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Severe Health Anxiety
Hello everyone,
New here. A little nervous and scared, but here we go, long story short, I just turned 49 a few weeks ago.
I’ve dealt with anxiety and panic attacks for as long as I’ve been alive – or so it seems – I remember being in kindergarten and having anxiety so bad.
it got to the point that I started misbehaving in school so I would not have to be in a classroom and face being called on to answer questions, or give reports, or do something on the chalkboard, etc.
Start of pandemic, I started having the first symptoms of high blood pressure.
The beginning of the pandemic was the worst time to start having symptoms of anything.
Of course I was blown off and told I was just “anxious“ until I arrived one day, bright red, dizzy, heart pounding in my ear, and my top number was over 160 and my bottom number was over 100. Can’t remember the exact number.
Needless to say, they gave me a pill on the spot, wrote me a prescription, and kept me there for nearly 2 hours to monitor me.
I became obsessed with taking my blood pressure at home.
But the cuffs were often inaccurate, or I was inaccurate with how I used them.
Probably a little bit of both TBH.
Now Whenever I see a blood pressure cuff I immediately freak out.
As they are taking the reading, I pray that everything will come out normal. I even make bargains “please God if you let this be normal I won’t do XYZABC.” Etc.
I don’t even want a bp machine in my house because I will became obsessive.
now that I’m older, this has created an obsession with trying to diagnose every ache & pain. thinking that I can find something early enough so I can prevent passing away from it for as long as possible.
This has made me hypersensitive to every sensation in my body & I become very obsessed with anything that is wrong with me. Just waiting for worst case scenarios.
I try to be proactive to the point that it’s not very healthy.
Sometimes aches and pains are just that.
Even though I can see the logic and the flaws, at the moment, it’s an all consuming fear and anxiety.
I don’t even know what I’m asking here lol
I guess I’m just trying to share how I’m feeling and seeing if anybody Can relate to this in anyway
and what you all do when this type of anxiety comes up and is mighty close to overwhelming you
If you made it this far, thank you so much. I really appreciate you
☀️
* I’ve been on various psychiatric drugs throughout my life, I currently have a 0.5 mg script for Klonopin to use “as needed” and Lamictal and Lexapro, but my doctor wants me to get something different. That is a little more friendly to blood pressure.
So we are reevaluating all of the medication stuff.
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4 Reactions@esikora I feel much the same. I have terrific health anxiety and have for decades. Over 60 now and it has gotten so much worse. I also fear death fear being alone fear sickness and not having enough finances. Just fear everything there seems to be no help coming from anyone that you have to deal with as far as the state the government Contractors, etc. and it just makes me spiral because it wasn’t like this when I was a little girl. It’s like there’s just no help and we know it. I am afraid to take meds. My talk therapy is not working. I wake up in panic every morning I have high blood pressure every time. I see a doctor or a dentist. I can’t find a real friend. I am just a mess and I just hope that death brings peace. I am so depressed about the way my life has become so is my husband it’s just a house of gloom. I wish I was never born. I don’t know why some of us had to suffer like this.
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1 Reaction@sandrajane The day I started to change my thinking was when I asked myself WHY was I doing this to myself because I knew that high blood pressure is a significant health risk in itself. I took on the challenge of learning to lower my blood pressure by listening to relaxing music and deep breathing and doing what I could to clear my mind of negative talk. I realized that I had choices in how I thought about things, and I could start to alter my own Self talk. I took my blood pressure before and after my music sessions and found I could lower it by 15 points.
I did have high anxiety and PTSD from experiences in early childhood onward. I took that apart piece by piece and learned from it. YES, it is possible to overcome disabling anxiety, but you can only do that if you believe that you CAN and start working on it. No one else can accomplish this other than yourself, and it is OK to ask for help and counseling.
What other things can you do to take control of your health?
I would just encourage anyone with medication anxiety to figure out a way to get the necessary meds taken. My cousin refused meds for hypertension and type 2 diabetes for years. She ended up with Vascular dementia at age 63. My mom refused Vitamin B12 supplements for years for her deficiency and now suffers from extreme neuropathy and is barely mobile.