Posted by falconfly @falconfly, Dec 11, 2016

My 24 year old granddaughter has OCD, but refuses to go for help. She cannot be made to go because she is an adult and no one is able to help her because she has to want the help so she lives at home in her bedroom in bed most of her life…Anyone have ideas to help?

Hi @falconfly,

That must be so frustrating and distressing for you.
There are many members on Connect who have discussed OCD; @kimsworld, @kmkm, @soitis4590, @louisxiv, @jamie817, @gomogo2000, @alexsimon, @elbertvix, @nifftyneff, have posted about OCD in the past, and I hope they will join in on the discussion.

Mayo Clinic has an Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) information page where you could get some insight on Coping and Support, and other Resources you might find useful. Here is the link for more information:

@falconfly, when did you notice that your granddaughter has OCD? Do you think she would be more willing to consider a support group, rather than treatment?

@falconfly, I know how upsetting this can be…my mother has lived with it her whole life. Its hard watching her deal with the terrible anxiety and depression that goes with it. I couldn’t imagine watching a child or grandchild go through it. I also know how frustrating it is that she refuses treatment. Like you said, she cannot be forced. I think the previous commenters suggestion of trying a support group is a great one, if she would consider it. You are not alone…I hope that gives you some comfort. Mental illness is a terrible disease! There are some medications that help, the key is finding the right one. Has she tried any meds?

She has had it a little bit some years ago, but it has come back full force..I don’t think there are any groups near where she lives. I will suggest it to my daughter, but I’d guess granddaughter would not even consider group therapy…but thank you for the suggestion

If she’s spending most of her time at home and in bed in my opinion it sounds like she’s depressed also. Unfortunately I don’t know how you would get her to go to the Doctor for depression if she won’t go for OCD.
Good Luck,

@falconfly, my 30 year old daughter was dx with ocd when she was 7. Then other things, like depression. It was a rough ride, but she has it in control without meds now, after lots of therapy and learning ways to deal with it. One thing i learned is sometimes we need to use tough love.Your granddaughter is 24, living at home, and it sounds like she doesn’t work. Mom and/or dad have to let her know that she is reponsible for her own life. Fine if she doesn’t want treatment, she still has to get work,move on as she is now an adult. i used written agreements with my daughter when she was 18, with timelines and consequences. In the end I had to do the tough thing: tell her to leave when she didn’t follow through. But it was HER choice due to her own behavior. Very soon she did what she needed to do.

On the other hand, if she is truly unable to care for herself, or is a danger to self or others, she can be committed to a hospital for evaluation and treatment.You and the parents could find support and strategies from a family therapist and NAMI, National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. I may sound harsh, please know i am also mentally ill with bipolar disorder and in sane times i agree this should be the approach to me. We all can become enablers in this case just as much as we can with people who are addicted to drugs or alcohol. She is now an adult and we aren’t helping if we make it possible for someone to become totally dependent with no path to wellness and independence, empowerment.
It is also very important to assess if she is suicidal, simply by asking direct questions. If she indicates that she is, she can be committed to the hospital. Each state has different rules about what constitutes grounds for involuntary hospitalization and the procedures to follow. You can find out on the state’s website.

I wish you the best in your role and trying to help your granddaughter. Don’t give up but also recognize you too have limits. I know this is very challenging, get as much support as you can! And then develop a good plan to put into action.

Wishing you the best, Cathy

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