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Lost my daughter to suicide will be 2 years ago in 2 days
I can not handle my new real reality try to occupy my mind with anything else to stay out of it .it's to painful to live in but I can't escape it. We are not meant to be alive and our children gone. Life has knocked me down so many times and I've always been strong got right back up refused to be beat but loosing her destroyed me I have no strength or desire to stand back up my heart is broke my mind is screwed up I have 2 more grown children and 2 grandkids they are the only reason I'm still breathing I don't want to be here to be feeling this pain that words can't begin to explain but I will not put more pain on my kids they are broken too so I am here just existing forced to go through life doing life stuff like make money to pay bills when I don't even want to breath this pain can't be fixed she will never be here again if I were to loose either one of my living children or either grandchild I already made it known I will not stay to feel this pain multiplied it's already more then I can handle this is a lonely painful path I was forced to walk alone people can't handle my pain or the word suicide it's like it's something contagious or if it's not spoken it'll go away but we are loosing so many every min of every day to that horrible word and unless it happens to you then you really can't know the way it leaves you destroyed
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My dear friend just lost her daughter two months. I think it must be a different pain for a mom. She left behind a young son. Just an hour before she spoke to her she was fine. She also found her which must be the hardest thing. I’ve experienced the loss of parents but not my own children. I have no words for her and other than being there to listen I can’t seem to do much more.
I don't understand her pain. It makes it hard. She wants nothing to do with group therapy, therapy alone or any conversation about god and I get it. She’s angry one day, so depressed the next.
We do all seem to get through the pain of death in our own way. Some need years and that’s fine. I just want to be there for her but sometimes she wants nothing to do with people.
I don’t know how you will do it. I think you will because I think it’s what humans always do. We experience life and death in our culture and will continue to do that. I think you need someone to just listen to you. They can’t give opinions, just listen. It might be a happy memory you sharing or a day your angry and mad at her. I think just someone to listen. I’m so sorry for your loss and I can only hope you find a way to figure out why you’re supposed to be here. Find a good friend who will listen. I wish you happiness in your life.
Want to add something after receiving my daughters things back from the police and reading her autopsy I learned the only other person in the house had lied to police when they asked what happened then told them the version they took as the truth when I got into her phone I found a text between her and this same person she was telling him when he was gone she had gotten his gun inending on ending her life but couldn't he said he had to do something with that gun so she could not get it again but it was 10 days after this text when he left his loaded unsecured gun laying on a table in the room my daughter was in but when I called the detective I was told there was nothing he could be charged with a few months back we learned of the charge of criminally negligent homicide everything he failed to do meets all the requirements of that charge I can not understand why they refuse to charge him and wish I knew how to get it enforced so no one else is forced to go through this knowing it could've been avoided she would still be alive if he had not been negligent in his responsibity of securing it him knowing her state of mind today 1/12 is the 2year anniversary and the day my soul broke her sisters birthday 2 days away and mine 3 from the worst day of my life
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2 ReactionsThank you and thank you for being there for your friend she knows you can't fix it and don't expect it willing to stay by her not run away means so much to her I'm sure
Thank you and that's exactly correct no words can show how it really feels only living it can and I pray for anyone who has or will know this pain if I could save another from this pain I would
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2 ReactionsSorry for your loss of your daughter I hate cancer it is horrible and takes too many also I lost my mom to cancer when I was 12 years old
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2 ReactionsA boyfriend was the last who spoke to her daughter as well. He was abusive, but autopsy showed asphyxiation. He was the last on her text as well. There were no real signs here. She had a somewhat troubled life, only 32. But,the past two years were excellent. I wish I had answers for my friend. I just am here for her but kids involved, parents not married, child on spectrum and my friend wants custody, but won’t happen. His birth dad not a bad dad, but doesn’t get autism and all the services he needs. Not to mention the child wants to stay with his grandmother. It’s all so sad.
Hang in there, one day at a time.
It should be comforting to know that your daughter is in the
merciful arms of our Lord, Jesus Christ. No one ever dies, but
moves on to another world. Your daughter is in a world of
eternal bliss, and you will be united with her.
We should connect I am a man, but it helps to join people in similar pain