How to cultivate autistic glimmers, joy from special interests

I am 45 years and recently diagnosed with AuDHD. Sm really struggling after a lifetime of trying to function and fit in, being “high masking” without knowing that’s what it was, or understanding the cost. I recall getting “aesthetic shivers” quite often when I was a child and younger adult - moments of pure, whole body joy- from sensory things like getting under my blankets, music and visual art, from the quality of light in a room, from a beautiful poem or the sound of a word, and from the feel of a pen or paintbrush on paper… It can be very hard for me to recognize and articulate my feelings, so having such an ineffable but undeniable whole body experience is all the more powerful and uplifting. But now at midlife I feel this sensation very infrequently. I wonder if this is burnout, depression, and/or just having disconnected from these things as part of trying to “be normal” for over 35 years? How can I find my way back?