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secaries
@secaries

Posts: 3
Joined: Jan 11, 2017

Sudden personality change in my grandfather

Posted by @secaries, Jan 10, 2017

Hello,
My grandpa has been developing some sudden personality changes. For background, he is 82, 6’4, 200 some odd lbs, and has diabetes. For the past few months, he has descended into a foul mood. He used to nr really nice, and a good guy. He has now become angry, controlling, and paranoid. He has fallen on several occasions, but refuses to use his walker or a wheelchair. If you try to get him to use his walker, or the new bathroom they had built for him, he gets mad and refuses because “I’m not a damn cripple.” He’s becoming irrationally angry over very small things. He’s also becoming controlling of my 81 year old grandma, and even went so far as to suggest that she was having an affair with her sisters husband. This was a kind, sweet, and gentle man for all of my life, and according to my dad growing up. This has all come on over the past few months, and has been getting worse over the past week. Does anyone have any ideas? My dad and I think it might be early stages of dementia.

Liked by lindacrow

REPLY

Welcome to Connect, @secaries.
How frightening this must be for your family. I’m tagging @IndianaScott @nanax2 @rmftucker @sallysue @tavi @kateia and @marilee to get their insights. We’re not experts, but your grandfather’s change in personality does sound like similar to other caregiver’s experiences with people who have dementia. You may be interested in reading and joining these discussions:

– Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer’s http://mayocl.in/2ccA0jO
– Dementia Anger Issues – bathing http://mayocl.in/2g0Urkt

Secaries, has your grandfather noticed his changes in attitude? Does he return to his gentle self periodically?

My heartfelt support to you, @secaries for reaching out to try to find out more about what is happening with your Grandfather. First and foremost, please remember that whatever is happening to your grandfather, it is his disease that is is causing him to change and not the Grandfather that you know to be kind, sweet and gentle. My husband is about your Grandfather’s age and was diagnosed with dementia approximately three years ago. We have been challenged time and again with changes in his behavior – including anger, hallucinations, and, similarly, his belief that I planned to leave him to be with a friend of his. The path has been immensely confusing for me but always more so for my husband as he tries to navigate in his changing world — I encourage you and your family to reach out and don’t be shy about asking questions — we’ve all had many experiences and I know that it helps me to be able to share and reflect on what has happened to my husband with others in this forum. There is much to understand and deal with — it takes great energy and everyone here has provided me with good support as these changes have occurred in our lives. A specific question I would be asking with regard to your grandfather are the medications that he is taking and how effective they may be in helping him with his behaviors. For right now, we’ve finally identified a good mix for my husband but in the course of getting here there have been some meds and/or combinations that effected him poorly, causing hallucinations and/or not addressing some of the underlying issues. I welcome you to participate with us, freely ask questions and do wish you the very best with your grandfather.

@colleenyoung

Welcome to Connect, @secaries.
How frightening this must be for your family. I’m tagging @IndianaScott @nanax2 @rmftucker @sallysue @tavi @kateia and @marilee to get their insights. We’re not experts, but your grandfather’s change in personality does sound like similar to other caregiver’s experiences with people who have dementia. You may be interested in reading and joining these discussions:

– Caring for someone with dementia / Alzheimer’s http://mayocl.in/2ccA0jO
– Dementia Anger Issues – bathing http://mayocl.in/2g0Urkt

Secaries, has your grandfather noticed his changes in attitude? Does he return to his gentle self periodically?

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I’m unsure as to if he has noticed the changes, but sometimes he’s fine, and other times he devolves into an angry paranoid man. It’s getting concerning now, seeing as it’s becoming more frequent. The problem is, we know it’s not him in there, so to speak, but it’s unlikely we would be able to get him to a doctor because he’s pretty stubborn, even without the recent issues. It’s even more difficult because my parents and I live 2 hours southeast of them.

I don’t know all of what he’s taking, but insulin for the diabetes for sure. He’s had it for over 20 years I think, but he manages it well. I also think some if the anger is due to the fact he knows his body is wearing down. He was a big athlete in high school, and played every sport available at the time, and set school records in pretty much all of them. He also went into the army in the 50s and was stationed in Germany as an armored personnel carrier driver. In the past few years he’s had to give up a lot of things, like driving, woodworking, and deer hunting. I think stopping hunting bothered him the most. The diabetes makes it difficult for him to pick his feet up, making it almost impossible to get to his blind on foot. Due to this, he bought a 4-wheeler and drove it sidesaddle so he could still hunt. Unfortunately he had to stop a few years ago. And yes, we know it’s not really him, but some sort of illness that’s doing all of this. We don’t know how to get him to go to a doctor to get looked at, cuz even when he was all good, he was pretty stubborn. He would probably refuse to go due to thinking he’s fine. I will say he still remembers to feed the birds every day. They live in the middle of nowhere in northern Michigan, so lots of songbirds are around, and every morning he spreads seeds all over the deck for them

@tavi

My heartfelt support to you, @secaries for reaching out to try to find out more about what is happening with your Grandfather. First and foremost, please remember that whatever is happening to your grandfather, it is his disease that is is causing him to change and not the Grandfather that you know to be kind, sweet and gentle. My husband is about your Grandfather’s age and was diagnosed with dementia approximately three years ago. We have been challenged time and again with changes in his behavior – including anger, hallucinations, and, similarly, his belief that I planned to leave him to be with a friend of his. The path has been immensely confusing for me but always more so for my husband as he tries to navigate in his changing world — I encourage you and your family to reach out and don’t be shy about asking questions — we’ve all had many experiences and I know that it helps me to be able to share and reflect on what has happened to my husband with others in this forum. There is much to understand and deal with — it takes great energy and everyone here has provided me with good support as these changes have occurred in our lives. A specific question I would be asking with regard to your grandfather are the medications that he is taking and how effective they may be in helping him with his behaviors. For right now, we’ve finally identified a good mix for my husband but in the course of getting here there have been some meds and/or combinations that effected him poorly, causing hallucinations and/or not addressing some of the underlying issues. I welcome you to participate with us, freely ask questions and do wish you the very best with your grandfather.

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Hi @secaries. I want to emphasize the good advice here from @tavi and urge you to pull your family together to jointly find ways to unravel the facts about your grandfather’s unhappiness. Most important is to figure out how to have a comprehensive discussion with him about his view of his current situation and his near-term future. Second, the family needs to have a list of medications that he is taking or being given every day, every week, and every year (since meds often get spread over long periods). The “medications” list should also include non-prescription products, such as nutritional supplements and those advertised as designed to treat or ameliorate a condition that the patient believes is affecting him. The list needs to be reviewed by a medical doctor. Third, persuade him to have a complete annual physical; in current practice, the costs are covered by Medicare for preventive examinations and treatments without question and without charges against Medicare supplemental insurance.

I’m past 80 myself and have had the sad experience of watching my dad, his only sibling, and his mother all descend into dementia and — after many many months of care — eventually drift away in their 80s to their final resting place. They always thanked us and apologized for being a burden to us — for being angry or subdued — until they no longer realized their plight.

Yes, seems like dementia.get him assessed then – what helped my Mom, Arecept and Namenda. Namenda can be a patch he doesn’t know he is wearing, like a round bandaide.
Do it quickly, – I swear by these meds – at 92 Mom was flirting w men at pools and smiled and went to lunch, and shopping and finally settled in to be more contented and accepting of her life.
I think Arecept rocks, to make people sharp. etc.

He might be depressed and a mild sedative might help. He needs to be seen by his dr. and your grandmother or father should visit with the dr. to tell him of their concerns. My 86 year-old husband exhibited some of the same symptoms and was finally put on Zoloft which made a great change in his attitude. Eventually he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease with vascular dementia and is on Aricept and Memantime which has helped his mobility. He should check with the Veteran’s Administration since many changes have been made in their medical care provisions for veterans. They no longer need to have service-related medical issues to be eligible. They have been a great help to us.

Best wishes to all of you.

Liked by johnhans

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