Interested in how other caregivers survive

I am the caregiver for my husband who has Dementia and Heart failure. I am fortunate because he turns in about 8-9 p.m. Then I read or watch a movie, usually PBS, or listen to my favorite songs.
I do have occasional meltdowns and he gets upset if I yell, so I quietly cry with tears streaming down my cheeks instead. He doesn’t say anything as I cry, but afterwards he starts taking care of what I have been asking him to do for weeks or months. I feel relieved after a good cry and he gets the message. I don’t cry on purpose and I’m quiet, no yelling or drama, and no guilty feelings because I upset him.
He has messed the sheets and bedspread with feces only once so far. I didn’t make a big deal about it. Just put the sheets and bedspread into the washer right away, cleaned his backside with a warm soapy wash rag that goes in the wash. I try to make him feel this is normal and nothing to get upset about, just part of his disease. I open a window, or put a fan on or use a spray to help with the odor. Using a heavier Depends or putting a large towel where he sleeps is all we do right now. Anything can be replaced, except for him. I’m not concerned about material things or cleaning him up.
His memory slows him down and patience is not my forte. I do get frustrated when he asks me something over and over. I am concerned about his driving and go with him to guide him. He says he is not ready to take a driving test that will determine once and for all if he can drive. This is a difficult decision that I must make for him.
I hope this helps you.

I am the caregiver for my husband who has Dementia and Heart failure. I am fortunate because he turns in about 8-9 p.m. Then I read or watch a movie, usually PBS, or listen to my favorite songs.
I do have occasional meltdowns and he gets upset if I yell, so I quietly cry with tears streaming down my cheeks instead. He doesn’t say anything as I cry, but afterwards he starts taking care of what I have been asking him to do for weeks or months. I feel relieved after a good cry and he gets the message. I don’t cry on purpose and I’m quiet, no yelling or drama, and no guilty feelings because I upset him.
He has messed the sheets and bedspread with feces only once so far. I didn’t make a big deal about it. Just put the sheets and bedspread into the washer right away, cleaned his backside with a warm soapy wash rag that goes in the wash. I try to make him feel this is normal and nothing to get upset about, just part of his disease. I open a window, or put a fan on or use a spray to help with the odor. Using a heavier Depends or putting a large towel where he sleeps is all we do right now. Anything can be replaced, except for him. I’m not concerned about material things or cleaning him up.
His memory slows him down and patience is not my forte. I do get frustrated when he asks me something over and over. I am concerned about his driving and go with him to guide him. He says he is not ready to take a driving test that will determine once and for all if he can drive. This is a difficult decision that I must make for him.
I hope this helps you.

I am the caregiver for my husband who has Dementia and Heart failure. I am fortunate because he turns in about 8-9 p.m. Then I read or watch a movie, usually PBS, or listen to my favorite songs.
I do have occasional meltdowns and he gets upset if I yell, so I quietly cry with tears streaming down my cheeks instead. He doesn’t say anything as I cry, but afterwards he starts taking care of what I have been asking him to do for weeks or months. I feel relieved after a good cry and he gets the message. I don’t cry on purpose and I’m quiet, no yelling or drama, and no guilty feelings because I upset him.
He has messed the sheets and bedspread with feces only once so far. I didn’t make a big deal about it. Just put the sheets and bedspread into the washer right away, cleaned his backside with a warm soapy wash rag that goes in the wash. I try to make him feel this is normal and nothing to get upset about, just part of his disease. I open a window, or put a fan on or use a spray to help with the odor. Using a heavier Depends or putting a large towel where he sleeps is all we do right now. Anything can be replaced, except for him. I’m not concerned about material things or cleaning him up.
His memory slows him down and patience is not my forte. I do get frustrated when he asks me something over and over. I am concerned about his driving and go with him to guide him. He says he is not ready to take a driving test that will determine once and for all if he can drive. This is a difficult decision that I must make for him.
I hope this helps you.

I am just starting that journey with my husband. Having already gone through it with his parents, I am tired just thinking about it. We do have medicine now that wasn't available when his dad was ill, but nothing is guaranteed that it will work. We do live in a nice community that is very helpful (over 55 and gated).
I have friends that I can talk to here. That helps relieve some of the stress. I hope you have some relief with friends, family and care groups (doctors, etc).
My husband can still drive but I don't let him go out by himself. He has always gotten lost!
We have all papers up to date with trusts, power of attorney, medical power of attorney.

I am sorry you are a caregiver again. Seems like there is always that someone in the family who takes care of whoever is sick. It sounds like you are that someone. Does your family help you, besides talking to you? Everyone in our families are working or live in another state, except my husband’s sister, who never visited him in the hospital and rarely calls.
I am glad you have friends where you live to talk to. We are also in a 55+ facility but most people here have their own health issues and I don’t want to burden them with mine. This website is where I vent and tell my feelings to. I always get good advice, lots of hugs and likes. They understand what I am going through and I love them all for helping me.
Thank you for your concern and support.

I am the caregiver for my husband who has Dementia and Heart failure. I am fortunate because he turns in about 8-9 p.m. Then I read or watch a movie, usually PBS, or listen to my favorite songs.
I do have occasional meltdowns and he gets upset if I yell, so I quietly cry with tears streaming down my cheeks instead. He doesn’t say anything as I cry, but afterwards he starts taking care of what I have been asking him to do for weeks or months. I feel relieved after a good cry and he gets the message. I don’t cry on purpose and I’m quiet, no yelling or drama, and no guilty feelings because I upset him.
He has messed the sheets and bedspread with feces only once so far. I didn’t make a big deal about it. Just put the sheets and bedspread into the washer right away, cleaned his backside with a warm soapy wash rag that goes in the wash. I try to make him feel this is normal and nothing to get upset about, just part of his disease. I open a window, or put a fan on or use a spray to help with the odor. Using a heavier Depends or putting a large towel where he sleeps is all we do right now. Anything can be replaced, except for him. I’m not concerned about material things or cleaning him up.
His memory slows him down and patience is not my forte. I do get frustrated when he asks me something over and over. I am concerned about his driving and go with him to guide him. He says he is not ready to take a driving test that will determine once and for all if he can drive. This is a difficult decision that I must make for him.
I hope this helps you.

I am grateful for sharing your experiences. It gives me comfort and your text gives me instruction for situations not yet encountered but prepares me to do do. Thank you very much. May God continue to show His grace on you and give you joy and strength in caring for your loved one.

I am sorry you are a caregiver again. Seems like there is always that someone in the family who takes care of whoever is sick. It sounds like you are that someone. Does your family help you, besides talking to you? Everyone in our families are working or live in another state, except my husband’s sister, who never visited him in the hospital and rarely calls.
I am glad you have friends where you live to talk to. We are also in a 55+ facility but most people here have their own health issues and I don’t want to burden them with mine. This website is where I vent and tell my feelings to. I always get good advice, lots of hugs and likes. They understand what I am going through and I love them all for helping me.
Thank you for your concern and support.

I'm sorry, I didn't answer your questions. My husband's family lives in different states. Texas and Washington . They are in terrible physical shape and weren't any help 25 years ago with their parents, when they could have helped. One is 4 years younger than us and the other is 18 years younger. We won't even mention his brother!
I'm with you as so glad that I discovered this website. I use this group and the ostomy group since I came home from our vacation with my new attachment.
By the way, I'm almost 82! Yikes