Sinking ship

Hi Katrina,
I'm so sorry this happened with your husband. However, having a brain disease he probably really didn't remember if you were married or not. I'm sure that bothers him terribly to realize he's not thinking clearly all the time. Don't feel hurt by it. Just take it as part of the disease that your poor husband has. The fact that you have been married for 58 years shows how much you both love each other. Rejoice in that. Not everyone is so lucky to have that in their lives.

My husband died of lung cancer a year ago. Towards the end of his life he exhibited some odd behavior. If I left the room he asked if I would come back. He worried constantly about being left alone. If I went to the store, when I came home he'd be standing in the window waving his arms all over. He was never that way before. My husband was a very active person who built beautiful things for our home, worked with electric tools, fixed anything that broke in our home or the neighbors. His cancer took all his strength and he could no longer do any of the things he used to do. That was very hard on him. Plus he had to have oxygen and nebulizers 24 hours a day just to be able to breathe. We were getting up 3 times a night because he would have severe breathlessness and needed to use his nebulizer which he couldn't manage alone. What helped us a lot was praying together every day and sometimes several times a day. My husband's kids from another marriage never came to see him even though they knew how sick he was. My husband said we were all alone. But I told him that isn't true. We've got God and Jesus and all the angels with us and we did. This helped us a lot until finally my husband went home to Heaven.
Katrina, just pray with your husband and ask for God's guidance. Remember the good times you two had and tell him how much you love him. Enjoy your time together. Too often it's gone sooner than you think.
I'll say a prayer for the both of you.
PML

It seems we all are! It gets harder and harder! You love them, but the demands outweigh the lack of sleep and overwheming feeling to make things better. Hugs to you all, and God bless. I have been doing this for so long .. Thank God for this site and for my wonderful cousins who always seem to know when to call.

@pml

Thank you for an incredibly beautiful account of enduring through Christ, the hardships of your husband’s illness. I have been caring for my father in my husband and i’s home for about five years now…..your account reminded me of the strength and blessing in sharing prayer time (wherever two or more are gathered in my name…)! Your account is inspiring and reminds me of all that is truly important. Thank you.

Hi Babbsjoy,
Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad I could help a little! That is so nice of you to take care of your father. It does state in the Bible to "honor thy Mother and Father" and you are! Prayer helps us so much! Even though my husband is no longer with me, I still continue to pray daily and my prayers get answered. I don't think I could get through life alone without God and Jesus and all the angels. We really need them these days with the world turning out so bad! But then, we've always needed them; even when life was pretty good.
I'll say a prayer for you and your husband and father.
I wish you the best.
PML

I could have written this. My husband has been going through Net since 2017. Lately things are worse, pain, anger, frustration. I am the one he takes it out on, not physically but yelling etc. We have been married 55 years . Everyone asks how he is, but no one asks how am I doing. I feel your pain and you are not alone.

How are you doing? I know that other's don't think about Caregivers and the amount of time we put in for our loved one is so tiring. It is hard that family ignores you as the Caregiver and how you are doing? One question would make a difference for that particular day at least. Hope everyone has a great day! 🫂

@sillyblone
I am sorry your feelings and well being as a caregiver are ignored! I know it must make you feel very unappreciated! But I know the Lord sees, appreciates. I’m preaching to myself here. We must hold on to that truth. As our care recipients are so often in their own struggle that they don’t notice or have the band width to appreciate or express appreciation. As friends and family who may even ask “how are YOU doing”—but don’t really want to hear or know the reality and struggles you are facing. It is a very lonely journey and I find my only hope is to rely on Jesus. In my situation, my husband is also a very significant support. But sometimes the sheer weight of responsibility feels so crushing, especially in the health facet of this thing with so many complicated things playing off each other in delicate and fragile balance. It’s easy for me to sink into thinking it’s all up to me. There is way more to this thing than I ever imagined could be!

Thank you. I have nice times with my spouse. He is stubborn and sometimes thinks he is fine .. when I know he's not. I try my best to not think about myself.. but not perfect. Our son keeps up with us both. Actually he recommend coming to pick up his Dad and have him stay for almost 3 weeks. He wanted us both to have some time of our own. I think he found out how hard it is to anticipate what can happen in a minutes notice. He did not fall at least. I missed him on week two. I would wake up and think how come I did not hear him. Of course reality set in. 🙄 🫂

I feel your pain. We are going through a similar thing. His appetite fluctuates and sometimes he thinks he is hungry but as soon as food is in front of him, he loses his appetite. I have a fridge full of leftovers and most of it eventually goes to the trash. I am happy when he does eat but it takes a lot of work to prepare bespoke meals on top of everything else. I am disabled but he is in worse shape so here we are. I go to happy hour with friends every Friday and I think that keeps me slightly sane.

No, your not going crazy. Your just living the stress of being a caregiver for a loved one. Such a job? In the normal course of events things are just supposed to progressively worse. No known cures. Treat the symptoms as best as possible and look out for what's gong to happen next. A good day is just when nothing else happens that's new. It is a job requiring a lot of discipline both in taking care of your loved one and yourself. Rest assured, your not alone. Thanks for posting your story