Sex post cystectomy

Posted by ljean63 @ljean63, Oct 11, 2023

My husband’s bladder cancer has progressed to muscle and now he needs a cystectomy.
We feel young and really enjoy intimacy. I’m so stressed knowing that it may be a thing of the past. I can’t imagine our life without it. Please don’t say I’m lucky he’s here . I know that, but this is a huge change, and I’m really sad. It’s also something that seems to get ignored by doctors.
Any advice ? I’m feeling very lonely as I don’t want to cause my husband any more stress by bringing this up.

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@ljean63 I am female and had a cystectomy nearly 18 years ago. I don’t remember that it had any impact on sexual intimacy at all. But I think the reason for the cystectomy and the person’s gender may be more important in considering what results to expect. My husband and I attend each other’s medical appointments so we know we’re on the same page and don’t forget any important information. Maybe you can bring this concern up at an appointment before the procedure?

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@cehunt57

@ljean63 I am female and had a cystectomy nearly 18 years ago. I don’t remember that it had any impact on sexual intimacy at all. But I think the reason for the cystectomy and the person’s gender may be more important in considering what results to expect. My husband and I attend each other’s medical appointments so we know we’re on the same page and don’t forget any important information. Maybe you can bring this concern up at an appointment before the procedure?

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Thanks, my husband and I have brought it up at many appointments. Unfortunately, it’s a huge thing for men who have bladders removed as nerves are usually damaged. It’s very devastating to many men and their spouses. We met with radiologist yesterday and he said that bladder retention is becoming a better option, using radiation and chemo. He said in the past, the numbers for success looked bad, but it was generally patients who weren’t candidates for surgery due to age and co morbidity. Now that younger , healthier people are choosing this route, the success numbers are going up. We are also trying to get into a bladder retention study that adds immunotherapy to the radiation and chemo.

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