Metastatic Breast Cancer treatment options

Technically metastatic cancer is not curable. But there are treatments that can help (but not cure). To me, a lay person, it looks like the cancer is in the breast (inflammatory) and bones, but not the lymph nodes or organs (which is good). But the oncologist should read and explain these to you. I am not qualified. However, as a past breast cancer patient I just want to offer support as you and your wife go through this with the help of oncologists. You can be direct as you like with your questions to them and they need to give you all the information you need going forward.

Thanks

Ah geez! This is just a really hard way to find out you have inflammatory breast cancer. This is a difficult cancer because it often gets diagnosed later than you would hope. Was this your wife’s first diagnosis or is this a recurrence? Are you being seen at a large clinic or cancer center? Are you going to try and get a 2nd or 3rd consult?

This was the first diagnosis after an annual mammogram then biopsy with scans. The hospital system she’s using is part of a large North Carolina hospital group which is very credible. The doctors who found this were Breast center surgeons who then referred her to the hospital cancer center. So the surgeon is part of Duke University system and the Hospital and the oncologist is part of the hospital who works in conjunction with the surgeon from Duke. It just really seems with the surgeon said there’s no use for surgery, or radiation and the oncologist saying we will stop chemo whenever you decide. Plus having the oncologist saying it was bad very bad, and the surgeon saying it was aggressive cancer and fast growing. We are feeling like this is the end and there’s no hope.

We have 2 sources we are using, the Duke University doctor and the very large Hospital system cancer center group an hour away from us..

Wow, what a horrible first diagnosis.I know that inflammatory is a tough nut to crack. I am glad she is getting the best doctors, but I am sorry they don’t have more to offer.
How is your wife doing now?

She is barely eating because of the chemo making almost everything she tries to eat taste bad. The number of doctors working together on different aspects of her cancer are very kind but glum about the outlook, so that really depresses her. She’ll just sits at the kitchen table until she gets sleepy then goes back to bed. She is giving all her jewelry to our daughters now when they fly in to visit. So we’re talking about just stopping chemo and go rent a place at the beach until she can’t hold up.

@tucsonmike do you have hospice involved? It may not be available while chemo is going on but can be very helpful. My mother was on three times for months each time so you don't have to be imminently dying.

Your idea of renting a place at the beach is exactly what I want to do if my cancer spreads

So sorry you are going through this. Have doctors come out with a time frame at all?

No, but I asked the oncologist about palative care. The oncologist said not yet. Which is really confusing coming from the oncologist who said to my wife you can go ahead and stop chemo if your quality of life isn’t good on the chemo.

That doesn’t really make sense does it. You might also ask to talk to a patient advocate, sometimes they have more time to sit and talk with you to work out decisions. I wish we would have stopped my brothers treatments sooner and had a little more time “at the beach”. He kept wanting to try even after the doctor said he didn’t have anything more to offer.
Ultimately I just supported whatever decisions he made, I did ask the questions and made sure he understood that he really had to decide. I wrote it all down when we would talk so I wouldn’t forget when the emergencies came.
These conversations are soooooo hard. Hard to ask harder to answer.
Have you talked about advance directives?