Isolation

In a way I have the same problem. I only have one friend. Yes, people do talk to me when I go out but I do that seldom. Pretty much only the grocery store, bank and library. I live alone and feel alone and lonely. I am unable to go into a room with other people right now. I do have a therapist and we have discussed this. I may never be able to do this. I have issues due to a traumatized growing up. Now I am 88 so I guess I am as grown up as I ever will be. Do you go to events, or senior centers, etc? If not, maybe that is what they mean by isolated. I am not a trained counsellor so I don't know. But why don't you ask them?

Hi @thisismarilynb !

Don't underestimate yourself! You'll be going on a lovely cruise soon, right? With a friend!

That is a tremendous step "upward & outward"!

Little steps add up, & you're on your way. Look forward to hearing more about your steps.

At this time my steps are slow, slower and slowest. (Joke) Had to insert this because some people have no sense of humor. I have to admit that I am apprehensive about the cruise because I won't be with my husband. We were fortunate to be able to do a lot of cruising and I have been all over the world - including Antarctica. I wonder how it will affect me to be with my friend instead of my husband. Another thing is that the cruise line we sailing on does not compare to the line my husband and I used. I will have to always be on guard so I do not blurt out something about "Well this is not how . . . treated us." Hopefully we will return as friends.

Hey there,
First I want to say this: just because one person or even two people say you have a certain diagnosis, that does not mean that you automatically do! If you do not feel isolated and you are able to go out and have casual friends then I’m sorry, but that person has no idea what they’re talking about. Just because someone doesn’t have twenty friends, does not make them an isolated being. Keep doing you and don’t let a “diagnosis” dictate who you are as a person.

Hello!
I am surprised to know that other therapists use the work isolated as a diagnosis. When a social worker diagnosed me as isolated years ago I started a discussion on this site about the term being used as a diagnosis. Someone responded by saying that social workers use the DSM to diagnose psychological illnesses/problems and that there is no such diagnosis listed of isolation. Isolation obviously is an impression. I must ask my social worker about that. Today I told her basically what I said in my last post. She thanked me for clarifying that. She said so I feel more or less lonely. Right! If I would be shut off from the world then I would be isolated.

Hello @thisismarylynb
It is surprising to know that someone else has only one close friend. I have joined a senior center. I have done so to find another friend and I would like to meet a man. That would really help.
You asked if I attend events. Because I use mass transportation I do not attend events. I will never drive. My friend does not drive either.

It is surprising to know that someone else is in the same boat as you. We always think we are the only ones, but, surprise! usually we are not. I do drive and will continue to drive as long as I can. It helps so much to be independent. I am able to attend event and go to senior centers but I cannot. We'll just have to see if my therapist can help me on this. As for a man, no thank you. I met my husband in the summer of 1959 and he died in the summer of 2021. He was my whole life. In a million years I don't think I could meet anyone who could take his place. And don't forget how old I am. I sure don't want to meet some old geezer who is looking for a nurse with a purse. Again back to diagnosis. Last week I had an appointment with my doctor. He asked me about my back pain. I was astonished. I don't have back pain. He was looking at a report about some kind of anomaly of my sacroiliac. Now I am wondering if someone else's xray is on my chart. Because I have never complained about back pain and I have no idea why an x-ray would have been done. Too tired to get into it now. I will talk again at my next appointment. I do need and want to make one more statement about friends. To be a friend you need to be friendly. That has eluded me. Have to work on that also.

I like being alone, except in the evening, then I feel better knowing my husband is home. But I don’t want to go out on visiting my children and grandchildren. I love peace and quiet. I love to read! I keep the house clean and that takes a lot of time. But if I could, I might just stay in my bedroom most of the day. I also overeat from dinner on. I’m on a few antidepressants, but they only work up to a certain degree. Does anyone have suggestions? Thanks. ( I’m 73 years old)

I also love to read! Congratulations on your clean house; I aspire to be more like you!

I enjoy walking my dog twice a day in the neighborhood. It’s a great excuse to exercise and see other dog walkers, children, contractors, people in their yards and the goings on in the community. If you don’t want a pet in your home, I’ve also read that people suffering from social isolation volunteer at a pet rescue facility where animals need love, attention and training.

If pets aren’t your cup of tea, what about forest bathing? The purpose is twofold: to offer an eco-antidote to screen burnout and inspire people to reconnect with and protect the forests. Forest bathing is not just for the wilderness-lover; the practice can be as simple as walking in any natural environment and consciously connecting with what’s around you.

Just some thoughts.

I can say psychologists are labeling me as a completely different person than I am. An isolated person is one who has very few social contacts. I have many of them. They are just casual friends. I just don't know their names. With the way I am out regularly and see many people I am not isolated.