I've lost all motivation, no sex drive, depressed. Ideas?

Posted by yeno430 @yeno430, Mar 14, 2021

Had surgery a little over a year ago and have lost all motivation, no interest in sex, depressed. Looking for suggestions on how to get motivation back. As some know sometimes they say nerves will be saved and they aren’t, suggestions on pumps, pills give me headaches, something to try to wake them up. I’m also doing research on penile surgery, I’m desperate. Hard to keep it going.

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I had surgery in September 2019. I was put on Viagra after the catheter was removed. I take it every morning like a vitamin. That gives me a 4-hour window for activity. If I go past that, I have taken a second pill. They take about 45 minutes to kick in. I don't think I'd have much success without them and at 30 cents a pill, how could I go wrong? It was explained to me, if you don't use it, you'll lose it. I also bought a penis-extending device for $500 to maintain length during the healing process.


I am writing from Scandinavia. I had mine prostatectomy on 23rd Nov 2018. While catheter was on, I had mild erections, but these were weak for penetration. Viagra was prescribed but I had headaches and there was not much effect but by 25 Dec I had my first sex but still realised erection did not last more than 6mins. They then changed it 5mg Cialis daily. I realised an improvement. I contacted the hospital and they supplied me with penis pump. This was used in combination with 5mg Cialis from January – March 2019. Anytime I was about to take my bath I used the penis pump to make sure I had blood into the penis – just a way to exercise the penis. In April I stopped using the penis pump as I could now be on the 5mg Cialis. In June I had an appoint with the oncologist and suggested I needed a 20mg Cialis. This time it was not taken daily but on days I planned having sex. I was on 20mg Cialis till the end of 2019. Since 2020 January I do not use the Cialis any longer and I have a normal erection.
I would suggest you try the medication and penis pump. I am already on a hypertension and allergy medication, so I did not even notice taking that additional tablet of Cialis as cumbersome. I was told that there are some sponge-like tissues in the penis. If these are starved of blood for some time, they become inactive. Therefore, I chose to use the penis pump as a way of exercising the penis in addition to male Kegel exercises prescribed by the hospital.
Wish you the best.


HI, I understand your situation. I had surgery in 1995 at age 49 and lost libido, and the ability get a useful erection. I tried viagra, pump, shots into penis, and finally settled for a penile implant. I find the implant very convenient and useful. I noticed that one of the participants used a Cialis regimen with a pump to keep things alive and eventually returned to a new state of normal. If it were available at the time of my surgery, I would have tried that too. In the meantime you might consider getting our book “Making Love Again – Hope for Couples regaining intimacy” it is available on Amazon. I’m not trying to promote book sales, but I think you’ll appreciate the roller coaster journey we shared. Keith Laken

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