My dad has a mass on bladder and kidney not functioning

Posted by formydad @formydad, Apr 24, 2019

He is getting surgery tomorrow to remove mass have no idea if cancerous- assuming they will send off – doc said removal may”jump start his kidney which he was unaware is not functioning.. he had prostate cancer and has brach treatment i believe – that cancers gone but i have been reading that having had radiation for it may lead to bladder cancer – anyone experience this?

@formydad

Dad passed away on july 1st.
It was awful for me because i was the last to give him his pain meds at midnight -He did have the rattle going on when i was administering it. It was scary and hard to do. I know better than to blame myself. But at our next check on him at 2am He was gone. He was cremated. We had a service on the 18th and two hours visitation at the funeral home.. mom n i drove the cremains to their plot in ziegler Il.
And are doing the next thing. I’ll be taking care of all mom, bills ect… everything. She has never paid bill in her life and doesnt want to learn. So- ill do it for her.. their are four other kids n im the baby and they have all but disappeared since the funeral. I guess they are just letting me do it. One sister did not attend the funeral. Its sad. One day before dad passed my sister and i were talking with him he sid he wanted a few hours of people talking and pastr n moms pastor to say a few words. And he mentioned he didnt like pastors who bad mouthed the catholic church. He did not specifically mention my moms pastor. I never thought any thing about apparently my sister thought he meant he didnt want her pastor to do anything. See my dad was catholic and raised us kids catholic -No one in my family attends church but mom n i and we go to different non denominational bible believing churches. Anyway Earlier the day before he passed my sister called a pastor to do last rites on dad.. she told my mom she had a priest coming to the house mom told her to do what she wanted to do- i( i was no where around when this encounter took place) so i was in room with my dd and the priest came in to pray. My aunt whom also attends same church as mom walked back in house when priest walked by because she saw my mom was upset and prayed with her in a separate room. So Since then she has not spoken to me or my mom and did not go to funeral. However she and her husband paid for funeral and my brother and i are to go in on it. I have been trying to contact her to pay our portion. She will not answer me. So im waiting on her. Her sons and husband came To funeral. That was nice. I am praying whatever she is angry about that she would choose to forgive..and speak with mom and idk how i got the cold shoulder. I am respecting what my mom wants to do on every level. It was she and dads marriage all i told her was to be sure whatever they talked about together was done and any decisions she made were with pure motives and not vindictive in any way. Thats where i left it. At dads funeral she opted to have her pastor speak at funeral because she felt the priest had come to the house already through my sister. Needless to say im tired. And im now an accountant.. etc… 🙂 thanks for the ears and love and support along this journey. I hope my sister comes around soon its hard for me.

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@formydad. You were a good and caring daughter and showed you parents much love through all of this. You did everything you could and your mother will remember forever..
A big cyber hug from all of us to you and your mom.

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@formydad

Dad passed away on july 1st.
It was awful for me because i was the last to give him his pain meds at midnight -He did have the rattle going on when i was administering it. It was scary and hard to do. I know better than to blame myself. But at our next check on him at 2am He was gone. He was cremated. We had a service on the 18th and two hours visitation at the funeral home.. mom n i drove the cremains to their plot in ziegler Il.
And are doing the next thing. I’ll be taking care of all mom, bills ect… everything. She has never paid bill in her life and doesnt want to learn. So- ill do it for her.. their are four other kids n im the baby and they have all but disappeared since the funeral. I guess they are just letting me do it. One sister did not attend the funeral. Its sad. One day before dad passed my sister and i were talking with him he sid he wanted a few hours of people talking and pastr n moms pastor to say a few words. And he mentioned he didnt like pastors who bad mouthed the catholic church. He did not specifically mention my moms pastor. I never thought any thing about apparently my sister thought he meant he didnt want her pastor to do anything. See my dad was catholic and raised us kids catholic -No one in my family attends church but mom n i and we go to different non denominational bible believing churches. Anyway Earlier the day before he passed my sister called a pastor to do last rites on dad.. she told my mom she had a priest coming to the house mom told her to do what she wanted to do- i( i was no where around when this encounter took place) so i was in room with my dd and the priest came in to pray. My aunt whom also attends same church as mom walked back in house when priest walked by because she saw my mom was upset and prayed with her in a separate room. So Since then she has not spoken to me or my mom and did not go to funeral. However she and her husband paid for funeral and my brother and i are to go in on it. I have been trying to contact her to pay our portion. She will not answer me. So im waiting on her. Her sons and husband came To funeral. That was nice. I am praying whatever she is angry about that she would choose to forgive..and speak with mom and idk how i got the cold shoulder. I am respecting what my mom wants to do on every level. It was she and dads marriage all i told her was to be sure whatever they talked about together was done and any decisions she made were with pure motives and not vindictive in any way. Thats where i left it. At dads funeral she opted to have her pastor speak at funeral because she felt the priest had come to the house already through my sister. Needless to say im tired. And im now an accountant.. etc… 🙂 thanks for the ears and love and support along this journey. I hope my sister comes around soon its hard for me.

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He will always be there as long as you remember him.
Peace be with you.

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Thank you for all your kind words ❤️support Love advice and caring hearts along my journey through bladder cancer for my dad. Im helping mom navigate life now lots of ups and downs and will be- time will heal and i think you lose a lil piece of your heart when you lose a spouse- lil differently than dad. But im here for her and continue to be! Thanks again with all my heart for being here for me.
I may need to go to another thread but i know i had to ask here first a friend of mine i used to work with years ago has called me and told me she has cancer. Just found out. Lung cancer mass golf ball size in upper left lung wont be able to get biopsy till next week. Shes been through the ringer has lost her parents to different cancers and her brother to suicide many years ago. Shes one tough cookie but caught off guard. She never smoked is wondering why and everything that comes with it. Of course i told her i would hook her up with the best aupport place ever! This place! – who can direct me!? So i can lead her to some support. She has a very loving family and kids but shes the glue of the family and worried about them. Thanks so much in advance! I know this is a loving helpful -informative- supportive place and i want to pass it on to my sweet friend Tammy! I still believe everything happens for a reason. I havent heard from her in many years she reached out to me a few weeks ago then called me today with this news. God has a plan. And He is STILL Good and on the Throne! My love to you all!

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@formydad

Thank you for all your kind words ❤️support Love advice and caring hearts along my journey through bladder cancer for my dad. Im helping mom navigate life now lots of ups and downs and will be- time will heal and i think you lose a lil piece of your heart when you lose a spouse- lil differently than dad. But im here for her and continue to be! Thanks again with all my heart for being here for me.
I may need to go to another thread but i know i had to ask here first a friend of mine i used to work with years ago has called me and told me she has cancer. Just found out. Lung cancer mass golf ball size in upper left lung wont be able to get biopsy till next week. Shes been through the ringer has lost her parents to different cancers and her brother to suicide many years ago. Shes one tough cookie but caught off guard. She never smoked is wondering why and everything that comes with it. Of course i told her i would hook her up with the best aupport place ever! This place! – who can direct me!? So i can lead her to some support. She has a very loving family and kids but shes the glue of the family and worried about them. Thanks so much in advance! I know this is a loving helpful -informative- supportive place and i want to pass it on to my sweet friend Tammy! I still believe everything happens for a reason. I havent heard from her in many years she reached out to me a few weeks ago then called me today with this news. God has a plan. And He is STILL Good and on the Throne! My love to you all!

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@formydad, My thoughts and a nod of understanding for what you are doing for your mom at this difficult time. From my own experience, I remember helping my mom after my dad died. It was a long time ago, but the love and emotions will remain within me forever. On some days, just being available is a blessing.
There is a Lung Cancer Group on Connect. Here is a link that you can share with your friend. She is not alone on her journey and will be welcomed by other members, and by fellow mentor, @merpreb, who shares her own journey with lung cancer.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/lung-cancer/

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@formydad

Thank you for all your kind words ❤️support Love advice and caring hearts along my journey through bladder cancer for my dad. Im helping mom navigate life now lots of ups and downs and will be- time will heal and i think you lose a lil piece of your heart when you lose a spouse- lil differently than dad. But im here for her and continue to be! Thanks again with all my heart for being here for me.
I may need to go to another thread but i know i had to ask here first a friend of mine i used to work with years ago has called me and told me she has cancer. Just found out. Lung cancer mass golf ball size in upper left lung wont be able to get biopsy till next week. Shes been through the ringer has lost her parents to different cancers and her brother to suicide many years ago. Shes one tough cookie but caught off guard. She never smoked is wondering why and everything that comes with it. Of course i told her i would hook her up with the best aupport place ever! This place! – who can direct me!? So i can lead her to some support. She has a very loving family and kids but shes the glue of the family and worried about them. Thanks so much in advance! I know this is a loving helpful -informative- supportive place and i want to pass it on to my sweet friend Tammy! I still believe everything happens for a reason. I havent heard from her in many years she reached out to me a few weeks ago then called me today with this news. God has a plan. And He is STILL Good and on the Throne! My love to you all!

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@formydad– Good morning. Please follow me to the lung cancer site. There are many of us who have had or have all different sorts of lung cancer. Many people get lung cancer without having been exposed to any cigarette smoke. There's a saying, "If you have lungs you can get lung cancer".

Will you ask your friend to go to: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/lung-cancer/?

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@formydad

Thank you for all your kind words ❤️support Love advice and caring hearts along my journey through bladder cancer for my dad. Im helping mom navigate life now lots of ups and downs and will be- time will heal and i think you lose a lil piece of your heart when you lose a spouse- lil differently than dad. But im here for her and continue to be! Thanks again with all my heart for being here for me.
I may need to go to another thread but i know i had to ask here first a friend of mine i used to work with years ago has called me and told me she has cancer. Just found out. Lung cancer mass golf ball size in upper left lung wont be able to get biopsy till next week. Shes been through the ringer has lost her parents to different cancers and her brother to suicide many years ago. Shes one tough cookie but caught off guard. She never smoked is wondering why and everything that comes with it. Of course i told her i would hook her up with the best aupport place ever! This place! – who can direct me!? So i can lead her to some support. She has a very loving family and kids but shes the glue of the family and worried about them. Thanks so much in advance! I know this is a loving helpful -informative- supportive place and i want to pass it on to my sweet friend Tammy! I still believe everything happens for a reason. I havent heard from her in many years she reached out to me a few weeks ago then called me today with this news. God has a plan. And He is STILL Good and on the Throne! My love to you all!

Jump to this post

@formydad Bless you and your family as you navigate this time of grieving and adjusting. What a heartfelt thing to do for Tammy, and it warms me to read you got so much from posting here with us! Like @rosemarya and @merpreb mentioned, the lung cancer group is a great place to start for her.
And, how are you doing yourself?
Ginger

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