I’m slowly not able to remember where and what I’m doing daily.

Posted by BoneHead @stsopoci, Nov 18, 2023

I’ve been losing things and not remembering what I am supposed to be doing. Luckly I am computer savvy so I use my calendar and cell phone hourly to remind me. I never had a good memory even when I was young but now it’s really frustrating to suddenly not remembering something that I was doing. What’s my first steps?

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@stsopoci Remembering things is a real problem. Has your spouse noted and commented on the forgetfulness?
Let’s ask some other members of the group if they have any tips. @slysi. @fgp @meitsjustme @centre @bobbisedlmayr
Have you discussed this with your doctor? That’s probably a good starting point.

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After I had a stroke, I looked back and realized that for some time I had been kinda spaced out a lot of the time. (Long story, but I think I had partial blockage of my carotid artery. I had a lump in my neck that my doctor said was a swollen lymph node and not to worry, but after the stroke the lump was gone. Maybe a clot that migrated to my brain? We'll never know.)

I'm not trying to scare you, but by all means, if you have a doctor you trust, have a chat.

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15. Years ago I had a TiA but not a stroke. This has been a very slow memory issue. I retired 11 years ago.

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Many different things can affect a person's memory. Your first step should be to see your primary care doctor. He or she can help determine the cause of your memory problems. For example, some medications or vascular issues can negatively affect memory. I'm glad to hear you're finding workarounds, and your doctor may be able to suggest other things to help. Good luck, and please keep us posted.

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You need to see your primary care MD, and / or a neurologist to check you out.

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I really can empathize with your situation. I went to see my general practitioner a few months ago because I was having some memory issues that were upsetting to me. I was very worried that I was getting dementia. My GP referred me to a neurologist and she had me take some tests. After that she said that the tests indicated that dementia, at this point, wasn’t an issue. She said she felt the memory lapses were due to side effects from all the medications I have to take given that I have Panhypopituitarism. This is an illness where one has no functioning pituitary gland and therefore one must take replacement endocrine hormones. I admit I was very much relieved as I really don’t want to get dementia. I have enough to deal with health wise.

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I have had a terrible working memory since a traumatic brain injury when I was 28, for which I received no supportive care or treatment (in Australia, the traffic incident insurance system ensures the innocent party is treated like they’re faking injury, so you’re often perpetually denied treatment without providing firstly that you have gathered significant medical evidence that you have that injury, which is almost impossible when they have their own doctors on payroll aggressively lying for the benefit of receiving money from your case, and with a brain injury, you can imagine how hard it is to not only try to recover, but manage several cases against you in a stacked system). I’m 50 now, and I have been using calendars, reminders, whiteboards around the house, post it notes, and emails to myself with reminders for years. And I have a list of things to do each day that is on the wall beside the bed, in the kitchen, and in the lounge room, so I remember to eat, drink, do chores, and attend to appointments, get the car serviced/put petrol, etc.
I’ve had zero help in Au to manage this problem, and so I developed my own systems to manage. If I start to forget things (leaving taps on, forgetting washing in the machine for days, forgetting to get food out of the oven and it burns, etc), I just modify my charts, alarms, and other processes to include extra steps to improve these outcomes (whenever I do laundry I set an alarm while I’m standing at the machine, on my phone, so it will go off with ‘get washing out and put in dryer’ when it’s done; and when I’m cooking I set the alarm for ‘first 30mins before stir of casserole - in OVEN’ because I won’t be able to inadvertently see it if I walk past the kitchen). When I’m driving, I have the entire turn by turn on my phone, even if it’s somewhere I’ve been before, so I don’t forget half way through the journey where I’m going, and then when I get there, I have the event in my calendar with a note telling me why I am there, which I read and then I can understand and ask questions in the context of the event/appointment.
It takes a while to get used to but basically, each new thing that happens during the day, I make a note when I have to follow up in future, both at that moment, then in the future when I’ll be needing to do whatever it was (like appointments or meetings). I volunteer as a nation and state wide advocate for healthcare rights in Australia, and often I have no idea what I have done in terms of submissions, advocacy, or other items - I forget from one meeting to the next - and I rely on an admin person to take comprehensive minutes so I can use those as a memory record of what happens month by month and year by year. They kindly record what I have done, so I know where I am up to with bigger projects that are staged over time instead of one-off advocacy/lobbying. I tell everyone my brain has been mashed, and doesn’t work properly, when they need to work along side me, and so they know to remind me of the topic so I can understand what the context of the discussion is.
I manage ok, most of the time, besides sometimes inadvertently setting the kitchen on fire a couple of times when forgetting I’ve started cooking (ie: I’ll walk away to go to the bathroom, answer the phone, etc, and totally forget I’ve put something on the stove), however now I put a post it note next to the chair where I usually sit to take notes if my phone rings (and in the bathroom) to check the kitchen for open flames.
You get the gist 🙂
It’s not as bad as it sounds when you get a little routine happening.
I’ve lived by myself for years, and I do ok most of the time.
But your medical system over there should take care of you if you tell your doc something is wrong.
There are neurocognitive tests that can be done to demonstrate the areas of memory change, if you’d like to do that, which can be helpful in accessing the right kind of help and support (it took me 16 years to finally get access to those tests in Australia, and it was deemed that since I’d already ‘worked it out’ by myself, no support was given).
I think maybe your health insurance should help get access to tests in terms of financial aspects? Here, they cost thousands (I think I paid over $4000 back then).
The most helpful thing is developing habits of leaving things in the same place all the time..don’t leave things anywhere they don’t usually go, otherwise they become lost.
Also, I used this process of memory aides - in a much more intensive way - to get my degree in occupational therapy after this brain injury (part time, because my brain only works at a certain pace), however due to physical deterioration I can’t work any more in that industry, so now, I’ve just been accepted into university in a post graduate diploma of counselling, which I will do part time, using the same memory utilities I used for my undergrad, so I can start working remotely (helping people online via video chat).
Hopefully there’s an example there that’s helpful, and don’t ever feel that changes you’re going through are bad - there’s always something you can do to make life better and easier.

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I attended a daylong seminar on dementia at Mayo in Rochester, MN, recently and all things relevant to that diagnosis were thoroughly discussed. It was tremendous. One of the takeaways was that most people who worry about their forgetfulness don't have a problem. It's when you don't know that you don't remember you have an issue. For instance, one presenter said if you forget where you put your coffee cup, that's normal. If you forget how to make coffee, that's problematic. Someone else here mentioned using lists and notes. I have actually been doing that since my 30s (now 60s). I am occasionally made fun of, but I do not forget much as it's somewhere on the list. Just remember to consult the list! Another practice also already mentioned that works for me is always putting things in the same exact spot and be purposeful about everything you do. I even say to myself, "I am hanging my coat in the hall closet" to help remember where it's at. Most importantly, try not to worry too much. I think that makes things worse.

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I spend about 15 minutes before bed thinking back through my day. It has helped me to be more “awake” during the day. Hope this helps you as it has me. Start the review with the most recent event and work backwards until you’re recalling the morning. See it like a movie playing—not like an analysis.

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@becsbuddy

@stsopoci Remembering things is a real problem. Has your spouse noted and commented on the forgetfulness?
Let’s ask some other members of the group if they have any tips. @slysi. @fgp @meitsjustme @centre @bobbisedlmayr
Have you discussed this with your doctor? That’s probably a good starting point.

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As both my wife and I get older (I am 76 she is 75) we started to forget things. What we have learned to do is post notes on refrigerator to remind of things we need to do that day or next. It really has helped.

We also put a calendar on the door to pantry. On that calendar we list things we need to do for the upcoming days and weeks.

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