Newly & Nearly bedridden, This is hard

In the past 6 weeks, Mom went from using a walker to being in a wheelchair to barely getting out of bed. Yesterday, I put a cold cloth on her head while she puked after staying in bed all day and not eating. This morning she fell out of bed but didn't get hurt.

She's in a memory unit and on hospice. The decline seems to be accelerating. I miss her and my heart hurts. She has been sleeping more and more while eating less and less. It's now hard for her sitting up for more than a few minutes. But, tomorrow, she might be able to walk some.

Although she can't recall the past 30 years, I mentioned the Big Red Storybook she used to read from when I was a kid. She remembered it! And I still have it. I took it to show her yesterday and she lit up. What a beautiful smile - even though she fell on her face last month and now has half a front tooth.

My emotions seem as eratic as her lewy body. I appreciate this outlet and support. I tend to isolate and hesitate to talk about this with others. Oh how I miss her, even when I'm holding her hand.