1. < Just Want to Talk

Living in the world today

Posted by pvctom2021 @pvctom2021, Mar 21 11:06am

Hello to all

I have to post this as a ‘just want to talk’ with the discussion group…I woke this morning with a serious case of anxiety and part of it probably reflects the event of yesterday…the title of this topic..
I was in Walmart yesterday in a self checkout line with a medium order..the first line of machinery was blocked off.. I noticed behind me a lady in her late 40’s mid fifties wanting to move by me to the other side of the checkout machines…they were being used but I mentioned that I could move my basket if she wanted to get by..she replied no, I will back up and start over again.. I didn’t think 🤔 much about it until I was finished scanning and the chip reader malfunctioned…Walmart was crowded and very noisy, therefore to get the young man’s attention to the problem, I was forced to yell over to him to get him to see that I was having trouble..he was a nice young guy…I would say Latin American who agreed with my comment that these machines ought to be taken out, they seem to be more problematic than time consuming…the point is, at some point behind me, the lady who wanted to get by, met my eye as the assistant and myself started to move to another machine, and glared at me, Iwas about to ask her something, I’m not sure what, when she uttered the statement’I can only be embarrassed for you’, I’ve never seen or heard such rudeness’…I was stunned, but I did say to her, ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about lady’…the rest went fast, the young man scanned the ticket info from the malfunctioned reader and I was off. I thanked him, and he was nice said ‘have a nice one’ and then she called him over and started apologizing to him for my behavior…my Irish went up on that and I yelled over to her,and said ‘lady, I don’t know what your problem is, but you should mind your own business’….that’s as mild as I could keep it….and I left…I’ve been shopping there for years, have had nothing but nice experiences from customers and employees who help me in many ways…but this is the world we live in today…this woman looked stressed to the …she had that deranged look in her eye…it really gave me the creeps…the tension and stress that people are going through these days can sometimes cross the food checkout lines….🙏pvctom

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Mentor
Lori, Volunteer Mentor | @loribmt | Mar 21 11:57am

Hi @pvctom2021 Encounters like that can sure leave you rattled, can’t they? I’ve had a few myself over the past few years and for the life of me, I can’t imagine doing that to someone! I think when you’re a nice person, rude behavior is so contrary to your own thought patterns that you can’t fathom why someone would say something hurtful to you or anyone else. This was on her! You did nothing wrong. Obviously the woman has her personal issues and is projecting them onto you.

My most recent run in with a person actually left me laughing. It was so absurd. I was in a grocery store with my husband. We split up so that I could go grab something in another part of the store. As I was walking briskly, there was an older woman (not judging, I’m 70) walking in my direction. As she got closer, I smiled and she blurted out: “Oh for god’s sake, take that damned mask off. I’m so tired of looking at you!”

First, I’d never seen this woman before and I had a bone marrow transplant so I don’t have the luxury of going maskless in crowded environments. I just laughed at her because I was stunned that she’d say that to me. Then I wished her a very pleasant day. But it really kind of bugged me!! I was minding my own business and she intruded on my happy day.

I’m sorry this happened to you. But I’m going to tell you what I’ve told my daughter all her life…she’s now 40 and still uses this guide. “What other people think about you is none of your business.” ☺️.
Thank you for sharing this bizarre encounter and I really hope you can let this one roll off your back. And I agree, it’s time to do away with self checkouts!

REPLY
3 replies
Zebra | @californiazebra | Mar 21 12:24pm

Sorry about your bad experience. Kindness goes a long way. I remember years ago in Walmart, an older couple was walking very slowly after checkout. I’m pretty patient with people and honestly thought she told me to go around them. So I said thank you and walked by them. Then she started talking loudly to her husband so I and everyone could hear that young people (I was 54) are so impatient and rude and someday they’ll know what it’s like to be old. I felt like turning around and telling her I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer that day and she should be thankful she was lucky enough to get old because not everyone is. But I didn’t and just walked out pretending I didn’t hear her. Had she been nicer I would have apologized for the misunderstanding. All that for just casually walking around them. She was just a bitter person.

REPLY
1 reply
Mentor
Miriam, Volunteer Mentor | @mir123 | Mar 21 12:27pm
In reply to @loribmt "Hi @pvctom2021 Encounters like that can sure leave you rattled, can’t they? I’ve had a few..." + (show)
@loribmt

Hi @pvctom2021 Encounters like that can sure leave you rattled, can’t they? I’ve had a few myself over the past few years and for the life of me, I can’t imagine doing that to someone! I think when you’re a nice person, rude behavior is so contrary to your own thought patterns that you can’t fathom why someone would say something hurtful to you or anyone else. This was on her! You did nothing wrong. Obviously the woman has her personal issues and is projecting them onto you.

My most recent run in with a person actually left me laughing. It was so absurd. I was in a grocery store with my husband. We split up so that I could go grab something in another part of the store. As I was walking briskly, there was an older woman (not judging, I’m 70) walking in my direction. As she got closer, I smiled and she blurted out: “Oh for god’s sake, take that damned mask off. I’m so tired of looking at you!”

First, I’d never seen this woman before and I had a bone marrow transplant so I don’t have the luxury of going maskless in crowded environments. I just laughed at her because I was stunned that she’d say that to me. Then I wished her a very pleasant day. But it really kind of bugged me!! I was minding my own business and she intruded on my happy day.

I’m sorry this happened to you. But I’m going to tell you what I’ve told my daughter all her life…she’s now 40 and still uses this guide. “What other people think about you is none of your business.” ☺️.
Thank you for sharing this bizarre encounter and I really hope you can let this one roll off your back. And I agree, it’s time to do away with self checkouts!

Jump to this post

Many years ago, a smart friend told me: "if someone says 'you' and it makes no sense, try it as an I-statement from them. You can try it here, as if the woman was really saying "I'm so tired of being upset and annoyed and judgmental!' " But of course she was beyond rude and inconsiderate, and I'm glad you laughed. Many years ago my dad was buying cheap caviar for New Year's Eve with my mom and a lady commented on how it was bad caviar. "Oh, just for my cats," he retorted. He was so SO pleased with himself. But I have to remind myself a snappy answer isn't always my best course!

REPLY
2 replies
pvctom2021 | @pvctom2021 | Mar 21 12:32pm
In reply to @loribmt "Hi @pvctom2021 Encounters like that can sure leave you rattled, can’t they? I’ve had a few..." + (show)
@loribmt

Hi @pvctom2021 Encounters like that can sure leave you rattled, can’t they? I’ve had a few myself over the past few years and for the life of me, I can’t imagine doing that to someone! I think when you’re a nice person, rude behavior is so contrary to your own thought patterns that you can’t fathom why someone would say something hurtful to you or anyone else. This was on her! You did nothing wrong. Obviously the woman has her personal issues and is projecting them onto you.

My most recent run in with a person actually left me laughing. It was so absurd. I was in a grocery store with my husband. We split up so that I could go grab something in another part of the store. As I was walking briskly, there was an older woman (not judging, I’m 70) walking in my direction. As she got closer, I smiled and she blurted out: “Oh for god’s sake, take that damned mask off. I’m so tired of looking at you!”

First, I’d never seen this woman before and I had a bone marrow transplant so I don’t have the luxury of going maskless in crowded environments. I just laughed at her because I was stunned that she’d say that to me. Then I wished her a very pleasant day. But it really kind of bugged me!! I was minding my own business and she intruded on my happy day.

I’m sorry this happened to you. But I’m going to tell you what I’ve told my daughter all her life…she’s now 40 and still uses this guide. “What other people think about you is none of your business.” ☺️.
Thank you for sharing this bizarre encounter and I really hope you can let this one roll off your back. And I agree, it’s time to do away with self checkouts!

Jump to this post

@loribmt

Thanks for your kind reply and positive vibes…I appreciate …. 🙏 good advice you gave your daughter..very good 👍

REPLY
Zebra | @californiazebra | Mar 21 12:35pm

As a followup I have a funny store interaction that I hope will brighten your day. Years ago I was in a busy supermarket. When scanning all the long checkout lines, I looked for my best option. I saw a man coming from the other direction doing the same. We both spotted a short line at the same time. Our eyes locked like a Seinfeld episode. Suddenly he literally started running with his basket for the checkout line. I thought, wow, he really wants it! Then just before he got to it, he stopped suddenly, started laughing and said, I’m just kidding. You go ahead. I’m in no hurry. We laughed ourselves silly. It was hilarious!!! It not only made my day but I’ve laughed about it a thousand times in the years since. I wish I could tell him. Luckily, there’s so many more good and kind people in the world than bad and mean ones.

REPLY
Zebra | @californiazebra | Mar 21 12:49pm
In reply to @mir123 "Many years ago, a smart friend told me: "if someone says 'you' and it makes no..." + (show)
@mir123

Many years ago, a smart friend told me: "if someone says 'you' and it makes no sense, try it as an I-statement from them. You can try it here, as if the woman was really saying "I'm so tired of being upset and annoyed and judgmental!' " But of course she was beyond rude and inconsiderate, and I'm glad you laughed. Many years ago my dad was buying cheap caviar for New Year's Eve with my mom and a lady commented on how it was bad caviar. "Oh, just for my cats," he retorted. He was so SO pleased with himself. But I have to remind myself a snappy answer isn't always my best course!

Jump to this post

@mir123
I love that advice of hearing a you statement as an I statement because what people say to you really says more about them than you. Thanks for sharing! I'm going to remember that and pass it on! 🙂

REPLY
pvctom2021 | @pvctom2021 | Mar 21 1:06pm
In reply to @californiazebra "Sorry about your bad experience. Kindness goes a long way. I remember years ago in Walmart,..." + (show)
@californiazebra

Sorry about your bad experience. Kindness goes a long way. I remember years ago in Walmart, an older couple was walking very slowly after checkout. I’m pretty patient with people and honestly thought she told me to go around them. So I said thank you and walked by them. Then she started talking loudly to her husband so I and everyone could hear that young people (I was 54) are so impatient and rude and someday they’ll know what it’s like to be old. I felt like turning around and telling her I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer that day and she should be thankful she was lucky enough to get old because not everyone is. But I didn’t and just walked out pretending I didn’t hear her. Had she been nicer I would have apologized for the misunderstanding. All that for just casually walking around them. She was just a bitter person.

Jump to this post

Thanks for your kind reply and your personal experience with ‘living in the world today’…these replies are able to help me feel better about experience..🙏pvctom

REPLY
Mentor
Lori, Volunteer Mentor | @loribmt | Mar 21 6:14pm
In reply to @mir123 "Many years ago, a smart friend told me: "if someone says 'you' and it makes no..." + (show)
@mir123

Many years ago, a smart friend told me: "if someone says 'you' and it makes no sense, try it as an I-statement from them. You can try it here, as if the woman was really saying "I'm so tired of being upset and annoyed and judgmental!' " But of course she was beyond rude and inconsiderate, and I'm glad you laughed. Many years ago my dad was buying cheap caviar for New Year's Eve with my mom and a lady commented on how it was bad caviar. "Oh, just for my cats," he retorted. He was so SO pleased with himself. But I have to remind myself a snappy answer isn't always my best course!

Jump to this post

Miriam, some of those snappy answers are well deserved, however. 😉 Loved your dad’s witty comeback!!

REPLY
Scott R L | @scottrl | Mar 21 8:34pm

Easy explanation: The world has gone mad.

Once you accept that, it all makes sense.

I recently chided a young woman (20s) for parking in a handicap space (I am disabled myself) and her response was a volcanic explosion of obscenities directed at me, then threatened to call the police, saying I was "threatening" her.

Yeesh, what a psycho. And hardly unique. A couple of months ago, my wife and I saw a woman turn her dog loose in some guy's yard. When he came out of his house, she started screaming at him as though *he* had done something wrong.

As I said, the world has gone mad.

REPLY
1 reply
pvctom2021 | @pvctom2021 | Mar 21 9:01pm
In reply to @scottrl "Easy explanation: The world has gone mad. Once you accept that, it all makes sense. I..." + (show)
@scottrl

Easy explanation: The world has gone mad.

Once you accept that, it all makes sense.

I recently chided a young woman (20s) for parking in a handicap space (I am disabled myself) and her response was a volcanic explosion of obscenities directed at me, then threatened to call the police, saying I was "threatening" her.

Yeesh, what a psycho. And hardly unique. A couple of months ago, my wife and I saw a woman turn her dog loose in some guy's yard. When he came out of his house, she started screaming at him as though *he* had done something wrong.

As I said, the world has gone mad.

Jump to this post

Thanks for your reply..all today have helped me realize how lucky 🍀 I was to get out of Walmart with only being shamed … that last second crazed look did it for me…

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