Q Dating and wanting loving Kink LTR ??

I've greatly LOVED BDSM for 18 yrs... Now tired to just hook-ups (I'm early 70s)...
Q:
1) do men who love kink/BDSM, can it enhance real heart to heart love?... I kinda think so
2) or do most men into BDSM see it as just sex, and don't connect Love and BDSM ?
3) ideally I'd not mind a primary kinky LTR with my main man, yet be honestly open in that I likely can't fulfill the other's kink wants, so why say, open the relationship,,, you (the other) go do your kink (gulf) and return home to ME, your MAIN MAN !!
Thoughts?