I'm at a loss, I can't find therapy. Is it me?

smugzs, Thank you for your realistic reply! What I didn’t tell you, is that I, also, had difficulties as a child with a different diagnosis, than my grandson! I walked funny, having childhood polio, I have had Ataxia, and poor balance, my entire life, and had been made fun of, by other children, and adults, when I was a child, due to a brain related, birth defect! I felt like my grandson feels now, that I was rejected by many peers and other people, and that they truly did not understand me. Even worse than all that, though, was that I was rejected by both of my parents! I was considered the so called ‘black sheep’ of the family, having 2 brothers, and 2 sisters! They were all relatively normal, to my parents. They each had rooms, of their own, and were treated well, by my parents! For me, though, it was the opposite! My parents physically beat me, and mentally abused me! My place was a blanket on the cold, hard, cement floor, of the basement! I had no room of my own. At the dinner table, if I spoke up, or complained about anything, I was sent to the basement, with no food! My brothers and sisters, on the other hand, could talk all they want! My parents wouldn’t buy me school clothes, once I reached 5th grade! I was made to work as a newspaper delivery boy, from a young age, to pay for my school clothes! I couldn’t take the beatings and mistreatments any more, when I was a junior in high school, so I left my parents home, staying with friends, or my older sister’s family ( she had gotten married in my sophomore year ). My parents never gave me a penny for college, and the one time I returned home, to see if they would co-sign a student loan for me, my Dad threw a fit, said no, catching me unawares, as I was standing by the basement steps, and pushed me violently, so that I lost my balance, and I fell down the stairs, onto the basement floor! Immediately, I felt a sharp pain in my right knee! My knee ballooned up to twice it’s size! I couldn’t get up! My Dad yelled at me, and said he hated me, and wish I had never been born! Then, when I was screaming in pain, telling my Dad and Mom, who had come down on the landing, that I needed help, to get up, and I needed to be taken to hospital, neithrr my Mom or Dad would come down snd helo me! My younger sister came down and told me she’d call my older married sister! So, about an hour later, my older sister came over and helped me crawl to her car, and she took me to hospital! My parents warned me, that if I complained to Docs at the hospital, that my Dad purposely hurt me, that they would kill me! Anyway, I was on crutches, at college, for that entire winter! I had 2 part time jobs, at the college, had gotten a Pell grant, and scholarship, and had rented a bedroom ( no kitchen priviledges ), from a widow, near the college campus! I put myself through 6 years, of college, with no financial help from my parents, other fsmily members, or friends! Now, I’m nearly 80 years old, suffering from an incurable neurodegenerative disease, and just trying to find a way, to help my beloved grandson! So, you mentioned reality! That was and this is my reality! So, no, your reply was not so harsh! Thanks for your special insightful reply!

It's not your fault—finding a therapist who truly understands and respects your needs can be really difficult, especially with all the barriers you’ve mentioned. Keep advocating for yourself and don’t give up. There are good therapists out there, even though it might take some time to find the right fit. You're not alone in this.

I have also struggled the last 11 months to find a therapist who takes insurance. No one cares about mental health. I had a great therapist before we moved out of state.

1. Id you are in an HMO, call then for names in your network - esp that can also do virtual if the cover as ots good to have online option if you don't feel good.

2. Report these bad unethical therapists to your insurance company, file a complaint for their behavior. Therapists are not airlines who overbook. Don't book two at a time in case one doesn't show up. Driving while doing therapy I'm not sure is legal as they are not focused on you. And what if ypu are talking to them and they get into a wreck. Trauma for you! Not ok. You get 100% focus. These are absurd scenarios and none legal.

If licensed, report them to the board and my all means, I hope you aren't still seeing any of them.

3. Read books about what to expect in therapy. Definitely do a free 15 minute interview and plan on several appts before deciding if they match you.

4. Watch therapists on youtube, some you can communicate with. Check Kati Morton's many many videos. Read what others do. Read what normal therapy looks like. Insist on boundaries esp if the feel too strict to you. You have never been shown boundaries by your family nor by therapists. Very few personal stories and only if there is a healing reason. Therapy is about you. They can/should! get their own therapist. Report them to the hmo.

Rrad about what it means to be in therapy. What is appropriate for you also. No shows are a good reason to be fired unless there is a really good reason and then you pay out of pocket for missed sessions. This is her income yoy play with. Commit and be there, or arrange ahead of time for day off, they do too.

Just ghosting no-show without contact at all after is just no! Its rude and disrespectful. So I don't blame them firing you and I'm thinking there is something missing in the story. If I no-showed, my therapist would know there is something very very wrong and should be very concerned. I send a portal note if I'm going to be 5 minutes late!