Rude Meeting With Surgeon Today

It's okay to move on from your surgeon if you feel more comfortable with another doctor after getting a second opinion. Go with your gut. If you're going to put your health in someone's hands for a major surgery, it should be someone you feel good about working with.

I was working with an ortho doc last year on my shoulder. We already did some minor procedures and were working toward a more invasive surgery. He had a good reputation and good reviews. I even had a surgery date scheduled. But I found him to be dismissive and arrogant.

I scheduled a second opinion with an ortho doc from another practice. He also had a good reputation and good reviews but was much more patient and collaborative while discussing my surgical options. I ended up scheduling surgery with him instead and had a much better feeling and mindset heading into the procedure.

These docs work for you. You're not married to them. If you aren't happy with the patient-doctor relationship, then you should move on to someone else.

Sounds like ego, desire for control and possibly fear of liability if you "have doubts." In my experience with cancer and other issues, I keep going with opinions until I am certain of my path. Having surgery may indeed require no doubts and commitment but he was wrong to put it that way. Hope you find a surgeon you have confidence in (you don't have to like a surgeon, in my view!).

My surgeon was a pain. The last time as our appointment was ending, I asked him did he know the difference between God and a Surgeon? He replied no. I then told him God doesn’t think he’s a surgeon. He got my point! Needless to say he sends his PA in to see me and he’s never said another word to me….David

I am afraid of bringing certain thoughts and opinions up with my doctor. Why can’t they at least hear me out and then give their opinion. They cannot afford to hear us rattling away, especially for those of use over a certain age. Sometimes a PA or lesser being could hear us out.
My PA reported that my incredible pain occurred while exercising, it happened in the middle of the night while sleeping. I told her that a law firm had contacted me with some information. She reported that I planned on seeking legal advice. Her word will likely prevail, I feel lost.

Gemini, do NOT let any PA or MD sway you from legal advice. I do not know about your injury but I would bet that the vast majority of patients seek legal advice. The one bit of advice I will give you is if this is a workmen’s compensation issue. Do not settle. The amount you might win will not cover you if more surgeries are needed…..David

Most surgeons I've met have no personality, generally arrogant rude and dismissive and have God complex as mentioned by some. Its unfortunate but I think they are bred this way in their training and I respect that, they have been through hell to become a surgeon. So I never expect a warm fuzzy from a surgeon, because he cant get attached to you, must be very through and must avoid any transference, (after all he is going to cut you open and could make you worse or kill you) , but I do expect a high number of procedures under his belt, a huge success ratio with excellent patient referrals, and a low infection rate ,and no malpractice cases or board reprimands. His schooling, residency, fellowship should be at top schools. He should be involved in very up to date, tried and true methods and know which are fads or gimics, and not be taking kickbacks from hardware or pharma companies he is pushing. If he has published medical research or abstracts, books or taught also good signs of high degree acknowledge and skill. So long as he is super competent , his personality ( if he has one ) is secondary. Sure there are the select few that are also compassionate and humble, but very hard to find. You will get more points with a surgeon if You have studied , done your homework, know the medical terminology and issues involved in your case , and are intelligent and articulate and don't waste his precious time asking stupid questions or make them explain simple things that should have been understood before meeting. I never tell them i am getting multiple opinions. ,I am there to get only theirs and sort it out myself later in my decision process. Sorry you got thrown to a PA, altho some are competent, most cant answer my questions so they always give me the dr. Good Luck to All.

Very True! I’ve worked in my past life 32 years in the Med field 14 years ER and 18 on the street. Yes, ALL MDs deserve the respect as they’ve spent years in school to get where they’re at. I’ve met and am friends with a lot of them. Some have egos others are normal people. A good surgeon explains everything in a simple easy to understand way. As well, they’re also on a schedule. If you’ve ever seen a OR board, it list all the OR rooms, times, procedure being done and Surgeon. It’s almost like an airport flight info board lol.

You all make good points. And while yes, they do deserve respect for their education, in the end, they are human beings. We are human beings. We deserve the respect as well . They need to understand how nerve-racking and scary it is on the other end. Some of them probably do because they have been patients themselves. Patients are of varying education levels. Some have absolutely no medical background, and may not even know to ask questions much less know what questions to ask. If you ask me, compassion has to come from both sides. I have been very blessed to have very capable surgeons, who were also very compassionate and patient. Yes, I am in the medical field, and I can speak the jargon. I have come across the few medical practitioners in my years that maybe should have thought of doing something else instead of working with humans. Maybe they should be in a lab and behind the scenes.
But I do not need to be disrespected. Nor does anybody else. By the way, I do not see any of the practitioners in my past that have been rude. I moved on and found highly educated practitioners who are also kind. I wish you all the best in finding the right doctor for you. And don’t be afraid to educate yourself as much as possible so that you can ask the questions that you need answered. There is a lot of information out there and make sure that you were going to a very reputable website to get your information. Be well.

Dishpain, please do not think that I approve of these EGO driven surgeons. Compassion is the number one thing. A Surgeon should know their patients are scared and worried and should explain in simple terms of the procedure as well as answer any questions the patient has……David

Thank you for your clarifying reply David and thank you for your like. We are all working together to support each other . I thank you very much for your input. Like I said, you all have very good points.