Just tired

nrdl2879...of course you are exhausted!! My husband had liver, kidney and lymphoid cancer ..he was 68..I was 57 and healthy and worked 12-15 hrs a day..It is so hard!! Until the last 21 days when I took FMLA and did hospice with him..alone..he made me promise not to let anyone see him.. so hospice here only came once a day.. and the hygiene person once a day.. any mess was "my mess"..I made a chart.. yes..I made a chart.. every 2 hrs something..he had been on 17 meds prior so I knew what to do.. make a chart..and a system.. when he takes this.. I set it on the "he took it place" and them started over and over..now I'm 71 and on abot of meds.. and I have a system.. if I forget I see what i wrote down in my notebook.. thenI know I took it and when..I hope this helps you some.. it is so overwhelming..and it's ok to be overwhelmed..it's ok to be upset ..it's ok to be freaked out..you will be ok.. one day at a time ..one hour at a time. my heart goes out to you..Pray!! God is with you and He will help you!! I am praying for you!!

I agree about keeping a log for meds.

Can you get some help? Full time, around the clock caregiving for a completely healthy person is brutal, so doing while you are also having a medical condition…..I can’t imagine. I eventually got 2 different outside home health companies to help. Still, it was very hard. Can others help with driving? I wish you all the best. It’s a lot.

It sounds like your hubby is terminal..Have you reached out to Medicaid for a caregiver or Hospice to help you..Ask to speak to a patient advocate from the hospital he went to, they can help..Wishing you & hubby get help you need...

@nrdl2879
I am so sorry for all you are enduring. I pray for strength, courage and wisdom for you both, and for support you need immediately!

I am the caregiver for my almost 94 year old father in my husband and i’s home. He has multiple complicated health issues and takes about fourteen different meds and vitamins, a few of which are taken a couple of times a day. Working with docs to come up with a schedule, then keeping a daily log in a little spiral notebook helps me a lot. I note the time I have given him and an abbreviated name of the med, each day. We also monitor his blood pressure twice a day, and his daily weight. I also note any edema or other observations, symptoms, etc in the book—to aid in making those PRN med decisions and to track trends or just to remember what’s been going on when, when speaking to his doctors or nurse. I access the alarm clock function on my phone and have it alert me to med times (many of his have to be spaced apart by a number of hours). If we are going to be out of the house during med times (and it sounds like with all those doc appointments you may be too), I take the meds he will need to take in a little zip top plastic med bag that Walgreens sells for sorting meds. They very small and sturdy and made for this purpose.

Dad’s PCP is the gatekeeper for his insurance approvals. He has approved a home health nurse to come a number of times weekly to help with some things specific to his situation, and to also monitor his health (BP, weight, edema, listens to chest, etc). She reviews my log for days she is not here. He is also part of another program (again suggested and approved by the PCP), where he meets periodically virtually with one of their doctors while a nurse is present in our home, going over meds and refill needs, monitoring health in person, etc.

Perhaps something like this could help, if your husband is stable enough now to have a nurse examine him and virtual doc meetings? Only your doctor could determine that, and if they even do virtual. Several of dads specialists do not do virtual (the meetings I described above are with PCP). But if so, it seems like it would be a benefit to you both rather than dragging you out for such grueling days every three days?

exhausted ( to put it mildly) of course u are. I look back over the years of caring I have done for family ( all gone now ) I wonder how I did it, because I had to now I only care for one family member its all starting to hit.(((((((((((((((((((((((( and strength to you )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

God bless you! Caregiving is one of the most difficult jobs ever. I have done this for my mother but at that time I had my sister to help. Now I am taking care of my second husband who is 18 years my senior. He can do very little for himself. I have to help him bathe and dress, fix all his meals, prepare his meds plus take care of everything else. I am blessed in the fact that I do have help 16 hours per week and a lady that cleans the house. Just getting out of the house for a drive helps. Hope you are able to do this. God is always there for you.

Found out my copay starting in December is $1982 a month. Have to take the medicine or i will get Lukemia. Hopefully i can find a grant.
My husband’s last Pet scan showed activity in his lymph nodes. He has another pet scan Dec 9 Stage 4 colon cancer
His Dr said be with family because that is the best medicine right now