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heatherfeather9
@heatherfeather9

Posts: 1
Joined: Feb 15, 2019

I'm the wife of a diabetic and I don't know what to do...

Posted by @heatherfeather9, Sun, Feb 17 5:01pm

Hi, my husband won't do anything besides take insulin, partly because I don't think he believes it will help him to change his diet or take other medication. He sleeps all the time, he suffers from ED, and he looks terrible. Has anyone seen diet relieve any of these symptoms? Medication (such as Metformin)?

REPLY

Hi, @heatherfeather9 – welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. Your concern for your husband is evident. I'd like you to meet others in the Diabetes & Endocrine System group who might have some thoughts on how you might contend with the fact that he is only taking the insulin for his diabetes, but not changing his diet or taking other medication. Please meet @retiredteacher @gailb @parus @susu2 @cehunt57. They may have some thoughts on whether a change of diet or taking medications like Metformin might make a difference in his erectile dysfunction, sleeping all the time and not looking well.

Has his doctor explained to him the benefits of taking medication beyond insulin or diet changes? Has he also seen someone in dietetics following his diabetes diagnosis?

@heatherfeather9 Hello and we're glad you are here on Connect. I understand what it is to deal with someone who basically ignores everything that will help. Your husband is like many of us who are told we have a disease, and we don't want to deal with it. When I was diagnosed with Diabetes 2 almost three years ago, I was so angry and determined not to try to help myself. After talking with an endocrinologist and after staying in contact with people on Mayo Connect, I gradually accepted the fact that I had choices. I could ignore what I should do to stay alive or let Diabetes 2 kill me.
Diabetes is a dangerous disease (as most are) because it can touch every organ in the body. Can you make a deal with your husband to try for one month the right foods, have him see his dr. for ED, and exercise just fifteen minutes a day. By taking little steps, he will begin to feel better and see for himself that the changes are what he needs. The right foods always help along with exercise. What he eats is dependent on what works for him. Diabetes is a disease that is different for everyone. What does his doctor tell him? Are you able to adjust your meal preparation to what he needs? Have you seen a dietician? These specialists can help plan a menu of foods he likes.Can you talk to him and convince him to get some answers from people who know? Don't let your husband destroy himself; he can live a full, productive life if he follows the rules. Can you get him to start with your family doctor or whoever prescribed the insulin? I hope you both can get an appointment to talk with the doctor. Let me know how you are doing.
Carol

@retiredteacher

@heatherfeather9 Hello and we're glad you are here on Connect. I understand what it is to deal with someone who basically ignores everything that will help. Your husband is like many of us who are told we have a disease, and we don't want to deal with it. When I was diagnosed with Diabetes 2 almost three years ago, I was so angry and determined not to try to help myself. After talking with an endocrinologist and after staying in contact with people on Mayo Connect, I gradually accepted the fact that I had choices. I could ignore what I should do to stay alive or let Diabetes 2 kill me.
Diabetes is a dangerous disease (as most are) because it can touch every organ in the body. Can you make a deal with your husband to try for one month the right foods, have him see his dr. for ED, and exercise just fifteen minutes a day. By taking little steps, he will begin to feel better and see for himself that the changes are what he needs. The right foods always help along with exercise. What he eats is dependent on what works for him. Diabetes is a disease that is different for everyone. What does his doctor tell him? Are you able to adjust your meal preparation to what he needs? Have you seen a dietician? These specialists can help plan a menu of foods he likes.Can you talk to him and convince him to get some answers from people who know? Don't let your husband destroy himself; he can live a full, productive life if he follows the rules. Can you get him to start with your family doctor or whoever prescribed the insulin? I hope you both can get an appointment to talk with the doctor. Let me know how you are doing.
Carol

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@heatherfeather9 Good morning. I see that it has been almost a week that you posted about your husband. I thought I would just check in to see how he is doing. Did he decide to try to deal with his diabetes? I hope he made the choice to feel better, even though he has diabetes. Do you have any questions about something else you can try? I hope you can get him to try to change his thinking so that he will feel better.
Carol

@heatherfeather9 I am Cheryl @cehunt57 that Lisa Lucier referred to above. I’ve been diabetic since 1975. It is a looong story. I agree with all the things that Carol @retiredteacher said. There are so many kinds of diabetes and each diabetic’s situation is different. Diabetes effects everything about the individual that has it and vice versa. Everything in a diabetic’s life effects the diabetes. It sometimes takes a whole team of providers to develop a customized treatment plan that is beneficial. It is clear that you care for your husband and his well being but diabetes is a really personal thing. I would encourage him to learn about his illness (including possible complications) and various treatment options. The decision to take care of himself must come from him. Just let him know that you care and will support him with whatever he needs. He is blessed to have you. Hopefully he will choose well.

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