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Pancreatic Cancer with Mets to the Liver: Lost and wondering!
Lost and Wondering Did We Do Everything? Is there anything else we can do?
We took my mother (who's in her 80s and worked in a foundry until she was 78 and up until a few moths ago was out playing bingo and visiting the local casino) in to the emergency department because she fell at 2300 and the ED is the only thing open. We thought dehydration and we would be home. ED doctor sees my sister and I speaking in the hall outside my mothers room and comes in and says " well you know she has cancer " What? –the expression on my siters face was heartbreaking not to mention the devastating news of cancer!!
She is admitted and the hospitalist comes in and asks us how much do we know about our mothers condition. We reply, not much other than what the ED doctor told us and that she had a US she had done last week that showed some spots on the liver and a MRI was done on Friday, but no results yet. The Hospitalist said that he would see if the results could be rushed and he would be back.
The entire time my sister and I are in a huge haze and nothing makes sense.
The hospitalist returns and first thing out of his mouth is " I'm sorry but I don't have any good news. Your mother has a large mass on her pancreas with mets to the liver. " He then proceeds to tell us that the prognosis is not good and surgery is not an option–but that he is not a oncologist but in his opinion there is nothing they can do for her, but again he states that he is ?not an oncologist " but will have one come see us. Wait, wait , wait–what just happened??My siter breaks down and I am just sitting there trying to process this information.
Oncologist comes in and tells us pretty much the same thing–I ask about surgery, chemo, radiation , anything all of which he feels will not prolong her life, Quality vs, quantity–we want both.
We were discharged a few days later with Hospice and here we are today–lost and feeling awful, wondering if we have done everything we can.
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I am so sorry, belana.
I would, of course, recommend a second opinion from a different team, and that you could seek out a pancreatic cancer center of excellence.
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3 ReactionsI am sorry about your mother. I agree that a center of excellence is a good idea. Pancreatic cancer is notoriously "silent", no symptoms until the cancer is advanced. The shock of a cancer diagnosis is tremendous, You are not alone. Thank you for sharing your story and stay in touch with all of us.
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4 ReactionsSo sorry about your mother. What a shock this must be. It's difficult enough taking in that your mother has cancer, but then being told to go talk to Hospice Care makes it even worse. It would probably give you peace of mind, getting another opinion & getting some more information about the cancer. You need to also consider how will your mom react to any treatment, etc. You have a lot to think about. Take care of yourself.
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5 ReactionsBelana, you, your sister, and your mother are facing such a terrific shock. I am so sorry.
I agree that you must go to a center of excellence for a second opinion. Also, I would suggest counseling or pastoral care for your Mother. We all know we will not be here forever, but being faced with our own mortality can cause grief and confusion. What next? Medical treatment? Travel? Organizing our affairs, etc.
Learning more about the disease and her specific situation may provide hope you don’t know exists! It’s a complex disease, find a specialist!!
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6 ReactionsI would seek out a second opinion, go to a Pancreatic Center of expertise and seek out integrative / alternative methods as well. We are following the Metabolic protocol outlined in the book "How to Starve Cancer" by Jane McClelland as well as proceeding with everything that is available in Standard of Care chemotherapy as well high High Dose IV Vitamin C. My husband just completed his initial 12 chemo cycles and is doing well. His cancer markers are down 96% from diagnosis of Stage IV in Feb of this year and most all of his metastases have shrunk or disappeared. Don't know what the future holds, but we are committed to hit this with everything that we can at the same time. Pancreatic cancer is very aggressive and adaptive. I pray that you find the way to more time.
Beth
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6 ReactionsI am so sorry about your mom. To me, the question is: What does your mom want to do? No one wants to lose a loved one. I'm the mom in our family scenario, so I understand your worries and your desire for both quantity and quality of life--my husband and kids are coping with this too. But ultimately, your mom is the patient, so her desires and goals are primary. Cancer treatment is arduous. Does she want to fight this? Will you all be able to help her get to treatments and recover afterward? If so, you could consult for a second or third opinion and do research on her treatment options to help her make the decision that's best for her. Is she disinclined to fight this? Some patients make the choice to forgo treatment and focus on palliative care. I would start by talking with her; maybe a counselor or social worker or pastor could help manage the conversation, or if you feel comfortable with the oncologist, meet again with him/her. One thing I noted is that you said your mom had been very active up until the last few months. Has she been coping with discomfort and symptoms without saying anything to you? I'm not sure what that might signify except certainly it would have given the cancer a strong start before being discovered. I wish you all well and hope you are able to discern the approach that's best for your mom.
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9 ReactionsKeeping you and your husband in my prayers.
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2 ReactionsThank you.
Beth
@belana0165, how are you and your family doing?
What are the ways to prevent or stop mets. I am feeling so helpless. My father 61 yr old was diagnosed with pancreatic adenocarcinoma in January 2023. He underwent 12 rounds of FOLFIRINOX before surgery and 2 rounds after surgery.
Undegone whipples in August 2023. Now there shows lesion in liver in March 2023. What to do further? What is the treatment? Can the lesions disappear from chemo?
Anything about immunotherapy?