Long-term use of sleep meds

11 years ago, my partner of 14 yrs, who is now deceased(2018) who had severe chronic illnesses was 3000 miles away and became deathly ill and could not return. I was devastated and did not sleep for three consecutive entire nights. I felt I was having a breakdown.
My psychiatrist prescribed both .5 mg of Ativan and 25 mg of hydroxyzine Pamoate and it worked like a charm. About five years ago, I must’ve built up a tolerance because it was not working and I wasn’t sleeping well so I took an extra 25 mg of hydroxyzine pamoate, which the doctor allowed, and which worked for a while…a couple years ago I incorporated 5-10 mg of medicinal cannabis gummies(legal in my state)…Fast-forward to today… I take 50 mg of hydroxyzine pamoate, .5 mg of lorazepam, 2 mg of melatonin, along with magnesium and a cannabis, gummy for sleep(5-10mg)….
About a month ago, I traveled to Europe for 16 days and when I returned, I was unable to sleep. I attributed it to the jet lag, but it has been over a month and I’m taking all these meds, but not sleeping thru the night. Sometimes I can’t fall asleep, sometimes the liquid melatonin under the tongue would work, but that stopped as well. When it did work I’d fall asleep but wake up to use the bathroom and I could not fall back asleep. Sometimes I will get 2 to 3 hours sleep then up for a few hours and if I’m lucky fall semi-consciously asleep in the morning., but often I can’t fall asleep again. Many days I have no energy. Prior to my trip I was going to the gym 3 to 4 times a week. I’ve been to the gym only three times since returning because I don’t have the energy. Sometimes I’m just unable to get off the couch or sometimes I don’t feel motivated to get a shower and start my day. I feel as though I am becoming depressed from lack of sleep. I’ve tried to wean myself or taper off of the Ativan but as soon as I reduce it even by a quarter of a milligram, I don’t sleep. My PCP just switched the lorazepam to a liquid form so I only take .25 of the liquid as it’s more concentrated so it helps me to fall asleep but I’m waking up between 12 midnight & 2am and up for 4-5 hrs and can’t fall back asleep.
I’m at a total loss how get off these meds and fall asleep naturally. I was a good sleeper prior to the incident I mentioned earlier. I’m 73 yrs old , and in good health.. but feel it’s declining from lack of sleep. PCP wanted me to take ambien, but that scares me. I need some advice or suggestions to taper off. Thank you for letting me vent and taking the time to read my post.