Post Sepsis and ICU Syndrome: There are days I feel so down

Hi Wendi!! I’m sorry I forgot to directly answer your question. Yes, it is absolutely normal to feel like you would’ve been better off dead. I felt the same way, and after about the fourth time being severely septic, and in the ICU, I even begged God to take me!! Recovery from being severely septic, having bilateral pneumonia, even being in the ICU; are all very understandable reasons to feel down, depressed, and desperate! I totally went through that for about nine months after my last hospitalization in June 2022. You are normal honey, and you will get through this! I hope and pray you got my comment prior to this outlining the things I did to help myself. Post Sepsis and post ICU are hard for other people to understand. In my case, especially my children and husband; I think they were very supportive through my rehabilitation each time I got out of the hospital. But once I kept going back in with the same thing and coming out having to do the same rehab… I think they just got used to it and even felt like I should do something to help myself to stop from being sick all the time. They were used to me racing around all the time. I was extremely OCD about my children, my home and my job; so losing all of it made me feel as you described! I hope by now that you are feeling 100% better! I lost sight of this website for a year. I simply didn’t remember any such website due to the damage to my cerebellum. When it came Across my email today, I tapped on it, and yours was the first I read. I somehow don’t think that was an accident; as it reminded me that there are still people out there who may need my support! I hope this comment finds you much better, and With a whole new adjusted life that you’re happy to live! Peace and love!! 🫶🏼🌹🫶🏼🌹

Hi I just shared my sorry today but when I read yours I noticed you mentioned body vibrations.. I have that to the point of distraction. I can’t due any vibration to my body bc my many health issues involve severe abdominal pain from multiple things and terrible neuropathy in legs from the septic shock. Tried many medicines and other therapies for neuropathy with no help and the vibration feeling is supposedly in my head…. I get told it’s but another thing you don’t want to be crowned as is what I got stuck with, “most unique and complicated “ competed in equestrian sports since I was a kid, not the best trophy. hah if you don’t laugh you’ll cry. Got any ideas

I wish I could tell you I did have a magical answer to your vibrations. My doctor says he’s never heard of it either and of course it got labeled with “long haul Covid”; Which I feel seems to be the answer to anything that they do not know! I still get the Internal body vibrations; Mostly at night, and they are very hard to ignore. I also have neuropathy in my feet and legs. I’m told from the numerous back surgeries I’ve had as well as abdominal ! The only thing I can tell you that has really helped me with those is when they start, if I’m at home anyway; I lay in my bed, which is electric, and I turn on the massage portion. It’s actually more like a bed vibrator; but for whatever reason, it takes them away much faster than normal! I have no idea why, I just know that thats what works for me. I’m very sorry you’re going through all this! People just don’t understand, especially when it’s out of the norm! I take Lyrica for my neuropathy and it helps to the point I can go about my day . But nothing actually takes it away. Sepsis and septic shock and even the ICU is no joke. It’s serious and you are very blessed to be alive!, Many people die from sepsis, let alone septic shock! I do have periods where I get extremely, extremely depressed; especially if I don’t keep myself busy… I’m not sure what that is caused by, but it is scary sometimes; we haven’t found a medication that helps with that. I do take Prozac for depression, which helps on a day-to-day basis; but every now and then I feel so, so alone! I feel like I am a grain of sand and that nobody really loves me and sometimes even that I wish I wasn’t here!!! I wish I had some kind of a solution or helpful hint to tell you about that; but I do not. I live alone, so I usually go to my room and stay in bed for days with my phone turned off. I usually stay awake for at least 48 hours, just thinking about how nobody cares! I can’t even tell you what brings me out of it; only that I’m blessed that it does! I do believe in God and I do believe he plays a role in keeping me out of the hospital and in my right mind most of the time . But I attribute it to my guardian angel honestly; that I eventually come out of that very dark, dark place!! Listen, I’m an RN that can’t work anymore; so I now do calm, sit down projects. I do what’s called “dotting”, and I color. Not just normal things; things that take me a long time and keep my attention on something else. I also bought an exercise bike, which I tried to use often since I’m still not wanting to go outside a lot; which is way way different for me. It’s getting better. There is hope; there is always hope… You just have to reach out for it and surround yourself with people that love you and care about you. I can’t say that anyone in my family understands how sick I really was and how close to death I was . Thank God for a very understanding and patience, boyfriend, best friend, and one of my seven sisters!! Horses are amazing therapy, and although I cannot ride anymore, I still love to be around them… Brushing them, talking to them, and just loving on them ! I also had a dog… She was a labrador retriever and had been with me for 17 years. I recently had to put her down for humane reasons… But that hasn’t helped things sometimes; I miss her so bad. So now it’s just me, navigating life the best way I know how , and including God, my father more often in my day-to-day conversations! Good luck to you and feel free to reach out to me anytime. I would be happy to share my phone number with you if you would like! Take care and remember that it’s OK to pray for yourself!!!…. ♥️🫶🏼☺️♥️🫶🏼😊♥️. My dogs name was ChikaJo & mine of course is Karen. Please feel free to reach out anytime! Peace & hope, Karen 😊