Scary,strange,possibly"near death"symptoms:begging for some insight

Posted by giselleanne82 @giselleanne82, Sep 4, 2016

I woke to my husband making a rattling sound-struggling for air. His lips turning purple,stiff body-clenching his fists up by his head. Completely unconscious. I did CPR and he came to after 3-5minutes- having no recollection. He has asthma so I googled- it just seems his symptoms were much more severe- almost like he could have died if I hadn’t heard him when I did. What does it sound like he may have or had? What was that?!?

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@allisonsnow

Since this group was “Just want to talk” I need to just talk to some one. All my friends are at work and I don’t want to worry them. Most do not know about the return of my cancer anyway so hard to explain to them why I am so anxious and nervous. Next week go back to Dr. another PET/CT to see how they are acting. If there has been a lot of growth in the last 8 weeks we go to the next step. It is so hard just waiting it is driving me CRAZY this time, my husband doesn’t understand at all ! I get so irritated with him he will say things like “why don’t I just do……” whatever it is this time or why don’t I have ….done ?
I could scream !!!!!!! I am so tired of “being so strong” “looking so good” (translation= she must not really be that sick) But it is what is expected of me so I just do it. I feel I can’t let people down they depend on me, even people I don’t know hold me up as some shining example of how to handle it…….how do I let them know I am just falling apart inside? I don’t thats’ how.
I am not really looking for any advice I just needed to let it out somehow. I just need next week to be here knowing …one way or the other….is always better.

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@allisonsnow, We appreciate you, too. Thank you for sharing this inspiring message with us.
Enjoy that lunch with your grandson, too:-)
Rosemary

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@djankord1

It seems like a horrible nightmare to me. I just found out in March of this year that my back is full of cancer now. I keep thinking, I am only 54 and after finally divorcing my ******* husband, I found a man who genuinely cares about me and treats me like a queen. How can this be? What did I do to deserve this? But I know many of you are thinking the same thing. I have a 28-year-old son and a 26-year-old daughter. My daughter has a 6-year-old beautiful little girl. They all mean the world to me and I keep thinking that I hope they will be able to cope with life when I am not here to help them. I know they will, but I also know how nice it is to be able to call my mother and ask her opinion or her advice, or what went in that recipe. I just have to remember that I will be right beside them, even if they don’t realize it. I am hoping I have a few years left to be with them. Deb

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@djankord1 Hi Deb: Thank you for your beautifully written post. Yes, cancer is not a respecter of age, and that is totally unfair no matter how you look at it. Please keep sharing your thoughts and feelings with us at Mayo Connect. We are here to be a “listening ear” and you can vent and question all you need to and we will understand! Teresa

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