I am hanging In: The Grieving Person's Bill of Rights

Posted by reibur1951 @reibur1951, May 17, 2022

Doing okay trying to get the yard and 5 the north half of the 5.3a mowed down and controlled - looking good

Was sent this by Premiere Hospice never have seen it before - thought some may benefit from it its called "Mourners Bill of Rights" or The Grieving Person's Bill of Rights
• You have the right to experience your own unique grief. No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you do. So, when you turn to others for help, don't allow them to tell you what you should or should not be feeling.
• You have the right to talk about your grief. Talking about your grief will help you heal. Seek out others who will allow you to talk as much as you want, as often as you want, about your grief.
• You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions. Confusion, disorientation, fear, guilt, and relief are just a few of the emotions you might feel as part of your grief journey. Others may try to tell you that feeling angry, for example, is wrong. Don't take these judgmental responses to heart. Instead, find listeners who will accept your feelings without condition.
• You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits. Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you feeling fatigued. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. And don't allow others to push you into doing things you don't feel ready todo.
• You have the right to experience "grief attacks." Sometimes, out of nowhere, a powerful surge of grief may overcome you. This can be frightening, but is normal and natural. Find someone who understands and will let you talk itout.
• You have the right to make use of ritual. The funeral ritual does more than acknowledge the death of someone loved. It helps provide you with the support of caring people. More important, the funeral is a way for you to mourn. If others tell you that rituals such as these are silly or unnecessary, don't listen.
• You have the right to embrace your spirituality. If faith is a part of your life, express it in ways that seem appropriate to you. Allow yourself to be around people who understand and support your religious beliefs. If you feel angry at God, find someone to talk with who won't be critical of your feelings and abandonment.
• You have the right to search for meaning. You may find yourself asking, "Why did he or she have to die?", "Why this way?", "Why now?". Some of your questions may have answers, some may not. Comments such as "It was God's will" or "He is better off", are not helpful and you do not have to accept them.
• You have the right to treasure your memories. Memories are one of the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved. You will always remember, so instead of ignoring your memories, find others with whom you can share them.
• You have the right to move forward in your grief and heal. It will not happen quickly. Grief is a process, not an event. Be patient and tolerant with yourself.
The death of a loved one changes your life forever.

- Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD, Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition, Ft. Collins, CO

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Loss & Grief Support Group.

Check in time I know it's been awhile but the past year has been rough..

Not in That of my friends death was at peace with that as he endured so much through clinical studies, chemo, immunology, radiation treatments, and the lymph node tumors popping up faster than Radiation could kill them

I have survived ... This far the past year has been rough in that I nov. 2022 hit a deer with truck, then in March 2023 took the drivers side mirror off with a dumpster out in alley to far, sides all the clean up work of the 5.3 acres and the weed control at new house which still battling.

Besides because I sold the 64.5 acres to demolish and rebuild so would have a decent place to take friend


So could have medical care and help in a d he did not really care

After paying Loan off, rest of rebuilding cost, state and federal taxes there was nothing left. Then because of the sake of property this year had a very large amount taken out for Medicare.

This far I have made it by skin of teeth.

The clean up is done and I we with w ept for a few pieces of scrap

I am now in my new house hoping that I can come up with the property taxes

I hope all is doing well


To all and where ever I posted since 2017 -

Have come to the end of the road of cleaning up the 5.3 acres - and it sold closing was yesterday (Oct 3, 2023).

Left the place on Aug. 20th - after roughing it the last 3-4 weeks by sleeping in the pole barn - gave up on making the property looking picture perfect - but did get the 1974 mobile home tore down and scraped - it was beyond savagable repair and did not want it to hinder sale of property an leave it unattended for vandals and vagrant's

As one would say mission accomplished after after 7 - 8 years caring for the father with his not making blood cells after being diagnosed in Nov. 2016 dying in June 2018; losing the wife/mother who was in nursing home from Dec 3, 2004 on December 26, 2018 I sat with her for about 10 days watching her die - she was having STEMI's as could not would not of survives heart surgery - she was no food/medication etc. except for morphine for the pain and of course their son who was diagnosed with stage IVB Non-small cell lung cancer in Oct. 25, 2017 and dying April 22, 2022

Moving on with my life - been pulling weeds for the last 2 years will probably be doing that for while yet till know where i stand and can get grass seed planted

At least I am finally on my rebuilt home that was completed in April 2021 -

All this not bad for an old person... will be 72 next Friday the 13th.

Wishing you all the best and prayers for everyone to find their health

Will be leaving all the sites - not sure how to do it but will figure it out

Thank you for the support and encouragement over the past years.

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