Rude Meeting With Surgeon Today

Posted by quickray @quickray, Mar 16, 2023

Completely disgusted by my surgeon’s attitude today. I met with him a second time to discuss my procedure and the state I’m in with my herniated disc. I shared with him the opinions I heard from two other surgeons on what I should do, one recommended fusion and another a disc replacement (in two areas instead of one).

He basically got defensive and asked why I’m seeing so many surgeons. He said I have doubts and my “heart is not in it” as I’m questioning the process.

Supposedly this guy is well respected but I honestly felt like getting up and walking out.

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If you live in central Oregon, I can recommend doctors in a variety of specialties. I'm seeing an excellent foot and ankle surgeon who's warm and caring, and always takes time to talk and listen. Before he went ahead with my right Achilles tendon transfer he consulted with other orthopedists, did some extra research and delayed surgery, partly because he knew the seriousness and complexity. He was really sorry to have to put me through it. But I am ready to get my life back after the left one is repaired.

Another orthopedist I'm a frequent flyer with was scheduled to do a right knee replacement until the Achilles mess. He's always courteous and explains the process and options. A 3rd orthopedist replaced my right shoulder a year ago and I gave him a 5 star review.

My PCP is great. When my previous one retired I was hesitant to go to the new doctor he referred me to, but I've had no disappointment. He's younger and keeps looking for new ways to treat me, and is good about referring me to specialists.

My neurologist had to grow on me. He said very little at first (I think he's pretty shy), but I've been seeing him for several years now and we actually have a little conversation. He's been trying to find something to treat the CIDP pain in my feet and ankles. By now I can read him and recognize his empathy and concern.

Then there's my urologist. I really like him. The only negative thing I have to say is that he prescribed Levofloxacin after a surgery at last Christmas, which destroyed the tissue in both Achilles tendons. I wish he had given me any other antibiotic! He feels badly for what happened, but he's used the antibiotic many times and had never seen this response. I told him at the post op appointment that a few people have suggested legal action, but I like him too much to do that to him. I'll continue to see him.

Someone said "respect brings respect", and I've surely found that to be true. A word of appreciation is always the right thing to do, especially when it's deserved, and every doctor I've been fortunate to work with has been thankful.

There are only a few doctors to whom I would not return nor recommend, but they're mostly in the past. Maybe dismissive or in a hurry to get rid of me or missed problems he clearly should have seen, but they are as human as I am. My doctors are God's gift to me.

Caveat Emptor! Buyer beware. Trust instincts and stand up for yourself. Harder for some of us (me) than others.

Jim

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re original post

Never accept rude behavior from anyone...and that certainly includes doctors.

They are not pristine deities from Mount Olympus...they are just regular people, subject to the same flaws as the rest of us.

And that means that some percentage of them are horrible people, and some percentage of them are actual criminals who go to jail.

He said, "Your heart is not in it?" That guy deserves to walk into a boxing ring with a professional boxer.

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Welcome to Spine surgeon club here in NY, True story; Wife went to respected surgeon for second opinion on failed spine surgery. Once he found out about previous operation he said "My office staff made a mistake in making an appt for you because if I had known about previous surgery I would never have seen you" Also said I know your previous surgeon and he is a great guy go back and see him / Totally disgusted with "club" here in NY.
No one will comment or give possible options on failed spinal surgery done by another "surgeon" Her result of "surgery" laminectomy, removal of interspinious spacers is that spine has now shifted and is now a semi cripple.

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@anoyymous123

Welcome to Spine surgeon club here in NY, True story; Wife went to respected surgeon for second opinion on failed spine surgery. Once he found out about previous operation he said "My office staff made a mistake in making an appt for you because if I had known about previous surgery I would never have seen you" Also said I know your previous surgeon and he is a great guy go back and see him / Totally disgusted with "club" here in NY.
No one will comment or give possible options on failed spinal surgery done by another "surgeon" Her result of "surgery" laminectomy, removal of interspinious spacers is that spine has now shifted and is now a semi cripple.

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Doctors always say those things. I never tell a doctor about what another doctor told me. Of course, I have not had surgery so don't discuss that subject. I just go to two different doctors to get two opinions.

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I have a pain management doctor that gave me three surgeons for a s I fusion. I went to two of them. I also got a few names from his staff. I ended up having the fusion with a surgeon not on his specific list but one from his office. When I went to my regular pain management appointment he said “I see your having a lot of pain “. I said yes and that the Surgeon said I was still not fused. He replied and I quote “ well you made your bed you can just lie in it” This comment because I didn’t use a surgeon on his list! So rude unprofessional and unsympathetic!

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@maggieflorida

I have a pain management doctor that gave me three surgeons for a s I fusion. I went to two of them. I also got a few names from his staff. I ended up having the fusion with a surgeon not on his specific list but one from his office. When I went to my regular pain management appointment he said “I see your having a lot of pain “. I said yes and that the Surgeon said I was still not fused. He replied and I quote “ well you made your bed you can just lie in it” This comment because I didn’t use a surgeon on his list! So rude unprofessional and unsympathetic!

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Too bad no one else was able to hear his comment and it would be your word against his. Otherwise I would take him to task by contacting the owners of the practice and wipe the floor with his a... for you! What a bum. So sorry you have to face this while healing. Time to get a new pain mgmt dr at a different practice.

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Surgeons can really leave you hanging I had a failed back fusion L4-S1 the surgeon told me at my 1 year follow up everything is healed , no scar tissue problems, no pinched nerves, and everything is good enough to go play football. Here’s the frustrating part I’ve had nothing but additional pain since about 4 weeks after the surgery, when his nurse practitioner said I could bend and twist and lift up to 30 lbs that night after showering I bent down to dry my lower legs and had a burning across the fusion that has continued to get worse. My last 4 visits he never got me out of the wheelchair to look at my back ( I could rub the fused area and pain goes straight to the testicle and he says no that’s from somewhere else) I seen 3 other Neurosurgeons and was told there’s nothing wrong, I’ve been using a cane since I stopped using the Walker after my surgery now I’m back to using a Walker some and can’t sleep in bed, even the water walking is hurting my leg from the pressure because the nerves are pinched, numbness, tingling, barely able to touch the left leg because of it being tender. Now the pain is going to the right leg, after it started both feet and calves have started cramping 24/7. After all this I was recommended to contact Mayo Clinic in Minnesota (very disappointed with them) after sending all records and contacting them on a Wednesday they said it would take 4-6 weeks to hear back , they looked at it that day and I got the denial letter on Monday with no suggestions( I’m glad they responded quickly just wish they would have spoke with me about some of my symptoms instead of looking at the same MRIs the other surgeons looked at. My pain doctor said he knew what’s wrong the MRI from last October shows a pinched nerve at L3 . He said I would more than likely have to go back to the surgeon because of liability no one else will do anything . I hope no one else has been thru this like I have, I had to give up a 29 year career and settle for disability because he treated me as a number not a patient . I’m going Monday for an EMG hopefully it shows something

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I’m sorry you have gone through so much. I have had 9 SI joint fusions. Two more fusions at L5S1 and L4 discs. After all these surgeries I now have neuropathy in both feet. It took a year for it to move up to the L3 disc. I now have a large herniated disc at L3 pushing on my sciatica nerve. I’m trying not to fuse it because it will keep moving up. I’m in worst shape now then I was the first time I was fused. Allowing them to fuse me was my first mistake. I’ve also had hardware removed. And an incisional hernia surgery resulting from one of the SI joint fusion surgeries I had. Nerve pain is the worst. The ortho doc at Mayo referred me to a pain clinic there for a pain stimulator but I also got a denial letter from them not accepting me because I went to a different pain clinic years prior. I decided not to have a pain stimulator put in. Upon doing my own research I found so many to be unsuccessful.
The place that did all my surgeries also fused my left SI joint to anchor down my right SI joint. I now have pain in that side which I never had before because that fusion failed due to loose hardware. So I have to live daily in being in severe pain with no pain relief because nothing helps. I’m extremely frustrated.

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Thanks a heap. After 3 1/2 years of increasing pain, falling and consultation with several neurosurgeons, I’ve decided to go ahead and get my L3-S1 fusion next month. I feel like I have to try something. Now I’m back to wondering whether I should do the surgery at all.

Actually, I was kidding about “ Thanks a heap” because I’ve heard your story from any other patients, so that was nothing new

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It’s called due diligence and you have to do the research. Don’t settle till you find the surgeon that you’re most comfortable with and the procedure you feel is best for you!!!
Follow your gut.

I think I would’ve got up and walked out! ! !

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