1. < Caregivers

Sinking ship

Posted by janiemae @janiemae, Apr 3 10:13am

I feel like my ship is sinking! I can’t do anything right. Everything I cook for my husband, he takes one bite and in the garbage it goes. Yesterday he wanted hashbrowns and two fried eggs…one bite and in the garbage. Mac and cheese in the garbage. Peaches in the garbage. I don’t say anything, but on to the next meal I stand at the stove wondering why I’m wasting my time. This morning I made him a little pancake and he requested pineapple….in the garbage.

Yesterday he was snappy at me. I walked away and tears rolled down my face. Normally, he would apologize. No apology.

Between him and other life stressors I’m gonna bounce off the walls. I was talked to about self care….hmmmm what exactly is that?

He says, what are we gonna do today and I say, “I don’t know”….he usually sits, watches TV, goes to sleep, same pattern different day.

He’s either freezing or too hot! Me….what day is it? We started this journey December 13, 2024. Some times I seriously don’t know what day or month it is….the other day I was thinking of Valentine’s Day and laughed to myself …. Christmas….everything is a fog…

Sorry, but I gotta let it out some people I’m sure have gone thru the same thing!

My phone rings constantly….How’s Ron doing? Then I realize that I didn’t even comb my hair today…..am I going crazy? 🤪

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Mentor
Scott, Volunteer Mentor | @IndianaScott | 5 days ago
In reply to @janiemae "My husband was suppose to have surgery today to remove the cancerous bicep, but he found..." + (show)
@janiemae

My husband was suppose to have surgery today to remove the cancerous bicep, but he found another tumor. He started Hospice last Friday. This whole week has been a whirlwind with Hospice workers coming and going and the phone ringing off the hook. I’m exhausted from not sleeping, wondering if I’m going to wake up to a deceased husband. I want my life back! Yesterday he had a really rough day, where it was hard to make sense out of what he was saying. He’s a little better today, but snapping at me. I don’t recognize this man looking back at me half the time.

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You srd on a difficult journey, for sure, @janiemae During my wife’s illness of almost a decade and s half, it helped me immeasurably to say to myself “She has the toughest part of this. She’s facing the end of her life everyday.”

This helped me to keep my irritation with my life in better perspective. It also
Powered me through many of the toughest days.

Strength, Courage, & Peace

REPLY
kayraymat | @kayraymat | 4 days ago
In reply to @where4 "It is a tough journey at times. You are allowed to take breaks for yourself. You..." + (show)
@where4

It is a tough journey at times. You are allowed to take breaks for yourself. You are an angel to him although he does not realize it all the time.

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Really, he is someone else right now, so don't take
it personally. Once he is gone, you will miss the
husband you married & forget the ill patient he
became. Ask your librarian & / or doctor
for some good books to read regarding your
situation as you are not alone or unique in your
suffering. Good luck. K

REPLY
1 reply
1995victoria | @1995victoria | 3 days ago
In reply to @kayraymat "Really, he is someone else right now, so don't take it personally. Once he is gone,..." + (show)
@kayraymat

Really, he is someone else right now, so don't take
it personally. Once he is gone, you will miss the
husband you married & forget the ill patient he
became. Ask your librarian & / or doctor
for some good books to read regarding your
situation as you are not alone or unique in your
suffering. Good luck. K

Jump to this post

In today's NYT there is a good article about dementia. Even without a subscription you can view ?10? articles a month. http://www.nytimes.com "the new old age section" subsection of Health

When They Don’t Recognize You Anymore
People with dementia often forget even close family members as the disease advances. “It can throw people into an existential crisis,” one expert said.

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