Psychological effects of living with neuropathy

Posted by domiha @domiha, Oct 17, 2023

This is more of a whine than a question. I get so tired, not just physically but psychologically, of living with the neuropathy and the limitations. All of us here are dealing with different combinations of symptoms and to differing degrees. Some know what caused the neuropathy, while others have no idea of the origin. But in the end, we are all in the same boat. My neuropathy appeared after a lumbar laminectomy a year ago. I had such pain in my legs for the year before my surgery that the neuropathy could have been there then and I wouldn't have been able to distinguish the difference. I was SO hoping the laminectomy would fix me... and it DID take away the leg pain that was limiting my walking. I can walk again.... though I'm a bit wobbly... and I do need to take breaks every so often. But I sometimes think the psychological toll is worse than the physical. I'm 72 and have always lived with anxiety and depression issues. How I would love to just find ACCEPTANCE of the fact that this is MY LIFE at this point.... and do what I can and the neuropathy be damned. And I do try to go and do as much as possible. But wherever I go, I take my feet with me.... and thus all the symptoms that remind me that I will never be "normal" again. As they say, "misery loves company," and I wonder how some of you deal with they psychological. Anyone else feeling like this? I see a therapist, but he can't fix my feet. I go to PT, but that seems to have reached it's peak for improvement. I know there are so many people with much worse infirmities out there.... but somehow knowing that doesn't make my situation any better. Thanks for allowing me to vent. Best to all!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Neuropathy Support Group.

@artscaping

Good evening @ray666......I am so glad to meet another Jack Daniels fan. I really enjoyed the Jack Daniels Special Select. Every once in a while, (1 or 2 times a season), I have a small, very small glass with some ice. The other 95% of the time I have some Uptime with Zero Sugar fruit juice.
We can pretend you know.

May you have peace and pleasure.
Chris

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Ah, Chris, after all these years, I can still taste the deep-down glorious afterburn of a short glass of JD Special Select! Those were the days, Chris. I'm glad they're over, but those sure were the days! 🙂

Peace and pleasure to you, too, Chris!
Ray

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@domiha

@dbeshears1 Hi, Debbie! I thank you for your encouraging words! Yes, this IS a grieving process. It's a change in our lives that affects each of us in different ways. And an occasional pity party is not bad as long as we come out of it with a renewed sense of focus on the positive!
One positive is finding this group of caring, compassionate people (like you) who understand and know exactly how I feel.

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I hear all of y’all,so good to see and read your input.
I’m @83 yrs. Last chemo was 8 months ago. 6 in.of sigmoid removed after stage 3 colon. Now ! Numb and tingling hand and feet,no pain…tried gabapentin no luck.finally Igot an appointment with a neurologist that scheduled a nerve conduction study and electromyography test.(upcoming) in the meantime I’m psychologically damaged. Those around me seem tired of my wining, so ! Now I avoid them. Maybe 🤔 I’ll go fishing.

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It's hard, pcallier, I know, to talk about one's health and not think that others are considering it whining. I try not to go on and on about my own health, but it's a challenge. If I were to be perfectly honest, my health is the No. 1 thing on my mind––or if it's not No. 1, it's darn close. That's why I find the community here at Connect to provide such relief. Here, we can let go and talk as much as we like about our health––doctors, medications, therapies, old aches, new aches, good days, bad days, all of our many ups and downs.

But fishing? Mmm? That sounds like a good idea! 🙂

Cheers!
Ray (@ray666)

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Hi @domiha just wanted to add my support. There is no way you can have an illness like this that disrupts your whole life and not feel depressed and despair at times. I think it’s normal and you shouldn’t feel bad because you feel like this sometimes. I think it’s part of the grieving process. This is a huge loss. I can barely leave my house anymore And my medication‘s and my symptoms basically rule my life. I cope by taking courses online and studying some of the things I wanted to do when I was younger, but couldn’t because I was busy supporting my family. Now I can do whatever I want within limits of course. Sometimes I think it’s a small comfort because I’d rather be working. I just forget about the past and try to take every day as it comes. Some days I’m in bed all day and other days I can move around and do a few things around the house. I actually think the worst part is the isolation and the lack of understanding of this illness. We’ve all been there. Hang in there. Try to come up with creative things that you really want to do. Maybe stuff you couldn’t do before. And I haven’t been on this site for very long, but I think it’s perfectly OK to whine. Sometimes we just need to put things out there and we feel a little better. I hope you find a new passion in life take care. I am sending love and support.

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I was just crying a little this afternoon. I’m one of those who has no idea why or how I got it (after many Dr and specialists appointments). Been dealing with it for around 4-5 yrs now. I get so depressed because I turned 50 this year and feel that I am still so young with hopefully, a lot of life left to live, especially for my 12yr old son. I try so hard to focus on other things. Mom always told me that your mind can only focus on one thing at a time. But, it’s just so hard at times. So, like others have said, feel free to whine. I’m new to the group and bet it’s completely understood and relatable to all.

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@danamw73

I was just crying a little this afternoon. I’m one of those who has no idea why or how I got it (after many Dr and specialists appointments). Been dealing with it for around 4-5 yrs now. I get so depressed because I turned 50 this year and feel that I am still so young with hopefully, a lot of life left to live, especially for my 12yr old son. I try so hard to focus on other things. Mom always told me that your mind can only focus on one thing at a time. But, it’s just so hard at times. So, like others have said, feel free to whine. I’m new to the group and bet it’s completely understood and relatable to all.

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Welcome @danamw73, I think we've all been there at one time or another and it's easy to get depressed when you have to deal with the condition every day. My neuropathy started sometime in my late 40s into my 50s but I didn't bother to get a diagnosis until I was in my early 70s. My best advice that I can offer is to learn as much as you can about your condition and treatment options available that may provide relief for your symptoms. Connect is a great place to learn what treatments others have shared has helped them.

If you haven't already seen the following site, it might be worth your time to read through some of the information on the available alternative and complementary treatments.
--- Foundation for Peripheral Neuropathy: https://www.foundationforpn.org/living-well/

I shared my neuropathy journey in another discussion here - https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/310341/. Do you you mind sharing a little more about your diagnosis and any treatments you have tried?

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@danamw73

I was just crying a little this afternoon. I’m one of those who has no idea why or how I got it (after many Dr and specialists appointments). Been dealing with it for around 4-5 yrs now. I get so depressed because I turned 50 this year and feel that I am still so young with hopefully, a lot of life left to live, especially for my 12yr old son. I try so hard to focus on other things. Mom always told me that your mind can only focus on one thing at a time. But, it’s just so hard at times. So, like others have said, feel free to whine. I’m new to the group and bet it’s completely understood and relatable to all.

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I too was diagnosed about the same age as you. It’s now 13 years.
Nothing wrong with occasionally feeling depressed about it. Then we pick ourselves up and do our best to stay positive. This will help a lot because neuropathy is more painful when you have anxiety. Welcome ! I’m new as well.
There are very knowledgeable people here willing to help. Never give up ! Best to you.
Keep fighting 💪🏼🫰🏼

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@domiha = Wow...what a topic! Early on when I first came on board to the Connect, mentor John @johnbishop said to learn as much as you can about your condition, and I have focused on that wise advice. I've purchased several publications relating to PN and various reliable websites not selling any products are helpful. I think what has helped me the most is hearing from others who also have PN. Our doctors don't deal with the psychological effects of PN, they deal with test results. Has a doctor ever asked how do you feel about having PN? Think about it. We deal with this each day, how it affects our lives, and it does. To what degree, that depends on each person. I appreciate Debbie's comments above and it's true, it's what you can do. And, as @valec said, don't give up and keep fighting. How true! Mike, thanks for this post, it got many thinking.

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I could have written your comment- same symptoms, same diagnosis, same epidurals, same surgery, same results. My PN “journey” started with a herniated disc when I was 64, am now 70. This is cold comfort, but as I get further away from the dividing line between life before and after, I find I focus a lot less on the PN, it’s just “me”. Now it’s automatic to do all the little adjustments needed to be safe while doing anything. I’ve already dropped the activities that are unsafe- no playing badmitten with the grands, but red light/green light on the paved driveway is fine. I can’t take them canoeing or hiking (which I loved), but we camped this summer at a cabin (steps with a rail, cots) and to an amusement park (paved pathways, plenty of benches). Without even thinking about it, you think things through and make the adjustments needed.
I do regret I didn’t do more in retirement of the outdoor things I enjoyed, but who knows what lies ahead in life. I did spend the 5 year anniversary of the dividing line in a big soup of whine, there is a lot to mourn. This group is great, people really understand. Ray really means it about that big comfy chair.

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Very well said!!! Myself? I was diagnosed with idiopathic Small Fiber Neuropathy 3 years ago. But early symptoms led me to 3 different podiatrists. My feet hurt terribly!!!! So you go to a podiatrist. Right? Misdiagnosed 3 times which led to 3 different USELESS surgeries!!!! On to the neurologists. It took the third one to recommend a skin biopsy to rule out SFN. Unfortunately, it came back positive. He seemed surprised!! Then prescribed horrible medications that help only minimally. My primary care physician always asks about my depression. My response is always that it depends on my pain level. Which is almost always high.
24/7. I’ve tried some antidepressants along with either gabapentin or Lyrica. They are horrible!!!! They mess with your head and do little for pain.
So are you whining? You’re entitled to whine. No one can really understand what we go through on a daily basis. It’s truly debilitating, and hard to accept. I was very active and athletic prior to my first symptoms. Skiing, hiking, tennis, you name it, I was good at it!!! That was all taken away literally overnight. I was forced into early retirement and live a very sedentary life which I wasn’t built for. So am I depressed? You’re damn right I am!!!! It’s been almost 7 years, and to be honest, I’m pissed!!!! My wife is the only one who REALLY knows the pain I feel everyday. Friends don’t understand why I don’t want to participate in certain activities. They see I can walk, but they don’t feel the pain I feel. Even simple activities are overwhelming.
So whine away!!!!
I know what you’re going through.

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