Husband diagnosed with Bladder and Urethral Cancer: In shock

There is a Bladder Cancer Support Group here on Connect. Do take look and maybe post there as well. You might get some response here as well, but I think the support group might be helpful.

That's pretty uncaring of the doctor to say that without some more information. IMO
My husband was diagnosed with bladder cancer as well when he was in his late 60's. After treatment and a couple, maybe 3, surgeries to scrape the bladder, he was declared in remission and lived to be 89. He did NOT die from it nor did he ever have to have a colostomy. Please keep a positive attitude.
Agree with the advice above to go to Bladder Cancer Support Group.

Hi @caringwife1, I moved your discussion to the Bladder Cancer support group here:
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/bladder-cancer/
I did this so you can connect with other members like @sepdvm @vickipm @sally0526 @rose1966 @dallio and many others.

Caringwife, it sounds like you still have many questions for the doctor about your husband's diagnosis and next step. Does he have further testing? When do you talk with the doctor again?

@caringwife1 Yes, my husband was diagnosed in Jan 2025 at 63 with Muscle Invasive Bladder cancer. The cancer did not leave the bladder, Thank God. He went for Chemo…(gemcitabine and cisplatin) from January until April. He did real well and was still able to do his accounting job. Then, May31, 2025…he had a Radical Cystectomy…it’s a 5 to 6 hr surgery. The surgeon said no lymph nodes were cancerous. We were so happy. My husband has a little stoma near his belly button and attaches a pouch…small bag to it. He was walking the next day in the hospital and I took him home on the 7th day. He recovered pretty quickly and we are very thankful to God and the wonderful doctors/surgeons at YALE for saving his life. He is still working as an accountant. Has to go every 6 months for MRI/Contrast Scan. It is a miracle the cancer didn’t leave his bladder ! Praise the Lord for all his blessings. If you have any questions…please post or contact me. I will get right back to you. I pray your husband is healed and lives a long life! Rose
PS: he can do everything he did before the surgery! God bless xx

Hello Caring wife. I am sorry about you husbands diagnosis. I was diagnosed with UTUC (upper tract urothelial carcinoma-low grade/non=invasive) in 2022. Just HEARING the word cancer/carcinoma from my doctor sent me and my husband into a tailspin. My first doctor wanted to do a radical nephrectomy immediately (removal of my kidney and ureter). I did some research online and sought 2 second opinions. One from another urologist and another from a nephrologist (kidney doctor) I was so glad I did. The doctor's that I consulted said i was NO WHERE NEAR needing my kidney removed and my urologist has successfully lasered my tumors out about once a year. If I could offer you advice it would be this:
1) Your doctor works for YOU. Have him explain EVERYTHING about his diagnosis and treatment plan. If you don't understand something STOP him/her and have them explain it until you DO understand.
\2) Keep a journal/log. Write down every phone call, dr appointment, lab test, radiology appt etc with the NAMES of who you spoke with.
3) Even if you are ok with what your doctor is telling you, get a second opinion. Don't worry about offending your current doctor. If his diagnosis and treatment plan are what's best for you, he should WELCOME a second opinion. This is your husband's future we are talking about.
4) Remember to breathe. This new journey will be stressful. Acknowledge that your lives are changed forever. Cancer does that.

I hope everything goes well for you and your husband.

The MD is correct. The TURBT(s) for staging determine necessity of RC. Request a blue light TURBT and ctnda baseline. Those inform decisions. Nowadays some clinics do EVP which skips RC. Neoadjuvant chemo is also common. But it is a high risk. 30-40% people progress during this chemo. It is typically GC or DDMVAC. The latter is more effective but more toxic. It is not a stool ostomy. It would be a urostomy which is a piece of colon that routes the urine to a stoma near the navel into a bag. A neobladder or indiana pouch are also possible. Both are artificial bladders made of stool tissue.

If everything is local and there is no muscle invasion or worse, localized treatment is often an option. For many it is successful. For some it escapes anyway.

There is also trimodal which involves TURBTS, radiation and chemotherapy. However, it requires very narrow parameters and is often successful but far less common than RC.

Do not stick with a local hospital chain. Visit a NCI institute ASAP. Given both bladder and urethra are involved this is a high risk scenario.

I am so sorry to hear this. It’s a process that has potentially many different scenarios. It sounds like you are just at the beginning, keep asking questions of your care team to attempt to reveal why they are saying that so soon. I wish you well and this is disturbing to hear. Maybe a second option right now?

I have a relative who was recently diagnosed with both bladder and kidney cancer. I cannot emphasize enough that you follow Jaxfl advice: go to an NCI hospital to get this case reviewed. And also: don't panic (I know, easy to say, hard to do!). Best wishes to you and your husband.

@caringwife1 It is a terribly shocking diagnosis to deal with. My husband went through this 7 years ago. The thought of losing your bladder being discussed on the first visit is terrifying. This is exactly what we went through. Stage and type of cancer will be important in your decision making. My husband's was muscle invasive and highly aggressive Urothelial Cell Carcinoma. After a few years of many procedures, he chose to have a radical cystectomy with neobladder formation instead of a urostomy. Due to many complications he does need to self catheterize a few times a day, but he feels this is the new normal and it does include being free of cancer. He still has yearly scans to watch for metastases, and there have been complications, but still better than dying of cancer. All his work was done at Mayo Clinic in Rochester. We highly recommend at least a second opinion, preferably from a large referral center. You may find more options for his treatment plan by traveling. When will you get more information from his doctor?