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Does anyone else have severe spine pain, and chronic depression?

Posted by minneapolis123 @minneapolis123, Jun 16, 2023

After being filtered out of any help from Mayo Clinic Rochester on Tuesday because they are out of network and this is regarding a very painful complicated 3 level spinal fusion problem I have decided that the combination of chronic depression plus severe spine pain that life is no longer worth it and I want out. What is the point of calling the National Suicide Prevention because they DO NOT have services to back it up anyway? They will just call local law enforcement. Since I do not own a gun and would not have the balls to shoot myself if I did. But I do have a stockpile of medications that is the route I may go and it has taken many years to get where I am now: Medications, ECT, TMS, Spavato. I will wonder at least for a while that if I had moved to Rochester MN if my Medicare Insurance would have been accepted as a resident. Severe Grief, loss, pain so bad it is difficult to walk, forget I'm out.

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Mentor
Jennifer, Volunteer Mentor | @jenniferhunter | Jun 19, 2023
In reply to @minneapolis123 "Hello Ginger,   Thank you for caring it means a lot. I will reach out to the..." + (show)
@minneapolis123

Hello Ginger,   Thank you for caring it means a lot. I will reach out to the Seattle Spine Institute today and asked if they could at least review all the images of my spine and give me an independent recommendation on what the choices to do are. I have seen a pain specialists at Swedish Pain Clinic here in Seattle and he recommended a spinal cord stimulator or at least try it for a week before a battery is implanted. I saw a Physiatrist last week and he recommended an opioid patch that is applied once a week, but he did not mention anything about tolerance, which is a concern. I know I need to be proactive but the severe depression from physical pain, grief and loss severely affects my motivation to even start the day. I really need to focus on the things in life that I am blessed to have and somehow stop ruminating about things that I cannot change.
Thanks, 
John J

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@minneapolis123 The grief from loss actually does cause physical pain. I am going through it too right now, but for a different reason. I am a spine surgical patient and I get muscle spasms in my neck, and these last couple days that has been awful pain and muscular headaches and the spasms are moving my vertebrae and straightening the curve in my neck. This morning, I just found this article about heartache and grief and this really applies to any type of loss. Grief causes our stress hormone, Cortisol, to shoot through the roof and that causes our symptoms and increases muscle contractions. This may help you process the feelings and understand why.
https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-ease-the-pain-of-grief-following-a-romantic-breakup
It turns out one of the best things we can do is take a walk in nature and distract ourselves from the grief. Also taking steps to solve the problem like you are doing by contacting a spine doctor in Seattle should help you feel like you've done something productive. I know that helps me. Spine problems are hard to deal with anyway and the recovery from spine surgery is long. I went through a similar situation of being rejected by 5 surgeons who would not help me because they didn't understand my case. That was 2 years of searching for help and at the time I was care giving for my dad at end stage heart disease. Those were very hard years. Take it one day at a time in baby steps. At that time I adopted a silly cat from a shelter. He is right next to me right now as I write this.

You are absolutely right that gratitude will help you get through this. You will find a new path to recovery and learn some things along the way. Keep asking yourself questions like that about how you CAN do this and recover. Pain does not need to control what you think about. You can always use visual imagery in your mind to imagine you are somewhere else doing something that you love to do, even just simple pleasures. I am sorry I missed your posts up until now. I was dealing with an urgent situation that is the source of my grief today. I will get through it and I am going out to take a walk.

God bless.

Jennifer

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