1. < Caregivers

Just can't handle this any more

Posted by kartwk @kartwk, Nov 25 11:12am

Things have gone from bad to worse. As I said we went for another chest x-ray and 2 more doc. apts. At the one the doc asked if he was taking his symbicort (which of course he wasn't because he has problems with EVERYTHING he get prescribed) and he gave the doc an evasive answer about why he was not. So I stepped in and told the doc the REAL reason only to have H break in and say he would start taking it again.

I am tired, I am worn out, I get pleasure out of nothing. I am so sick of the constant hacking and checking out his phlegm, of getting prescriptions that he takes a few times and then claims he is having problems with them BUT doesn't call doc about said problems. The constant grunting and groaning. The constant bitching about the house---when I clean he smells it and it sets off his lungs (even when I am just using plain water and wiping down the floors!), and then when I say fine, heck with it, he bitches that I am not cleaning and dusting enough.

It came to a head this weekend. I actually threw a plate on the floor after he hacked and checked at the table while we were eating. I am done.

Of course now it is my fault, I don't love him, he wants a divorce, he is going out and maybe won't come back.....all MY fault.

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kartwk | @kartwk | Dec 16 1:23pm

One of the lawyers I called referred me to an elderly law office. He said they can probably help with things to protect what few assets we have for me and what can be done for him like assisted living or something.

REPLY
kartwk | @kartwk | Dec 16 5:35pm
In reply to @kartwk "Carrie 40 - THANK YOU. Just when I needed something this morning. You said: "If you..." + (show)
@kartwk

Carrie 40 - THANK YOU. Just when I needed something this morning.

You said: "If you have any financial resources of your own and can get out of there--or at least make plans to--think about it. Martyrdom is not all it's cracked up to be"

I have been thinking about that very seriously. Have a few lawyers I am calling tomorrow. This can't go on.

I hate to moan, but I just can't take it any more. This morning was another battle. Of course he never is wrong, it is me. Because I confronted him, he now is going to get a lawyer tomorrow. GOOD! He has no feelings or concerns about what this is doing to me and my health mentally and physically. I am embarrassed to write the next because I know better. A few months back he was going through his usual litany and I asked about all the inhalers he gets and then refuses to use. He actually said: "What do you know, you are f***ing useless!" Yes, I know and I was shocked. He has never apologized even when I told him how much it hurt me. And it sure has changed things with me. He had never said any such thing to me before and we have been married 30 years!

Without getting too much into it, and please allow me to talk here, his daughter scares the begesus out of me. Has for a long time. He always brushes off her behaviors and nothing, I am just picking on her, etc.

Several years back I had something she wanted, a set of crystal paperweights. I was selling them - hey we all need cash in our old age and they are expensive. When I didn't give them to her, she waited until I was next to her and then deliberately hip bumped me, so I almost fell over (remember I am unsteady as it is) and walked away. I confronted her and she claimed I was mistaken. H, well he just shrugged his shoulders and said she said she didn't do anything. I have already posted some of the other things. Do you know she didn't invite her own Father (or me) to her son's wedding! Yep. Now that she is trying to get executorship of his will she claims that never happened. And guess what, H goes along with what she says? Carrie, I am not crazy and I don't make things up.

When I told H I was afraid of her because of her past actions his response was: "well, that was in the past forget it". I couldn't get him to understand that the way someone acts to you in the past is how they act to you in the future.

There is something definitely wrong with his daughter. I am not just saying that because I am a SM or have a grudge, something is off.

I am thinking about a separation and HE is going to be the one leaving the house, not me. IMHO, possion is 10 10ths of the law.

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Just want to post this as an add on to the SD who was trying to go after the wills. The one that lives 5 miles from us.

Got a Christmas card from her today and it was the very first time she ever addressed anything to us as: The (last name). She sent us one of those cards that the charities send to you to encourage you to contribute to the charity.

I DID laugh and say to H, as he opened it - "Well, dear, she's not getting executorship/beneficiary of the wills so we are now demoted to being just "the so-an-so's". He agreed on that. So, as that stands we are on the same page....at least for now.

REPLY
carrie40 | @carrie40 | 6 days ago
In reply to @kartwk "SD is 59 and doesn't live with us but about 5 miles away. Back in June..." + (show)
@kartwk

SD is 59 and doesn't live with us but about 5 miles away. Back in June H had a scare with his heart and was in the ER for a bunch of tests and things while they checked him out. She showed up and started cajoling him into making her his executor/beneficiary if anything happened to him. Note, I was not in the room when this occurred and only found out about it later. Supposedly she would handle things for me. Yeah, right. She is not allowed in my house because she has stolen from me in the past.

FWIW. I, we, set her straight about our wills and we have not seen her physically since then (nothing in it for her). She is "off" in a lot of ways and scares the begesus out of me.

Jump to this post

kartwk, please listen to "allie." You need to do more than go to Culvers--you need to get out of there. See a lawyer. See his doctor. Be prepared to call 911. If you have family or friends nearby; talk to them. We are concerned, Carrie

REPLY
sillyblone | @sillyblone | 5 days ago
In reply to @kartwk "You mean there are TWO of them? Heaven help us! LOL!!" + (show)
@kartwk

You mean there are TWO of them? Heaven help us! LOL!!

Jump to this post

No there are three!

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