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I'm so glad we did this about 6 months before he was unable to help make those decisions. We finished up about Thanksgiving and the next May he was taken to a Senior Behavioral Center for evaluation. His ability to understand or sign his name had deteriorated to the point he couldn't have done that anymore. There were still plenty of decisions that I had to make for him, but at least we had the major ones taken care of. God be with you in these difficult times.

I'm so glad we took care of the legal stuff when we did as my husband was was unable to make decisions or sign his name six months later. There were still many things I needed to take care of but the major things were done. God be with you.

@ltw. Hello and welcome to Connect. We’re glad you found us! This is such difficult planning for you to do, but so smart at the same time. Can you give me a little more information, like how is his health overall, is the diagnosis of dementia new? Are you concerned about you own health and being able to help him? Please get back to me, I care

Hi @ltw - I'm glad you found Connect. Welcome to this group... My husband has dementia, too, and I know there are so many aspects of it that can be confusing and just feel totally daunting. I can tell you what I did - I went to a local attorney that specialized in elder care to get advice on what I should do. We had had our wills, POA's, health care proxies, etc. done in 2010. She told me that the law had changed a couple of years after that and I needed to get his documents updated so that I would have all of the authority I needed should something happen to him. Then, she walked me through what we needed to do to protect assets if the time came that he needed residential care. Finally, she worked with me on plans for what would happen to him if I weren't here. I think its important that you have all of those angles covered. And, I agree with @IndianaScott Scott that the laws vary so much by state, you would need to find someone local. Was your husband's diagnosis recent?

@debbraw Your post made me realize that I need to review my own documents, and exert a bit more pressure on my husband to get his own documents in order. This is especially true now that we have bought property together, and in a different state. For some reason, he has been reluctant to complete his side of things, while I had mine done before we even met, and have tweaked it since. While we are both of semi-sound mind and body, now is the time. Thank you for your reminder!
Ginger

@gingerw - Glad it helped! It is a little daunting to go through all of this, but it is definitely the kindest thing you can do for your partner - in both directions. Tell you husband that! LOL

@debbraw Yes, I will tell him once again when he comes up here next week with another load of household goods. He has been procrastinating for 2 years now. And dollars-to-donuts, he will now probably say "I'll just wait until I am up there with you full time, next Spring".
Ginger

Hi, Caregiver was one of the hardest job I ever worked one which I will never regret. I spend a good portion of my life to care for my parents and helped took care of my grandparents. Caregiving had many challenges, one of them is I work full time and I felt like my boss and some of my colleagues did not understand why I had to take a day off to take my mom for a medical appointment. Comments were not helpful. Caregiving was tough and scary; I should not had to fear losing my job or incurred financial hardship because of my caregiver duties. Laws needs to be change to lessen the burden on caregivers in the workplace.

@lizny Good morning, sunshine. Yes, caregiving is a hard and thankless job. But, when you look back, you’ll know that you did the right thing. When others have their turn caregiving, you’ll be right there to help them. Thank you for everything you did.

Hi @lizny - I agree that caregiving is often underappreciated and challenging. My husband has dementia and it is sometimes a rollercoaster here! It sounds as if you gave your parents and grandparents a lot of love. You can always feel good about that. You use the past tense when you speak of your caregiving? Are you still a caregiver?