Living with Parkinson's Disease - Meet others & come say hi

@knightkris Thank you for sharing your story (and your mom's story) of loss with @johnjames and with the rest of us at Mayo Connect. Loss is a real part of disabling diseases. We not only lose our physical abilities and our strength but we can also lose the company of our friends and family. I suppose that is why I'm such a strong proponent of support groups. Support groups help us to adjust to a "new normal" and give us "living examples" of people who have walked the pathway that we are walking. I know it is very difficult for some people to make that step to attending a support group, some people are "private" but just attending, even if you don't share or say anything, provides a great place of solace and support. It also teaches us that we are not really alone nor do we have to be lonely. There are others who are willing to carry our burdens with us. Best wishes as you walk this journey of loss. I would encourage you to find a grief support group in your area. You are dealing with many losses right now and the loss of your mom is big one. Best wishes and keep in touch with us. We are "all ears."

Hello JohnJames

I do understand very much what you are going through. I took care of my mother for over a dozen years and through out that time, all of my friends stopped talking to me. My mother's family, the rest of them, including my sisters, stopped coming to see mom or just came once in a while. My answer has always been, buck up, it is your mother and to bad if you don't want to see her that way. Get a grip.

But during my mother's last years of life I was diagnosed with PD,then the next year I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, then this past year diabetes, This past January is when my mother passed away, So I am dealing with this loss as well. This compounds the situation further. . Plus everything else that was wrong with me before these diagnoses. Between my mother and my friends thinking that I could be making better use of my time, ( Taking care of my mother was the biggest gift I could of every received), car accidents and everything that has happened since, I don't have any friends left.

I know what it is like to be alone, I have experienced this allot in my life.,But being lonely, this is something different. This I can't get use to. I think it is everyone's loss that they can't deal with these issues. It should bring people closer, but most are afraid of things they can't understand. They are afraid of their own mortality. Again their loss.

John if you need to talk or write in this case, feel free to do so. I do understand what you are going through.

Kris

Thanks- I live in the Desert Ridge area, and looking for a group that starts after 11am. I can't get moving until that time, the body just doesn't work. Thanks again JJAMES

@johnjames You are right! He does not turn the other way, He is always there! I have no doubt that you will have the courage to walk through this valley as you have walked through so many others. (Also, if you give me the general geographic area where you live I might be able to find a PD support group and then you can make a decision to go when you feel ready.) Blessings!

johnjames, Colleen connected your name and mine, I think because I have been involved in the PD/mental health combination for quite awhile: Bipolar Disorder for some 40+ years and PD for who knows how long. I think of them as the two "rulers of my life" - and I am not always sure which one is on top. We talk about stigma a lot with mental health, but what PD people 'receive' from their friends is about the same thing! Really the only thing you can do is get to the point where you know "you are the one in charge of you" and what the others think is really their problem. It is easy (and I know it first hand) to pull back and just remain alone, but being the 'only one in charge of you' when you pull back, the 'only one you are hurting" is also your. Want to talk more, just let me know! Trouble4343

@johnjames
No, it doesn't sound like a cop-out. I've always been pretty quiet and inward, and it's difficult for me, too - also with family, some of whom I've fallen away from over the years, too. I get it.

Best wishes,

Macbeth

I have been looking for a support group- and not been real sucessfull in that area, it me I'm sure, being a retired soldier after 40 plus years-it hard to be around allot of people. Hope that doesn't sound like a cop out. Thanks much JJAMES

Thank you for sharing- right now I'm at the complete " burned out level" in time I'm sure-as you said it will get better, it's hard to believe friends and family -after 20-30 years turn the other way. WOW- Thank God He doesn't HOOAH

@johnjames
I totally understand. The same thing has happened to my husband, who has dementia, and myself. Friends, and most family, have done the disappearing act. I saw the same thing happen with my parents - who had been VERY involved, social people - when my father had Alzheimer's.

I'm not sure what that is about. A lot of people who are relatively well just don't want to deal with illness - even the ill person's children, often do not want to deal with it. I also think that many, if not most, people in our society, get pretty freaked out about anything that effects the brain, cognition, functionality. There is a real lack of maturity in many people when it comes to those things.

If you could become involved in a support group, at least there would surely be others who have the same situation as you do, who would understand what you are going through, and may even have some helpful suggestions, or may be interested in having coffee some time. I'm still working on this myself. It may not be our preference, but, at least, it is something, and it is a place to start.

Wishing you strength and success.

Macbeth

Hi JohnJames, Thanks for having the courage to reach out when your instinct is to isolate yourself. I'm bringing @trouble4343 into this conversation because she, too, has experience with Parkinson's and managing mental health.