Supporting mental health for my daughter

Hello,
My daughter was 14 when I left the area where her unsupportive Father lived. I wanted to start a new life for both of us. He had nothing to do with her. He got remarried to a lady who had two children and that was his new life. Upon divorce he took custody of the home and I took sole, legal and physical custody of our daughter. I later found out that he was using drugs and we moved 100 miles away. Once our daughter was 18 her father and his new wife had separated and he began coming to our new location to see her. He and his family poisoned her mind against me ( her mother ). My only advice would be to try very hard to co-parent so that it does not go in the wrong direction. My daughter is now 30 and has nothing to do with me and will not allow me to see my grandchildren as my punishment. This has had a lasting effect on my daughter and our relationship. It is so heartbreaking. I never spoke ill of her father and her presence nor did I speak of any good times because there weren't any. I made a lot of excuses for him and was not honest with my daughter. I thought I was protecting her heart by making excuses and she found out the truth. I sure wish I had time to do it all over again. She is very angry at me for lying to her. I hope and pray that one day we can reconcile our differences but have come to peace with it in my heart.

Hi, thanks. My Daughter is 20 and has her own flat, no co parenting involved. He is not in her life and she has no wish to change that.
He is therefore not any support for her.
I want to leave the area, she does not,
I’m looking at ways to support her from the other side of the country.

Perhaps some trials of going a few weekends and then a week at a time without contact Would help you better estimate how she would do without you. Just a thought. You could also ask her doctor and helpers if they thought she was capable of living independently from you.

Ok, thanks.
I’m sure I’m making myself clear. She had a flat, she is independent.
She lives alone.
I just wondered if anyone had experience of living quite some distance from
There adult child that had recurring mental health problems. And supporting them from afar. She is quite used to me not being around for 2 weeks, I’ve been on holiday before.

It is important to look after you own needs as it is common to see parents lose their identity when giving out to an adult child constantly.
You will be able to experience more balance, joy and fulfilment in your own life. This will teach your daughter the importance of self care and how to live a healthy life.
Keep reaching out to encourage your daughter and bit by bit she will become more independent.