Loveless marriage

@londonex

Interesting to come across this article about loneliness in marriage - part of the modern epidemic of loneliness. I hope all these comments have given you much to think about in your particular circumstances 🙏❤️‍🩹

Unless you believe in reincarnation (I wish I did but I don’t) this life is what we have 🙏❤️‍🩹
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/loneliness-marriage-staying-connected_n_67adfc5be4b0d5971dbd5f56

Wait… wait..
Dear @londonex
Marriage is hard; even per day. In 1982, as a 27 year-young man; I was married; and still here for the last 42 years. It’s still hard. I has a brain-I jury accident in 2012. I lost 80% of my brain-use like my knowledge or professional usage. A couple 2 weeks ago, he and me had as so made and feel down my head by trying to hold down. That’s not good. I went to a hospital that, thankfully, was ok.

Well, my families NEVER used marriage. My dad & mom was married until that day of my marriage. After that, they ended of thier marriage.

Three weeks ago, after my falling down in my head, her and me used a pro-users online so we use know of our marriage. What’s good or bad of what we can do.

Know, it’s every 2 weeks a day 1-hour with pro-her and talk of what we a did. Know we get better than before and seeing if what we did over decades ago. The type of love, kids, families, and today.

Thx,
Greg D. @greg1956

I got married for the second time after many years of single life. I met the most amazing and beautiful woman I had ever met. We got married and boom , three weeks in she over dosed on pills and booze. Attempts continued , after 10 months she was gone. Walked out the door. After the fact she is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder plus other demons from her past. I feel that I was betrayed in every way from this person . After the attempts on her life it put me into deep depression that I am still struggling to get the proper help. Meds are great but so far nothing has worked for me. Also trying to figure out how and what to do to rid my heart from this marriage.

I’m sorry for your pain and loss, it’s very traumatic to go through this, so many feelings are involved from pain, anger and even betrayal. I know that you must be feeling lost and hurt trying to figure out what to do next. I think that perhaps joining a therapy group with people that have experienced this kind of trauma, it’s very helpful to find comfort in numbers, if you prefer one on one therapy it’s also a good choice. It’s a good start to reaching out here for answers, you are looking for support and that’s a good start, it will take time to feel better but eventually you’ll get there, don’t give up hope because it’s a strong emotion, good luck with your recovery.

Try having a conversation about: What do you need to feel loved? And both of you answer that question.
Physical: Hugs, kisses, sex
Emotional: I like to be told often that I'm loved.
What you do for me,

@londonex are you still together? I divorced last year after 25 years together. I started dealing with some health issues and he was so nonchalant and distant. We were living like roommates too and once he retired he was lost and eventually had an affair. In hindsight he was emotionally disconnected for so long. Funny thing is he checks in on me (loneliness? regret?) . Living alone after so many years is tough but it's better than being lonely with someone. Who knows maybe one day a nice guy will come along?

in the same boat!!!

@londonex
Wow this describes my life to a tee!!
Strictly housemates who seem to hate everything about each other after 30 years of marriage and two wonderful grown kids.
I’ve hesitated, leaving for fear of alienating, my children, which would kill me. But if they’re grown ages, they know what’s going on, and I tend to think now that they would be accepting of the decision as long as it meant that mom and dad would be slightly happier. Such a tough situation that seems so intractable and unsolvable at times. The sad part is that while all of this introspection has gone on, time has marched on and I fear it is too late to make such a significant change. The ultimate choice is between walking to the end of the diving board and deciding to dive into an uncertain pool of water or sticking with a safe, but painful and isolating existence.

@londonex, I was married twice and neither marriage was successful, I never married again but I set up home with a friend and that was over 30 years ago, I think it lasted because we never married, go figure!

Whew, I was surprised to come across this topic. Louisy, thinking partially of you as I write this. I am 70 and my husband 78. I had been married 16 years, divorced for 5 before meet ing my husband. I had 2 young daughters. He had never been married nor lived with a woman. We went together 13 years before marrying. We married when he was 65. When he retired a couple years later is when everything changed. he had been a workaholic. Retirement put him in a depression that he still or even moreso suffers from. On top of that, no longer working, PTSD from his Vietnam years arose. A big part of PTSD is detachment. He has totally become detached from just about everything including me. For someone who treated me as an equal and had managed his own life very independent, he now relies on me for so much. You'd think he'd never made a decision or cleaned a house before, picked up after himself. Most of it falls on me. Hard to feel love with all that going on. Not to mention because of the depression, he has had no interest in sex. He only hears the negativity from me. So if I thanked him he would hear it but dwell on negative aspects. He's an introvert so never said a lot but now it's like he's mute. He's so inside his head that I think sometimes he thinks he has had a conversation with me. He refuses to wear his hearing aids. I could go on and on. He used to be so kind and thoughtful . He adored my daughters. One has a 4 year old. This was his chance to be a grandfather and have all those experiences. He was fabulous with my daughters when they were growing up. Now he can't put himself out. I can't let it get me down. I finally retired this year because I was exhausted. I keep myself busy, I have lots of friends I do things with. I go on trips without him. It is so sad our marriage has turned into everything we didn't want. The last therapist we went to finally dismissed us saying until he deals with his depression, nothing more can be done. He has tried different modalities but I feel he just wants it to go away without really putting in the work. I can't let him drag me down so I make my life as full with what I want to do.