need help figuring out a fear issue

im 18 and female ive struggled with mental health issues my whole life been going to therpay since 4 and was diagnosed with adhd(combined) and depression im currently diagnosed with bpd/rad (its being dissused) been diagnosed with rad for 2ish yrs now but they said they see more bpd but anways and i have gad, mdd, level 1 autism also sorry if its hard to understand what im saying that i for reading it anyways i wasnt able to get much of a real education my family on both sides have alot of mental health issues with a history of szchoprhina im sorry idk how to spell it and cant use google cus im on google im sorry anyways sorry but anyways to my question thingy ive been having extreme i was calling it paranoia but looking it up i dont think its the right word i have rly strange feelings that something strange is gonna happen like i had a rly bad mental breakdown a couple months ago where i was scared someone was gonne crawl thru the attic door that was in my room and peel off my skin i coudnt stop crying and freaking out and i went to the er and they presribed me xanax i have that feeling still just not as intense like ill stop whatever im doing if i sense something strange and its effecting my life alot i refuse to go outside when its dark and dont wanna do out at all without someone but i do it anyways its just rly hard and i have the tv constanly runnign when im home and led lights always on and its getting expensive cus the eletrict and im home alone most of the time i have an apartment with my bf and he works but i get ssi i just wanna go out and have fun without consantly being on edge i just wanna be able to sit at home without being on edge i just need help labeling i guess i dont wanna talk to my medicaine therpaist about it and im not currnetly in therpay but it would help if i know why or whats happening ( im so fricken tired so sorry if it doesnt make sense but thank you so so much if u read it)