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Recent Stage 4 Colon Cancer diagnosis
I am 41 years old. I was having issues for months, but just chalked it up to getting older... just toughed it out. Eventually, the pain woke me up and that was the day I found out that I had a complete blockage. Oncology surgeon had me under the knife less than 10 hours later. They removed 2/3s of my colon... luckily, I avoided a pouch. Turned out to be a 7 hour surgery.. I have a scar to remind me from the bottom of my chest to my beltline. Now, I feel like a burden to my wife.. my kids are scared for me... Really been struggling to hold their emotions, show up still, and recover from this BS. 2 months ago I was able to go to the gym... now I get nauseous after a few hours of being on my feet. Im 41.. what a shame...
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My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer stage IV. He already had two chemo treatments. I know he worries about me, he tries to do a lot on his own, but sometimes he pushes me away and that makes me feel alone . I tried to tell him that we're in this together, and everything is new to me as it's for him. I am taking one day at a time. I know that God is in control and His plans are perfect.
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1 Reaction@harry61 asi esto es paso a paso y tener fe que todo saldra bien
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2 Reactions@harry61, I agree with @apinzonc0627. This journey is step by step.
I can imagine that your husband is trying to hold on tight to his sense of control. He has to submit to being taken care of. He can't push the doctors, nurses, and others at the hospital away. So, when he's home, he wants to show (to himself) that he can do things for himself as usual, to keep things as normal as possible.
Sometimes being a caregiver can make you feel helpless. You want to help but the things you try to do are not what the patient wants. That's hard and I can understand that his not sharing that you're in this together make you feel alone. That hurts.
@harry61, he does need you and may need you more as chemo continues. I wonder if he needs you to keep up the appearances of everything being "normal". Sounds like he doesn't want any "fussing". I know my dad didn't want anything to change. My mom found it helped her to feel like she was doing something by doing research, creating a binder and listing what side effects she could look out for. My dad didn't find it helpful to know about the "possible" side effects in advance. He just wanted to deal with the ones he got if he got them. My mom, on the other hand, wanted to know what might happen. Does that sounds familiar?
What kinds of things do you like to do together?
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