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Many Kinds of Grief
As you age it becomes inevitable that you will lose more people more frequently. I have certainly experienced that pain. But I am grieving for another reason. It's a reason I haven't talked to family and friends about. It somehow seems trivial compared to human loss.
I was a professional musician since I was 15 years old (total of 58 years). Then extremely rapid onset of severe arthritis destroyed my ability to play any instrument - or even to hold them. Music was my life, my living, and a seminal part of my identity. All that remains is
deep grief. I don't know how to adapt. I just needed to tell someone. Thank you.
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@claudia2 That is so much loss in such a short period of time. How lovely that you and your husband were married for 58 years which makes the loss so difficult. You and your husband opened your hearts and your home to your yellow lab and then your shepherd mix who was 8 years old when you adopted her. It is very sad that you did not have more time with the shepherd mix and yet I'm thinking that the time you did have with her was wonderful and loving for the two of you.
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1 ReactionClaudia2,
I am so sorry for all your losses this year! Gosh, your husband of 58 years! That must have been a wonderful 58 years. And, then to lose your two wonderful pets! How sad! I have a similar situation in that my good friend of 20 years died in May and then my husband of 30 years also died in July. We didn't have pets at this time but the neighbor's cat just loved me and came over a lot. Then, they moved and so did the cat! I feel like you must feel; sort of lost. I have to admit that I wondered why God didn't want me too? Why did I get left behind? However, death is in God's time and not ours. We just have to accept it as best as we can. Pray to God and ask for strength. Be thankful that those who are now gone are out of pain and up in Heaven. Which is where we'll be eventually with them; family, good friends, and pets. I really believe that because I saw my mother after she died and I also saw my St. Bernard dog after he died. So, we all will be together again someday. It's just the waiting that's hard. When it gets too hard to deal with just say a prayer. God will make it better for you.
I'll say a prayer for you also.
PML
People express concern when you lost a loved one. Never when you lost a pet you had for years. And well - who will walk with me as I grieve the person I was before my catastrophic illness that has left me a completely different person
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1 ReactionNot to make light of what you are going thru
AND
I am not even religious, but when I think of what I can't do,
I say I am going to come back ( reincarnation?) as a tall, thin red-head
who can play the piano & sing, and have more children. It calms me in
some way to think we may have more opportunities in the future to do
or be . Nice suggestions to help young folk & to sing in a choir...... I am
going to try the choir where I live...K
Maybe you will be like the "Phoenix," and become a
new person/ a different person..... & that is o.k. maybe a plus!
"Musicians don't retire; they stop when there's
no more music in them." Louis Armstrong
I am reading "Old Age is always 15 Years older Than I Am" by
Randy Voorhees & thought of you, mcdm. It sounds like
you
still have a lot of music in you... 🙂 K