Poor Driving?

My mother stopped driving just in the nick of time. My sister and I told her she had to stop or she could, at the end of her life, kill somebody. In exchange for her keys, I said I would drive her not only when needed but also when not needed. It was a huge commitment on my part, but that’s what it took to keep her and others safe. My sister helped when she could, but it was mostly my responsibility. I live in the country and Mom lived in a small town 25 minutes away. Several times I narrowly escaped serious car accidents (for some reason people don’t stop at stop signs) that would not have been my fault. I put this comment here to make people realize that when people stop driving, someone will have to commit to driving for them. It’s time consuming and scheduling appointments can be a nightmare. I loved my mother and no one made me do this for her. My husband is a saint and never complained, as his mom needed help also. We gave up our retirement plans to take care of our parents, but it was necessary as options for transportation (and care, for that matter) of seniors who can no longer drive are few. Living in the country makes it almost impossible to find transportation as there are no buses or cabs to ride. If your children are still working and/or live hours away, getting out just to go for groceries will not be easy or cheap. Uber drivers aren’t free! There are possible solutions if you can buy and have delivered all your groceries and other supplies. I guess I am saying that not driving is a very big change, not just for ourselves, but for others. We will all need to prepare ahead of time for how we will make our lives work once we can no longer travel further than we can walk.

..forgot to mentin that in our winters (lots of snow and ice) I no longer attempt to drive...by the time clean snow off lights and windows etc., and difficult to see at intersections.. so hope when summer is here I just make a few trips out to local grocery store etc. .. but still makes me feel housebound til then; spouse is about the same as me, and I feel sometimes tired of being my "taxi"

My dad, aged 95, and increasingly frail, opted to end his life using MAID last Friday. He left us legally permitted to drive! How he passed his test last March is beyond me, but he did. And he did little driving, usually leaving it to his (second) wife, and none at dusk and later because he was aware of his limitations. I was present in the passenger seat when he had moments of confusion, one of which resulting in a rear-end...a pickup hit us because my dad stopped suddenly at a green light.

Cognitive processes decline, and those moments of confusion can be deadly.

I have peripheral neuropathy in my feet from chemo for breast cancer. They don't have a lot of feeling. I am now 84 and live 8 miles out of town. Several years ago I was driving into town on the highway to see my daughter. Suddenly my feet went totally numb and I couldn't feel the brake. I couldn't pull over I limped into town going as slow as I could with drivers honking at me and giving me the finger. I finally rolled up my daughter's driveway , stopped and never drove again. My son takes me to appointments, to buy groceries and to see my daughter. My insurance will pay for 22 one way trips a year.

Some recent research - higher levels of White Matter Hypersensitivities (WMH) in the brain indicate poor driving skills in aging participants.

That is, if you have had a brain MRI showing WMH. But if you do have access to an MRI report this might help you decide what’s best for a family member.
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2844479

I'm 83. A few yrs ago I got my L knee replaced & the surgeon didn't send me to PT so I sat around waiting for the pain to go away and got lazy and after a too-long time I got weak and still am. Almost 3 years ago, given my weak body, I shouldn't have leaned over the mower but I did and fell over, crashing my forehead onto the sidewalk. Now I have some vision problems -- my R eye is not out of kilter, but my brain thinks it's looking down & to the right and about 80% the size of what I see with my L eye. When driving, I have to close my R eye. I've been driving since I was 12. It's a part of me. And I live alone so I need to go out sometimes. I can no longer drive at night and it's way worse if I do, because my eyes are more sensitive to bright lights, like oncoming traffic, and if the streets are wet, it's impossible.