My partner minimized my achievement

I’m saying this as a medical professional, f*ck your partner for that. What he said was out of line and dismissive as hell, and you’re allowed to tell him it hurt you.

What you did today wasn’t small. Speaking up like that, especially with trauma and OCD, goes directly against what your brain has learned to do. That takes real effort and control, that’s not nothing.

Some people downplay things they don’t understand. That doesn’t make it okay, but it can explain why he reacted that way.

It still doesn’t change the reality, what you did matters. It had SO MUCH weight.

You did something a lot of people struggle to do even on stronger anxiety meds. It’s the kind of progress clinicians wish they saw more often.

So sorry a person who is supposed to care about you and support you hurt you like that.
Please tell the therapist about it. Putting down the other person can be one step in an abusive relationship.
Maybe the dr will have some ideas about how to handle this relationship.
Maybe you can talk about why you feel you can’t leave the partner.
I’m glad you had someone with you who was supportive.

ehdog, I suspect that your partner feels personally threatened by exposure. They may know that you "can't" leave them. The fear is that change in you would alter the balance in your relationship.
You may be recognizing a pattern "nothing I achieve matters." Alternately it is a natural tendency to extrapolate when we are hurt. Who wants to be called a dog.
In this vignette I see him as the puppy in the corner crying in fear. Makes you want to pet them. Remember though, they bite.

@gently
Your last sentence is spot on. With dogs, there’s such a thing as a “fear biter”.
When one partner starts to change, frequently there’s resistance from the other. Sometimes this is workable, other times the changer needs to get out in order to get well. It has to be their decision and can be very scary and difficult.
I don’t know enough about this to say which.

@ehdog, God Bless you.

It's sad, but, often times people can put such a stigma on "OCD/Anxiety/Depression" if they do not have it and they think it's no big deal. It is a big deal. I'm so sorry you were hurt. I don't think your friend realizes how hard this was for you to speak up and share your heart.

I know someone that has battled this since they were a child and it's been so hard to for them.

I love what my Pastor said. The mind can get sick just like the body can! So true.

I am praying for you. I think you were very brave and I applaud you.

@covidstinks2023
It’s difficult enough to go through what we go through but even more difficult when you have a partner who doesn’t support you. Just take care of yourself and the hell what anyone thinks

ehdog, what you are feeling is a real problem and your partner definitely crossed the line by diminishing your feelings. I have read what others wrote, and I agree with all of them. I am not excusing your partner but if they are like my husband and myself, in our mid-70's, we grew up with a "suck it up, buttercup" mindset. Especially over the past 10 years, society has been working hard to dismiss such a mindset. Having the courage to recognize what you are going through, talking it out with someone who can help you navigate it, that alone should give you the courage to try and explain to your partner that he hurt you and here is what you need from him/her now. I have to agree with the health professional and "F*** you" to your partner. I responded to someone yesterday who was not getting any answers from her doctor. I told her that she mattered, she was important and if her doctor can't see that or help her, find someone who can. The same is true for you. You are important and you matter. A partner that doesn't have any empathy for what you are experiencing is not worth keeping around. If you can't leave, your doctor may be able to offer some suggestions as to how to deal with your partner. Take care of yourself first.