Recovering from a traumatic experience: fear of having another seizure
A few years ago I started having seizures. We couldn’t figure out why I was having them, and they put me through every single epilepsy medication. None of the medications helped, and The seizures became more violent and more frequent. I was pretty much incapable of thinking at this point, and I was just worried about survival. My parents were taking care of me but it all seemed hopeless. Every day, all day I would just think about when I would have my next seizure. It almost became relieving to a certain extent because it temporarily halted the overwhelming anxiety about when the next seizure would occur. About three years ago, my dad was online trying to figure out why I was having these seizures when he stumbled across a solution. He found a doctor who created special contacts that filter out red light. We drove eight hours to meet the doctor, and I received the contacts. Since that day I have not had a single seizure. I feel normal again physically. My brain never changed though. Every day all I can think about is when I will have another seizure even though it is unlikely that I will ever have another. I also struggle when someone near me has a seizure, one time I lost my vision completely for a short period of time because someone had one when I was nearby. I haven’t told anyone about this and I’ve been hoping that I can solve this without having to see a therapist or doctor. This is affecting my social life along with my life at school and my relationship with my family. I’m not sure what the clinical name for what I’m going through is, but I figured that it is probably similar to PTSD. I don’t want the rest of my life to be like this. I just want to go back to thinking as I used too: not having to worry about the next time that I’ll have a seizure. Hopefully, someone can help me find a solution. Thanks in advance!