Connect
Read My Lips
I have a story that I want to share with others who are hearing impaired and who may rely upon lip reading as I often do.
Two weeks ago I saw a dermatologist who I had waited a good 6 months to see because of the wait time to see such a specialist. Before this appointment I had seen my neurologist, who did not have a mask on because there is currently no mask protocol at Sutter Hospital, where I go for most of my medical care. Before I left his office he said to me: "Make sure that the dermatologist looks at the wound on your back because it looks angry." I had had hives because of an allergic reaction to some medication, and the itching was over the top.
I arrived at the dermatology office, and while I was getting situated for the doctor to come in and exam a lesion on my face, I asked if the doctor could take a quick look at my back and arm, which was bleeding by this point. "NO. The doctor can only look at the lesion on your face because everything else needs to be part of the referral." I will leave the rest of this interaction alone for now.
The doctor comes into the exam room, wearing a mask. As he begins talking to me, I say, "Can you please lower your mask so I can read your lips, I am hearing impaired; see my hearing aid?" The doctor refused to lower his mask so I offered to put a mask on and suggested that he could then remove his, "NO." I say to him that I have no idea what he is saying other than that he wants to freeze the lesion on my face. I tell him I do not want this done for obvious reasons, and I literally fled the doctor's office. When I arrived home I fired off a complaint about this provider as there is a section on Sutter's patient portal where one can submit a compliment or complaint about an experience at Sutter. Later I received a survey about my experience with this clinician and I answered it honestly, giving him all zeros.
The next week I saw my PCP and told him the story, which angered him. As it turns out, the wound on my back was infected and I was given Cipro, It is all good now. I will look for a new dermatologist who is not directly employed by Sutter.
It had been a very long time since I felt "less than" because of my hearing impairment. Many do not believe I am hearing impaired because I do not sound like someone with a profound hearing loss, which I have. The reason I do not sound like a deaf or near deaf person is because I made it my mission in life not to sound like my mother, who was profoundly hearing impaired. It is not that I do not like the sound of a deaf or hard of hearing person's voice, I simply did not want to be in any way, shape or form like my mother for obvious reasons that I will refrain from sharing here.
During COVID it was especially difficult to understand people because of all the masking. I wonder how others deal with this sort of thing. I suppose I could have asked for a sign language interpreter, but my ASL is a bit rusty because I have no one to practice with. Perhaps I should have "signed" something to the doctor indicating what I really thought of him. Yes, I know all the signs
Like
Helpful
HugInterested in more discussions like this? Go to the Hearing Loss Support Group.
Connect
Even before covid, i was a little hard of hearing, but not enough for an aid. I simply start the interactions by saying "I have a bit of a hearing loss, so 'it's OK to yell at me or use your outside voice" - hasn't failed yet to get results and a chuckle.
In the first year of the pandemic, before we had vaccinations or tests, when everyone was masking, I needed to consult my ENT. But when he spoke to me through his mask I couldn’t understand him. I asked if he would consider removing his mask while I remained masked. He considered for a second, stepped back into the doorway, almost out of the room, took off his mask and raised his voice to speak to me. We were thereby able to have a productive discussion. I thanked him profusely.
Last week, more than 3 years later, I had a first visit with a physical therapist who was heavily masked. She wasn’t willing to take off her mask, but I told her I wouldn’t be able to understand her unless she spoke loudly and slowly, which she agreed to do. So we had a successful session.
Each time, if both participants had not taken an extra step to be able to work with their counterpart, the appointment would have been a waste of time. A practitioner who is inflexible about wearing a mask needs to work harder to communicate with a hearing-impaired patient, and a patient who has difficulties hearing has to be assertive about saying what they need from the practitioner, to be able to understand what they are saying.
It sounds like you did your part in communicating your needs, and it's quite striking that your doctor was so unresponsive, and rude to boot! I don’t think someone like that should be practicing medicine. A review that warns other hearing-impaired patients about this practitioner’s behavior seems appropriate to me.
I could perhaps be more sympathetic to your doctor’s caution in 2020 when we didn’t have a clue about how the disease spread. But I’m less sympathetic now. Vaccines are our first line of protection, not masks. We have home tests to indicate whether we’re infected, and we know the isolation protocols if we’ve been exposed. So, we don’t wear gloves to the grocery store anymore, right? We know the virus isn’t communicated by touch, but by breathing. But in 2020 we didn’t know that, and what seemed like appropriate protection back then would look ridiculous now.
Consequently, I find it confusing when someone puts on a mask anymore, unless they’re undergoing chemo or something, and need even the slight amount of self protection masks afford. I put on a mask plus face shield, plus gown and gloves when visiting a family member in the ICU last winter, and was totally okay with that.
What I don’t understand is someone who is vaccinated and not at risk, yet they cover their face. Are they concerned about spreading the disease? If so why don’t they test themselves before going out? Are they concerned about contracting the disease? Well, masks are not primarily for self-protection—vaccinations are. So just get vaxxed. Knowing what we know, and having the tools now available to us, I just don’t get the psychology of masking at this point. To me masking now seems rather like wearing gloves to the grocery store.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 Reactionin reply to @ner Well said. I couldn't understand why everyone in the doctor's office had a mask on, in light of the fact that my doctor had said there is no masking protocol, presently. I agree that vaccinations are the first line of defense and plan to get the COVID booster that is supposed to be available by the end of this week, for practical reasons. I have no immune system and do not want to take any chances.
Admittedly, while at the lab last week I did pick out several pink masks in light of Barbie. I went to Trader Joes on Sunday and had the mask on because I was wearing a pink shirt. LOL I took the mask off because I felt I didn't need it, even though many employees had masks on.
Everyone who I need to come in contact with knows that I am hearing impaired and if they choose to wear a mask, they speak loudly so I can hear them. I think I did the right thing by asking that dermatologist to remove his mask, and I would put mine on if he was so afraid of me possibly spreading germs. AND, I also think I did the right thing by giving him all zeros on the survey that was sent to me. I know from past experience that Sutter does pay attention to these types of surveys because in the past I completed another one about a different doctor who argued with me about this DNA paper I was instructed to post on my refrigerator, but did not want to. I asked him if he had one on his refrigerator, and he did not. Furthermore, I was having chronic diarrhea at the time and questioned him about the fact that on a rare occasion I might have stool matter leaking out. He told me this was what they call "a wet fart." I was so disgusted by this locker room comment that I completed the survey accordingly and noticed that when I went back to the doctor's office, he was no longer there. There are doctors and then there are "doctors."
Thank you for your post