How do you, as a parent, deal with the anger? Son has sarcoma

@ebloom64, as a mom it is so hard to see our children suffer. I know he is a young adult. But he's still your baby. Reading your story, here are a few things:

You might also wish to follow the
- Ostomy & J-Pouch Support Group https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/ostomy/

Your son may wish to join the monthly Zoom group to meet other young adults dealing with cancer.
Open to all patients (not only Mayo patients), the AYA support group facilitates various activities to talk about the hard stuff but also have fun and build a community of people who “get it.” Sessions are 6 to 8 p.m. (Arizona time)on the first Thursday of every month and alternate between in-person and virtual.
To register and get the Zoom invite, email Melody Griffith griffith.melody@mayo.edu

How is chemo going? Is the pneumonia under control?

My son who is 24; had a heart transplant in 2019 and was diagnosed with Hepatocellular carcinoma in 2025. Also transitioning from pediatric care to adult care is quite a shock.

My daughter was diagnosed with brain cancer at age 28. She had babies, 7 months, 2, and 4. Boy was I angry!

I ended up buying a "handyman special" two blocks from her, gutting the whole home myself! I remember angrily ripping off sheetrock, jackhammering old tile, breaking old cabinets, ripping out sinks. I did this until the house was down to the studs.

It was very therapeutic. I think anger is a reaction to the "unfairness" of life and the loss of a child dream.

I read your comment 4 days ago, and didn't know how or if I should, reply until today, when I removed our Navy Family flag from the pole so I could put out the American Flag. Our son, like your daughter, was 28 when he was diagnosed with stage 4 Ewings Sarcoma. His daughter was only 2 at that time. He was a lieutenant, and had a great future in the Navy, only to have it and his future ripped away in such a cruel way. My anger at the unfairness and my inability to protect him tore me apart. Since he was living 350 miles away, I spent over a year making 700 mile round trips on Saturday, and then again Sunday, every 3 weeks, so that my wife could watch our granddaughter while our son and his wife made 200 mile round trips to a major cancer center for treatment. Those long trips, like your home demolition, helped manage my anger. Ultimately, the treatment failed to lead to remission, and he was medically discharged. When he has good days, we have good days, but yes, there are times when the anger over what has happened to him really hits home, like today with the flag. I hope you find another outlet for your anger, because cancer really isn't fair, especially to our children, no matter how old they are.

@fontanhccmom, the transition from pediatric care to adult care is a shock, even just who is with you in the waiting room. I bet it is also hard as a parent and caregiver to transition with your son from childhood to adulthood. What have you found challenging as you both transition from his being a child to adulthood?

My expectations and the adult teams experience are so different: it is like we’re not even speaking the same language.