Jake: I thought I'd just answer a part of your post I didn’t see addressed; of course it’s kind of difficult to follow the posts, so I may have missed it.

You asked: “ I saw “no sugar ice cream” and sugar free candy. Could he have either of those?”

What matters when you have diabetes is the carbs, which is what will send blood sugar high. I myself keep to around 40-45 carbs per meal. If you look at most labels, the low sugar or no sugar version of candy, ice cream, etc often has higher carbs than the sugar version.

Many of these snacks have over 20 carbs per serving or higher, so would you rather have a bowl of ice cream and not eat a meal? That’s what I thought.

It doesn’t mean all snacks are off limits. I ofter have a hard candy like Werthers, Brachs, etc before exercising to give me a little energy boost, as most have only about 4 to 5 carbs per piece. And there are a few low-carb ice cream types; Breyers Carb-Smart chocolate covered ice cream bars have 11 g carbs minus 3 g fiber (8 net carbs) which is a nice snack.

Learn to read the label before you buy, take into account how many servings per pack, carbs per servings, etc. Often the numbers highlighted on the front are come-ons, as a normal piece would be counted as multiple servings.

Hope that helps.
Howard

You are right on target, Howard. It also helps to think about not having a sweet snack and having a balanced meal instead. If I cut one carb during a meal, I can have the Breyer's bar at the end of that meal. I have it aft the end of lunch and then if I am active during the afternoon, I am ready for a balanced dinner and forget to stop for a late afternoon snack. Giving up the habit of "grazing" on snacks really helps. Of course, you could nibble on raw veggies which is fun to do. My frresh tomatoes are almost gone. I will miss them. Dorisena

That's what I'm trying to learn how that goes with the counting carb and such

There are lists on the web with glycemic index on the veggies and fruits. Eat the ones you like that are lower on the list. Count the grams. 15 grams is one serving. Count dairy as one serving, and it is slower to spike, so that helps. Bread is one or two servings. A bun is two servings. My nutritionist said to eat about ten servings of carbs a day. Some say 12 is the max. I have cut down on the fruits so I eat less than that now. Some people are happy with three servings of carbs per meal. I cut out my snack most days. Then I must eat an earlier dinner. I haven't had macaroni and cheese for years now. When I get really hungry I have soup with some beans in it. It gets better as time goes by, you feel better, and you are more active. I wrote down my carbs every day at first, but now I can mentally count how much I have and not overdo. I stay away from junk food junkies. Some of them stay away from me. Dorisena

Well my first doctors visit is tomorrow trying to think of questions I need to ask

@dorisena
@howardm
Hello,
I just wanted to thank you both for all the information that you have given me. I was concentrating more on sugar than I was carbohydrates so I appreciate that information.
My biggest problem is that he doesn’t really
understand how serious Diabetes can be.
So Howard, your suppose to stir microwaved food? Go figure. Learn something new all the time. You sound like a gourmet cook compared to me.
Dorisena, you were sure right about sneaking food. I had a dozen or so 1 ounce packets of raisins in a bowl on the counter and also I have 1 ounce packets of nuts some larger bags of pecans. I found 11 empty packets of the raisins on the table and he had a lot of pecans which I confiscated all but an ounce or two. Thank you for the diabetes cookbook recommendation. I ordered two of the Mayo Clinic cookbooks. I hope his caretakers use them faithfully. We live 300 miles apart so this ordeal is going to be a challenge.
Thanks again kids, your help was invaluable.
Jake

Jake, you are taking on a somewhat hopeless job but I support your efforts in trying to make a difference. Whatever small successes you have will be good for your cousin. I taught my employee, who ate with the family, to eat veggies if they had cheese on them. He particularly liked broccoli with cheese and if I skipped it to make the calories less, I told him I was out of cheese that day. Remember to "catch them doing well and reward them" but not with food, as I learned in my graduate education classes. You need his doctor to dictate to his caregivers and even that won't completely get the job done. Take comfort in the fact that you are doing the right thing and hope for better success every day. Get out and be active. At least it will help your health. Dorisena

Jake:
I think you can give as much help as you want, but if someone’s not willing to receive it, it’s a losing cause and discouragement to you.

In my opinion, he needs motivation. For myself, my motivation is my family and grandkids. My grandson has some special problems, and I want to be around as long as God will let me to help him through it. Find the motivation “sweet spot” in his life, and why he would want to live.

Some people are afraid of the complications unchecked diabetes can bring, as it can affect almost everything in the body: eyes, heart, kidneys, liver, leading to blindness, amputations, and on and on. Others are motivated by a particular reason for life, but if you find it for him, you can give him and those who care about him a gift of life.
Howard

Try to impress upon the doctor just how serious you are about changing your eating and activity to improve your health with this diabetes. He may be reluctant to give your strict instructions because many of his patients will not go as far as some of us, and he thinks his patients won't follow instructions with eating. Some doctors aim for an easier program because they don't want to scare you. Obesity can be deadly but most of my friends think it is a joke, and they laugh about it. Let him know you believe you can do the job. Dorisena

Having lived with and worked with, and taught the handicapped of various degrees, I want to thoughtfully remind people that "willing" and "able" are not always what everyone is capable of achieving. I have friends who are not capable of being motivated but they are considered normal people. Some of this comes under the heading of bad habits that they are reluctant to change, and some people are unfortunately born handicapped. Everyone can succeed to some degree but for some it is a difficult battle and they are not able to do it alone. That is why Howard is reaching out to his cousin and both are to be respected for the degree that they can achieve. Howard realizes that sometimes it can't be done alone, and he is to be commended for his efforts. It is a tough job and no one is to be blamed for not achieving a high level of success. Sometimes It is what it is. I often pray for guidance. Dorisena

Well I went to doctor a1c is 12.1 my tri is is up

@Trelig132. This is a rather simplistic idea, but I am suggesting you might want to try it while you're learning. Three meals a day with each meal consisting of only 30 carbs and two snacks a day limited to 15 carbs each. If what you are eating does not list carbs, Google it to get the number. Unless there is some other reason for not consuming a particular food, like an allergy, you can eat as much non carbohydrate foods as you like. This idea is to get you started, but it's your responsibility to learn all you can. Hope this helps – it helped me get started.

Thank for the advice Im down to do what I need to get me healthier I have 8 yrs old who need her father

That is extremely high. What did your doctor say? Did he/she alter any medications? Do you have other medical conditions that could be contributing to your diabetes? (You’re leaving out an awful lot of details.)

Well I'm also overweight diabetes runs deep in my family what else could be contributing to my diabetes. My doctor has just received my blood work so no we're going ova what the problem could be