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Loveless marriage

Posted by londonex @londonex, Dec 26, 2024

Wife and I have grown apart over many years and feel more like house mates / strangers than a couple. Really concerned about how the accompanying isolation and hopelessness are affecting my long-term health. Anyone else in this situation and have any recommendations, other than couples therapy which doesn’t seem to work well at this juncture?
Thanks much.

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isadora2021 | @isadora2021 | 6 days ago
In reply to @isadora2021 "@londonex It’s not easy to answer and there’s a lot you don’t say! My parents DID..." + (show)
@isadora2021

@londonex

It’s not easy to answer and there’s a lot you don’t say!

My parents DID love each other, but my mother was no longer in love with my father.

They were “old school” where you abided by your commitment, didn’t cheat and didn’t divorce. You made it work.

I can remember clearly problems starting from when my siblings and I were very young (under 10; I was 4). There was a lot of verbal fighting and animosity from my mother towards my father for years while their mutual disappointment and conflicting expectations clashed. They tried to do it out of sight of us but we could feel the tension and hear the arguments.

We still had a great family life - despite that bubbling volcano.

When one was prepared to go to counselling, the other one wasn’t!

They then finally transitioned into living peacefully and happily - happy to be best friends in separate bed rooms with a lot of shared interests including travelling, bridge, golf and tennis. It worked for them.

None of us can tell you what you should do.

You need to work out what you want from life and whether you’re ready and need to split your assets and strike out on your own to achieve those goals.

If so. Go for it. If not, try and find a workable solution 🤔

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@londonex

Interesting to come across this article about loneliness in marriage - part of the modern epidemic of loneliness. I hope all these comments have given you much to think about in your particular circumstances 🙏❤️‍🩹

Unless you believe in reincarnation (I wish I did but I don’t) this life is what we have 🙏❤️‍🩹
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/loneliness-marriage-staying-connected_n_67adfc5be4b0d5971dbd5f56

REPLY
gregd1956 | @gregd1956 | 5 days ago

Wait… wait..
Dear @londonex
Marriage is hard; even per day. In 1982, as a 27 year-young man; I was married; and still here for the last 42 years. It’s still hard. I has a brain-I jury accident in 2012. I lost 80% of my brain-use like my knowledge or professional usage. A couple 2 weeks ago, he and me had as so made and feel down my head by trying to hold down. That’s not good. I went to a hospital that, thankfully, was ok.

Well, my families NEVER used marriage. My dad & mom was married until that day of my marriage. After that, they ended of thier marriage.

Three weeks ago, after my falling down in my head, her and me used a pro-users online so we use know of our marriage. What’s good or bad of what we can do.

Know, it’s every 2 weeks a day 1-hour with pro-her and talk of what we a did. Know we get better than before and seeing if what we did over decades ago. The type of love, kids, families, and today.

Thx,
Greg D. @greg1956

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