Does anyone else have severe spine pain, and chronic depression?

Posted by minneapolis123 @minneapolis123, Jun 16, 2023

After being filtered out of any help from Mayo Clinic Rochester on Tuesday because they are out of network and this is regarding a very painful complicated 3 level spinal fusion problem I have decided that the combination of chronic depression plus severe spine pain that life is no longer worth it and I want out. What is the point of calling the National Suicide Prevention because they DO NOT have services to back it up anyway? They will just call local law enforcement. Since I do not own a gun and would not have the balls to shoot myself if I did. But I do have a stockpile of medications that is the route I may go and it has taken many years to get where I am now: Medications, ECT, TMS, Spavato. I will wonder at least for a while that if I had moved to Rochester MN if my Medicare Insurance would have been accepted as a resident. Severe Grief, loss, pain so bad it is difficult to walk, forget I'm out.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Spine Health Support Group.

@minneapolis123, I know are between a rock and hard place but please don't give up. Have you looked into another location that is part of the Mayo Clinic Care Network? Hospitals and locations in the Mayo Clinic Care Network have access to the collective knowledge of Mayo Clinic and can consult and collaborate with experts at Mayo Clinic locations to improve patient outcomes. Here is more information on the Mayo Clinic Care Network and if you click the Network members link you can see if any of the locations may be a possibility for getting help with your spine pain - https://www.mayoclinic.org/about-mayo-clinic/care-network/more-care-close-to-home.

Can you check to see if one of the Care Network locations might be able to help you?

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@minneapolis123

I’m sitting at my dining room table with a cup of coffee. I’m listening and you will be heard. What would you like to share with me?

@johnbishop has some good suggestions for working with the Mayo Clinic Care Network. I live near Green Bay, WI and I found out that if I see a provider at one of those clinics they collaborate with the providers in Rochester where the Mayo Clinic providers can see all of my medical records.

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@minneapolis123 Just a brief note to say hope you get the help you need. I cannot and shouldn't comment as am just another human, Senior, with similar view of my situation. Sometimes the medical issues, and especially when no resolution in sight, can make me feel: I do not want to die but I do not want to continue living like this when quality of life is so affected and daily suffering physically/mentally. You are not alone feeling this way .. pain is pain... some of us have help to get through it others don't and how they cope amazes me... but I am not that "strong." Take care (hugs) J.

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@minneapolis123 Dang, you certainly are in a pickle, right? [okay, I am old enough to remember, but I don't know if you are!] When we are in pain, whether it is physical, emotional, or mental, our whole world takes on a different look. To read that you would consider "stepping out" would be so sad for family and friends to come to grips with. They would be left wondering what they could have done differently, how they might have helped you.

Who in your circle have you reached out to? You have been a member here on Connect for about 4 years, and I'll bet you have read many posts. Getting assistance when we are in pain, we sometimes get a clouded view because we are hurting. I know for me, it is difficult to see clearly how things might get better. I sometimes focus on the negative, and don't see there might be another path, one that might take some work and time, but will offer me a solution.

Are you still in the Seattle area? The University of Washington has a great spine/orthopedic center https://www.uwmedicine.org/specialties/spine-care
Also, there is the Seattle Spine Institute https://www.seattlespineinstitute.com/

Having constant pain can be really debilitating, we all know that. You owe it to yourself, and your family and friends, to seek out help. Will you keep in contact with me, please?
Ginger

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@gingerw

@minneapolis123 Dang, you certainly are in a pickle, right? [okay, I am old enough to remember, but I don't know if you are!] When we are in pain, whether it is physical, emotional, or mental, our whole world takes on a different look. To read that you would consider "stepping out" would be so sad for family and friends to come to grips with. They would be left wondering what they could have done differently, how they might have helped you.

Who in your circle have you reached out to? You have been a member here on Connect for about 4 years, and I'll bet you have read many posts. Getting assistance when we are in pain, we sometimes get a clouded view because we are hurting. I know for me, it is difficult to see clearly how things might get better. I sometimes focus on the negative, and don't see there might be another path, one that might take some work and time, but will offer me a solution.

Are you still in the Seattle area? The University of Washington has a great spine/orthopedic center https://www.uwmedicine.org/specialties/spine-care
Also, there is the Seattle Spine Institute https://www.seattlespineinstitute.com/

Having constant pain can be really debilitating, we all know that. You owe it to yourself, and your family and friends, to seek out help. Will you keep in contact with me, please?
Ginger

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Hello Ginger,   Thank you for caring it means a lot. I will reach out to the Seattle Spine Institute today and asked if they could at least review all the images of my spine and give me an independent recommendation on what the choices to do are. I have seen a pain specialists at Swedish Pain Clinic here in Seattle and he recommended a spinal cord stimulator or at least try it for a week before a battery is implanted. I saw a Physiatrist last week and he recommended an opioid patch that is applied once a week, but he did not mention anything about tolerance, which is a concern. I know I need to be proactive but the severe depression from physical pain, grief and loss severely affects my motivation to even start the day. I really need to focus on the things in life that I am blessed to have and somehow stop ruminating about things that I cannot change.
Thanks, 
John J

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@minneapolis123

Hello Ginger,   Thank you for caring it means a lot. I will reach out to the Seattle Spine Institute today and asked if they could at least review all the images of my spine and give me an independent recommendation on what the choices to do are. I have seen a pain specialists at Swedish Pain Clinic here in Seattle and he recommended a spinal cord stimulator or at least try it for a week before a battery is implanted. I saw a Physiatrist last week and he recommended an opioid patch that is applied once a week, but he did not mention anything about tolerance, which is a concern. I know I need to be proactive but the severe depression from physical pain, grief and loss severely affects my motivation to even start the day. I really need to focus on the things in life that I am blessed to have and somehow stop ruminating about things that I cannot change.
Thanks, 
John J

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@minneapolis123 John, I will be curious what the Spine Institute may tell you! It is almost always a good thing to have more than one opinion when facing something profound. Hearing different approaches to the issue, you can make an educated decision. Ask your questions! And don't settle for an answer that doesn't feel complete. One thing that many of us do is use "Dr. Google", which can lead us down a rabbit hole of misinformation.

Chronic pain can really mess with our body, and our heads. When we take a step back and look at it all, often we will see little things that we can address. Knowing you are going to call Seattle Spine is a step in the right direction! Maybe they cannot offer you a solution, but they may be able to point you in another direction, to a place where you can research further. And maybe they will be able to offer you assistance.

Motivation when you don't feel good can be a stumbling block. Trying just a little thing will help, and you will be looking forward to doing something else. Trust me, I know this all too well!
Ginger

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@gingerw

@minneapolis123 John, I will be curious what the Spine Institute may tell you! It is almost always a good thing to have more than one opinion when facing something profound. Hearing different approaches to the issue, you can make an educated decision. Ask your questions! And don't settle for an answer that doesn't feel complete. One thing that many of us do is use "Dr. Google", which can lead us down a rabbit hole of misinformation.

Chronic pain can really mess with our body, and our heads. When we take a step back and look at it all, often we will see little things that we can address. Knowing you are going to call Seattle Spine is a step in the right direction! Maybe they cannot offer you a solution, but they may be able to point you in another direction, to a place where you can research further. And maybe they will be able to offer you assistance.

Motivation when you don't feel good can be a stumbling block. Trying just a little thing will help, and you will be looking forward to doing something else. Trust me, I know this all too well!
Ginger

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I appreciate everything that you have said and I completely agree. My Oncologist told me a couple of years ago that if I have any questions regarding my Smoldering Myeloma do not try to find any answers on the internet for the exact reasons you have mentioned. I have had Smoldering Myeloma for just over 5 years now and at my last 6 month check up which was last week there still was no progression towards MM and I am grateful. My red and white blood cells are not normal especially the white blood cell count but the M protein has not increased and is stable.    I will let you know what the Seattle Spine Institute has to say.
Have a good evening,
John J

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@minneapolis123

I appreciate everything that you have said and I completely agree. My Oncologist told me a couple of years ago that if I have any questions regarding my Smoldering Myeloma do not try to find any answers on the internet for the exact reasons you have mentioned. I have had Smoldering Myeloma for just over 5 years now and at my last 6 month check up which was last week there still was no progression towards MM and I am grateful. My red and white blood cells are not normal especially the white blood cell count but the M protein has not increased and is stable.    I will let you know what the Seattle Spine Institute has to say.
Have a good evening,
John J

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@minneapolis123 Your oncologist may be familiar with someone at the Spine Institute to have you check with. Are you a patient at Fred Hutch Cancer Center? I know a couple other people who go there.

It's a small world. I have active multiple myeloma. Being 5 years into your SMM journey, you are beating the curve! Here is what the Int'l Myeloma Foundstion has to say about progression of SMM into MM:
"Ten-percent (10%) per year for the first five years
Three-percent (3%) per year for the next five years
One to two-percent (1-2%) per year for the next 10 years.
The standard of care for SMM is not to treat the patient but to "watch and wait." "

Being the over-achiever that I am, I went from MGUS to SMM to active MM in 24 months! Add to that a long-distance move changing residence, and major progression of my chronic kidney disease [not related to MM], and it set me up for depression and set me back on my heels. Thank the heavens for a dear friend who guided me to my oncologist, a stellar nephrologist who has my case, and this Mayo Clinic Connect forum for helping me stay sane.

We are here to support and assist each other. What works for one may not be of complete benefit to another, But being able to share our experiences and offer a suggestion is simply so cool and can be so comforting. Don't you agree?
Ginger

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I feel your grief. I am bipolar and have had many suicidal attempts. I have overdosed more than I can count on both hands. I’m still here. I also have neuropathy and can no longer work. I lost everything after losing my job. I know it’s hard but please be strong. Since you have Medicare you have access for help. Prayers to you.

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@minneapolis123

I appreciate everything that you have said and I completely agree. My Oncologist told me a couple of years ago that if I have any questions regarding my Smoldering Myeloma do not try to find any answers on the internet for the exact reasons you have mentioned. I have had Smoldering Myeloma for just over 5 years now and at my last 6 month check up which was last week there still was no progression towards MM and I am grateful. My red and white blood cells are not normal especially the white blood cell count but the M protein has not increased and is stable.    I will let you know what the Seattle Spine Institute has to say.
Have a good evening,
John J

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Hello @minneapolis123. So many seasoned members have joined you to share what I can easily say collectively we all felt while reading your first post. Living with chronic pain often results in depression and feeling like you've hit a wall when it comes to what your options are going forward. I am happy to read the thoughts of @johnbishop @gingerw and @naturegirl5 really is a great reminder of why connecting with others during times of grief and despair can be so powerful.

You will notice I have included your post in the Spine Health Support Group as well as updated the title to bring in more members who may be able to share their experiences with you to address your severe spine pain.

We are all eagerly waiting to hear more about your call with the Seattle Spine Institute. Did you reach anyone over the weekend or this morning?

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