I'm at the point right now where I feel like Tom Hanks in "Saving Private Ryan" when he has moments where he goes through discomforting dream like states. I hope for the best but don't trust my instincts to make rational choices. I would really appreciate any thoughts that anyone has. Thanks, Ed
I made decisions in my life that put me here and I’m trying to get out. All of the heartache and failures of my life were muted by the abuse of alcohol. I met my girlfriend or ex almost one year ago.
It wasn’t long after that I knew that she was the love of my life and still is. On our second date she knew about my past. Being fired from PNC for sending out email through my personal email. Losing my home in Northern Kentucky and walking away last September when I feared repossession of my car.
Losing my car last July and then going to a homeless shelter. I have been there five months and seen a lot of horrible things. But all of this seemed manageable because I knew that my girlfriend, Lisa loved me no matter what happened.
Unfortunately the toll that this took on her was unimaginable. Picking me up, dropping me off and spending a good part of her life in helping me through what is a terrible situation.
I haven’t talked to my family in the last six months because I’m pretty sure that they don’t know how to help my situation.
Now I’m at a point in my life where I need to rally myself and save enough money to move out of the shelter. My long-term goal was to spend the rest of my life with Lisa and still is.
So I face a choice. I either rally or fold. My motto of have faith and no fear holds. I have nothing to lose because everything is lost.
I have full faith that God will help me through my crisis. I just have to get to the point.