daughter's Stella on left from last evening. Both Lab rescues. Definitely bffs (best furry friends) for sure!

On the topic of life/marriage/getting on after the loss of our loved one, I can only relate my personal experience on this.

Before my wife was diagnosed we never discussed the topic of my marrying anyone else. We were married to each other, I coveted no other, and I had no desire to move on then. Similarly when she was ill I viewed our marriage the same way -- I treasured every day we had together and I had no interest or desire to end it prematurely by discussing what I should do about another marriage after my wife died. Nope. I was married and that was all I wanted to concentrate on -- the time we had left. I knew it would end too soon as it was and I viewed any conversation on another marriage as encroaching on the precious time we had left to focus on each other.

Just my view as a guy.

@hannahkeels

What a remarkable story about how you and your fiance met. What a great picture of the two of you!

I'm interested in knowing what led you to be a cancer coach. What type of background do you have to do this kind of work? Do you meet with support groups or talk with people one-on-one?

I am a stage 4 end of the life cancer survivor. I coach cancer patients and their families now, and that is how I met my fiance ( stage 4 breast cancer thriver). We talk about nobody has a guarantee of how long they will be on this planet. We get the most out of each day no matter what. Can you love, laugh, smile, cry and help others even while going through treatment? We know it's possible. We do it every day and thank God for every breath. Hugs and prayers to all of my people brought into this cancer world with us. You are not alone!!!

Thank you @kathleenkin - I won't give up. I'm wired to fight this battle as it sounds like you are too! I admire your faith and resiliency with the physical effects and the unknown future. It must bring a sense of closure knowing your son and his wife know your wishes so now you can just live the day at hand. I agree, the hardest part is leaving those we love behind. I will try to find another time to talk with my husband. Right now, we're blessed. Although I have several side effects, they dont hamper my everyday living with a few adjustments and I "look" 😉 pretty healthy. Maybe he's just not ready for these conversations. Sometimes, I feel like I'm not either. But I'll continue to be open and honest. Maybe I need to just write it out and save it to get it off my chest. I SO appreciate your prayers for peace and joy without fear. My next CT scans are in Jan. and I know I tend to get a little anxious thinking life could change again on a dime. BUT, we've got today! I never want to trade the possibility of a wonderful day for worries about another!! Thank you so much and best wishes to you as well. We'll keep fighting the good fight!!