I've lost all motivation, no sex drive, depressed. Ideas?

I had surgery in September 2019. I was put on Viagra after the catheter was removed. I take it every morning like a vitamin. That gives me a 4-hour window for activity. If I go past that, I have taken a second pill. They take about 45 minutes to kick in. I don't think I'd have much success without them and at 30 cents a pill, how could I go wrong? It was explained to me, if you don't use it, you'll lose it. I also bought a penis-extending device for $500 to maintain length during the healing process.

I am writing from Scandinavia. I had mine prostatectomy on 23rd Nov 2018. While catheter was on, I had mild erections, but these were weak for penetration. Viagra was prescribed but I had headaches and there was not much effect but by 25 Dec I had my first sex but still realised erection did not last more than 6mins. They then changed it 5mg Cialis daily. I realised an improvement. I contacted the hospital and they supplied me with penis pump. This was used in combination with 5mg Cialis from January – March 2019. Anytime I was about to take my bath I used the penis pump to make sure I had blood into the penis – just a way to exercise the penis. In April I stopped using the penis pump as I could now be on the 5mg Cialis. In June I had an appoint with the oncologist and suggested I needed a 20mg Cialis. This time it was not taken daily but on days I planned having sex. I was on 20mg Cialis till the end of 2019. Since 2020 January I do not use the Cialis any longer and I have a normal erection.
I would suggest you try the medication and penis pump. I am already on a hypertension and allergy medication, so I did not even notice taking that additional tablet of Cialis as cumbersome. I was told that there are some sponge-like tissues in the penis. If these are starved of blood for some time, they become inactive. Therefore, I chose to use the penis pump as a way of exercising the penis in addition to male Kegel exercises prescribed by the hospital.
Wish you the best.

HI, I understand your situation. I had surgery in 1995 at age 49 and lost libido, and the ability get a useful erection. I tried viagra, pump, shots into penis, and finally settled for a penile implant. I find the implant very convenient and useful. I noticed that one of the participants used a Cialis regimen with a pump to keep things alive and eventually returned to a new state of normal. If it were available at the time of my surgery, I would have tried that too. In the meantime you might consider getting our book “Making Love Again - Hope for Couples regaining intimacy” it is available on Amazon. I’m not trying to promote book sales, but I think you’ll appreciate the roller coaster journey we shared. Keith Laken

Same here, but mine was in 2021. I can relate, brother. Does anyone on this thread live in Rochester? I’d enjoy meeting you all for a coffee/informal support group. -Mitch

I am a survivor. The other day I witnessed a beautiful demonstration of public intimacy. Older couple, my age 70+, walking hand in hand on a country road. They were sharing joy, endearing, intimate joy. They radiated love. I felt a spark. Went home. Parked my bike. Entered the house and randomly told my wife I loved her, she smiled. The spark is still there.

Yeno430: you also might want to look for even the smallest good thing in your life to focus on. You might find it gives you a little relief.

I think we all hurt for you. Depression is awful, at least for me really disabling. I think that it would need to be dealt with first. I know, easy to say.
I managed without professional help bydiscuxsing with my family doctor and being honest with my family. Once they understood where my moods and inconsistencies came from they were able to bring me around and the depression faded away. The other problems faded away too.

@mitchm, you might want to attend the Prostate Cancer Support Group which is help simulaneously in person in Rochester and online. That way you can meet some of the local guys and meet up occassionally in a more informal setting.

Next meeting is Feb 14 (ironic that it's Valentine's Day given the topic of this discussion 😉
- Prostate Cancer meeting https://connect.mayoclinic.org/event/prostate-cancer-support-group-101/

I was diagnosed at age 51, had surgery, a year later radiation+2 years ADT, and then another year later, spot radiation and I am one year into 18 months of ADT. It has certainly been an emotional rollercoaster, but over the years (I am 57 now), I have learned much greater acceptance and gratitude. I was generally depressed before my initial diagnosis and am now able to view it as an "awakening" to better appreciate and enjoy life. I have been traveling more, feel less stress and no longer personally responsibility for all that goes wrong at work, etc. I truly believe my diet (mostly plant based, no sugar, moderate alcohol, etc.) and approximately 45 minutes or more of daily exercise (cardio, weights, yoga, trail walks, etc.) play a critical role in mitigating the fatigue and other symptom. I have also spoken to a coupe therapists over the years, which was helpful to be able to completely "unload" to a stranger with thoughts I don't talk about at home. I also use trimix injections, which have worked well for over 6 years. It took me awhile to get comfortable with the process, but it was my only solution that worked.
I wish you the very best!

Has anyone had problems with a groin strain after their prostatetomy? I have had this for 3 months, and am wondering if it was the surgery or perhaps the pump that I was told to use daily.